Today, yet again, I was getting intimate with my shower head. Some complete genius decided to flush the toilet downstairs halfway through, which sent scalding-hot water all up in my privates. I've yet to find a comfortable sitting position. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was enjoying some "alone time" with the detachable shower head when someone flushed the toilet, causing the cold water to run out and badly scald my genitals. It hurts to walk. FML
Today, I discovered that if I turn my shower off for a minute, then back on again, the water comes out scalding hot. I discovered that while the showerhead was pointed directly at my genitals. FML
Today, I was taking a shower, facing away from the faucet, when I dropped the soap. When I bent over to pick up the soap, my sister flushed a toilet in the next room, causing hot water to scorch my anus. I got made my shower's bitch, FML
Today, I was in the shower having a little fun with the detachable shower head. I didn’t know anyone else was home until I heard a toilet flush and scalding hot water flooded my cooch. I think I need to go to the ER, but I’m too embarrassed to ask for a ride there. I can’t walk or sit properly. FML
Today, I was taking a shower for the first time in my new apartment. The shower head broke off the wall and slammed onto my head, while spraying water everywhere. I tried to stop the water, but only stopped the cold and got burnt by the hot. FML
Today, after having a pretty rough day, I decided a nice, hot shower would be great. Ten minutes in, the shower head apparently couldn't take the water pressure anymore, and it flew off and hit me in the face. FML
Today, I turned the shower on the hottest setting so it would warm up quickly. I started to sing and dance around the bathroom. I got too carried away and pelvic thrusted the water, which I hadn't turned back down. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and steamy in the shower, until I slipped and fell backwards into the shower curtain, which caused me to hit the back of my head on the toilet seat, and the bar of the shower curtain to land on my throat. FML
Today, I went to a friend's house and was so excited to try her fancy bathroom with a “smart toilet.” The toilet had a “sensitive” bidet feature, and when I tried to stand up, it somehow thought I was still sitting and started spraying repeatedly. I just froze while standing, as it repeatedly splashed water on my ass. FML
Today, I finally made the connection between people in my apartment building flushing their toilets, and my running shower water becoming scalding hot. This wouldn't be quite as bad if there weren't six floors to the building, with twenty units on each. FML
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Top comments
Overseer211 1
Maybe you should buy a proper vageenus pleaser.
namyo 13
That must have been a heated session
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Comments (200)
xBabySushii 3
Yep, they're the idiot.
Gromky 2
Three words: load balancing valve. It will prevent that, as well as other scalding incidents. Better two words: sex toy. Just buy one. Won't waste water, should be more effective, and better for your health anyway.
MissMae93 23
I agree, 17. As a female OP should know that obviously she runs the risk of burning herself but also the ****** naturally cleans itself. Forcing water up in there can lead to yeast infections and vaginal dryness. Both are NASTY. Seriously OP, a vibrator can do wonders.
DjeePee 25
God, 81, do you really think OP pushed the shower head in her vajayay? If a woman says she masturbates with the shower head, it means that she gives herself a clitoral ****** from the water pressure.
redtigerlily 5
Do you even know what you are talking about. You aim the shower head at the ********. Stop acting like you shove the whole showerhead up there.
nevereyes 31
If she's a minor then I doubt her parents would let her buy or have any sort of sex toy.
MissMae93 23
Why yes, I did know that 124, but the amount of water pressure coming out of a shower head can EASILY force water into the vaginal canal even if that's not OP's intention.
perdix 31
Try Downward-Facing Dog in front of an air-conditioner, Hot Lips.
br0ccoli 15
There's bound to be some upward-facing hotdogs from this comment.
aliciaanomalyyxo 12
Hot lips! That's ****** hysterical hahaha
bingababe 16
Watching M*A*S*H repeats will never be the same for me again!
MetallicaFTW 16
That's funny shit. :)
pinkpixie06 11
I agree with some other comments...it's time to buy a toy to replace that shower head!
lucianaamelia 21
Think everyone's agreed here, go buy a sex toy!
Trai 6
Pics.. Or it didnt happen.
SettoFail 9
find a man.
berryblizzard 11
Would you like some ice for that burn?
GothicAngel17 24
That's not even punny.
chane1100 6
Oh god, a 15 year old..
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
53- So what?
MissMae93 23
Face it 53, the FML community is getting younger and younger. I still think there should be an age minimum on this site, some things on here really aren't appropriate for younger audiences.
rockybalboaaa_ 6
Come on . That was ignorant .
laden_swallow09 35
27- That joke only works when someone is severely discredited with an aptly placed insult. Seriously, understand WHY it's funny before you use a joke.
pokefan813 16
53 - Oh god, a 17 year old!
wildsweetchild 19
I guess things got pretty burning hot between you and the shower head...careful next time...hear your neighbor flushing- expect hot water gushing...
br0ccoli 15
Two words: Magic wand. It's a stress reliever, sore muscle calmer, pseudo-Xanax, sleeping aid, headache-curer and all around the best money you'll ever spend. Great for girls who are short on time. I promise you will smile more!
zandalee 20
It will never snore, fart, stand you up, be late, dump you, argue, hog the remote... God I could go on all night!
paijus 0
That's what she said.