By shattysituation - 31/12/2012 22:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks 43 305
You deserved it 4 028

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Shit just got real.

Even though that sucks for you both, props to you for being a gentleman and letting her go first.

Comments

Shit just got real.

Better out than in I always say

That's some real shit that just happened

I see what you did there

Oh the irony lmao

This is possibly the funniest comment I have ever read on perhaps the best FML I have ever seen.

That's why they call it "explosive diarrhea".

Take Covah! *BOOM*

GET TO THE CHOPPA!!! *BOOM!*

Well thank god it isn't called implosive diarrhea >.<

thats sounds painful.

Now that's a shitty situation.

Who the FUCK thumbed this up? Show yourselves, you overused-pun-loving fiends! Then throw yourselves off a cliff. Preferably one with sharp, pointy rocks at the bottom.

Wow, are you the person who takes everything on the internet seriously? Hi, pleasure meeting you.

Geez, Doc. Maybe you should prescribe yourself some meds for your hatred towards puns.

10 out of 10 for originality. The crowd goes wild. Statues are erected and streets renamed in your honor. Not!

Miura and Lioness - no, I take very little seriously. Puns, however, I take VERY seriously. So when I see a pun get taken out and beaten over and over and over again, it's time to finally bury it. That time was about 2 years ago for "shitty situation", yet someone always drags it back out of its coffin for yet another last hurrah.

Haha DocBastard would love one of the Cyanide and Happiness comics they recently posted about puns.

Doc why didn't you slip something in her drink so she never uses it again.. I mean you have access to alot of crap!

I thought it was funny

Doc, you're one of my favorite commenters. I was just joking. Sorry

No need to apologise. It's all just fun and games, right? I SAID IT'S ALL JUST FUN AND GAMES!! RIGHT??! Good. :)

I thought it was punny. I guess everyone else missed the humor

Hey Doc, this fml violates rule 6 in your description!!

98 - Nobody missed the humour. We're just sick of getting this particular pun on every other FML.

To be fair, this "pun" is on literally every FML involving excrement in some form. So ... I, for one, can understand the disgust.

The ladies first rule fucked you over.

4- Are you kidding? He may have splattered his underwear but he also just became her personal hero. I want to give Op a fucking medal for performing above and beyond the call of duty. :) I also would have bolted to the sink or shower in that situation, but maybe that's just me. ;p

Call of duty. HAHA

"Also would have bolted to the sink" Bridesmaids anyone?

Why not go outside?

I'd pay to be the neighbor that watches that happen.

You'd pay to watch someone shit on their lawn? Different strokes for different folks I suppose......

Exactly. I thought "your're a man, the outdoors is your toilet" held true.

The world is a toilet to a man :D

Even though that sucks for you both, props to you for being a gentleman and letting her go first.

Men's underwear is usually stained anyway. Plus, he could have taken a dump in the bathtub if necessary :O

I take it you will not be going back to that restaurant.

You never know, they may get a nasty case of constipation.

56, so they would go back to the same restaurant and hope they get a different stomach ailment then the last time? Not following here...

65 - no. if they were constipated, they would wish they could let it all out like OP in his pants. Getting diarrhea would be a cure to get rid of a cannonball stuck in the barrel.

Steal her tampons.

8- Why, what'd she do to him? They both suffered from the restaurant equally and he Choose to let her go first. Did I miss something? :p

Where the fuck did tampons come from? Lol

Clearly, this person has no idea how human bodies work. I guess women shit from their cooters after all ... who knew?

You both exploded? That ought to hurt.

Was it mexican?

We all know it was Tacobell!

Chipotle. Definitely Chipotle.

I learned from the movie Brides Maids that it was in fact Brazilian food OP and his girlfriend ate.