Today, my mom bitched me out and threatened to send me to a Bible camp, after catching me admiring a photo of a bikini model, which is apparently "immoral behavior." This is the same woman who cheated on my dad twice, justifying it by claiming the Devil tempted her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom walked into the bathroom while I was taking a pic to send to my long-distance boyfriend. She then told me I would go to hell for flaunting myself at guys. I was fully clothed, sending a pic to see if he liked my new haircut. That and I'm 21. FML
Today, I told my mom I've been taking yoga lessons, and that it'd be cool if she took some with me. She immediately went on a rant, calling yoga "satanic" and accusing me of trying to get her into "devil worship". Well, that's the last time I try to patch our relationship up. FML
Today, my mom called me a slut after she found out I sleep naked. This is how desperate she is for any excuse to yell at me. FML
Today, my mom tried to convince my dad that I was a lesbian. Why? Because she was bored. FML
Today, my mom had a tantrum and screamed at me over my use of bronzer. She called me a selfish bitch and claimed that I'm somehow slowly giving myself skin cancer. FML
Today, my mother threatened me if I keep wearing yoga pants to school, she's going to have my dad pick me up in a speedo. FML
Today, on Facebook, my sister posted a ton of photos of herself wearing a skimpy bikini, commenting that she looked hideous and fat. I can't stand attention-seeking fuckballs, so I called her on it. My mother then condemned me for "mocking" my sister, and grounded me for an entire month. FML
Today, my normally very modest and prissy mom came home, pissed off about something. I asked her what was wrong, but she wouldn't say, and snapped at me to "fuck off." She then grounded me for "making" her use that kind of "vile language." FML
Today, my mother is mad at me because I dared, yes DARED, to go out with a girl who stands up to her instead of just meekly doing what she tells her. Which should tell you exactly what sort of woman my mother is, so you know this FML is just the tip of my lifelong misery iceberg. FML
Today, my mother bitched me out for filing divorce papers against my abusive husband. According to her, it's a "slap in God's face". She's the one who's divorced two husbands so far because they weren't getting job promotions fast enough to support her hoarding habit. FML
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Top comments
williamcarter93 13
Hypocrites at their finest. Anything is okay for them to do with their religion as their excuse but as soon as someone else does it they're immoral, hellbound people.
DocBastard 40
I hear there are lots of naughty, naughty girls at bible camp.
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Comments (228)
Enslaved 38
That's me in the corner That's me in the spotlight Losing my religion Trying to keep a view ~REM My reason? People like your mom
Holyshihtzus 7
I thumbed you up mainly because of your awesome taste in music.
cicpjaky 6
when does the narwhal bacon?
tsent8 15
Midnight happy?
jaredofmo 22
Imagine what she'd say if it was a MALE model.
whatsupbitches 4
So I guess you didn't catch the Victoria's Secret fashion show because that would be immoral too, right?
olpally 33
Love the username op... Lol. Tell her to stop being a ***** and say God tempted you to say that. Hypocritical bitch.
BlowinChronic 18
God tempts people to say stuff like that? That sounds like a problem...
Fuhkyoo 17
Of course he does! how would westboro baptists be able to spout such ignorant shit? Obama for antichrist 2012!!!!
unicornpower56 7
My mom is also a hypocrite. She says to me and my sister that smoking is stupid and for dumb people right before she goes out to smoke.
happle 21
Mine too. Except she pretends she doesn't. Really grinds my gears.
gracehi 33
In your mom's defense, she's probably been addicted for a long time (probably since she was a child, in my experience) and can't help her behavior, but is still trying prevent you from repeating her mistakes because she knows smoking is extremely unhealthy.
Zomg_Okay 27
18 - Does she deny that she is dumb? Unless she's making herself out to be an exception to that rule, it isn't really hypocrisy in my opinion. It's more a case of her ensuring you don't make the same mistakes.
CharresBarkrey 16
18 - You're 15 and you smoke? You really are stupid. Your mom probably started smoking before they came out with the health risks, like my parents did. You, however, have no excuse but stupidity. She's trying to help you and keep you healthy.
Zomg_Okay 27
188 - Before you go throwing out further insults, would you do me a favour? Would you point out exactly where 18 admitted to smoking?
ICastillo 25
Go to bible camp, pick you up a couple hotties, take them to your house and have a sloppy orgy, then just say the devil tempted you.
gc327072 31
The sad part is that there would be girls there willing to do so.
ICastillo 25
Yeah gc327072, but the devil tempted them to do it.
gc327072 31
Oh, yea! Let's do it then! OP's mom: "Hey Satan, I really want to go bang these dudes, can I use you as an excuse?" Satan: "That's fine, darling, but don't forget about out date in 50 years! ;)"
gc327072 31
our* Gahh, I hate when I make typos!
jpatrick005 6
Tell her Jesus died on the cross for the sims you would commit. So, in turn, died so you could admire the picture immorally.
doctorhook86 25
24: I'm pretty sure Jesus didn't die for my Sims.
gc327072 31
The Sims: Jerusalem edition
_wraith 15
#153 - If I could thumb you up more I would.
gracehi 33
Oh, geez. Here come the "religion is evil/ false" and "religious people are all hypocrites/ morons" comments. Although, the latter does apply specifically to your mom. Sorry, OP.
cmtxbe 6
Sometimes religious people are the most hypocritical bastards on this planet.