Today, the doorbell rang. I saw my incredibly overbearing mum's car outside, so I stayed quiet and tried to sneak upstairs. As I crawled through the hallway, commando style, I realised the door blinds were still out for cleaning. If scowls could kill, I'd be roasting in Hell right now. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, someone knocked at my door. I saw it was my Mom, so I flattened myself against the door and tried to be as quiet as possible. I pulled my phone out and almost had silenced it before she called and heard the ringtone through the door. I had to invite her in and hear the usual "get married and have kids." FML
Today, I was so exhausted that I slept through my phone ringing, and later my doorbell ringing. My psycho mom freaked out, and thinking I was in trouble, broke a window to get inside. This all happened before 7 a.m. FML
Today, my relationship with my family is so bad that when someone burst into my house without ringing the doorbell, my first assumption was, "Oh God I hope it's not my mum visiting!" rather than, "Oh God, it's a burglar!" It was actually my mother-in-law, and I was truly relieved. FML
Today, my mom realized that the "door" part in "screen door" doesn't block sound when she began to talk to our neighbours about how much of a failure I am. I heard everything. FML
Today, I was singing in the shower, not realising the window was open. When I got out, the neighbours were at the front door, loudly arguing with my mother. They were complaining about my awful singing. FML
Today, I was daydreaming in bed when my phone rang from across the room. I scrambled out of my covers, tripped over a pair of boots I had by the bed, and slipped on some jeans laying on the floor. Luckily, I answered my phone in time, but only to have my mom tell me to clean my room before she got home. FML
Today, my mom and I heard a thump from inside the coat closet. I opened the door, and something fell on me. My mom, who was behind me, screamed, closed the laundry room door, and ran into the garage, leaving me to face the alleged attacker. It was the vacuum. FML
Today, I was trying to sneak home from a party. Instead, I head-butted a glass door and woke my mother up. FML
Today, I tried sneaking over to my girlfriend's house to be romantic and knocked on her window. She went and got her mother to see who was at the window. FML
Today, I tried fixing the squeak in my bedroom door. Instead, I made it dramatically louder. That night, when I sneaked to the kitchen for a snack, the door shrieked like a horror movie prop. My family thought someone broke in. It was just me craving chips. FML
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Top comments
SWC_Penguin 17
Going "commando" has two different meanings. I'm hoping to god that you meant both meanings simultaneously because that makes the story even better.
HKCgrimmjow 15
However you have to agree picturing this scenario is really quite amusing
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Comments (85)
heylesha 8
One day your going to miss your over-bearing mother.
after4ffect 11
well said #1
HKCgrimmjow 15
However you have to agree picturing this scenario is really quite amusing
MissA7X 11
You're*
mollyjynxjax 28
Fail. It's showing possession, and is therefore your. You're means you are.
Clumsyblonde22 12
Not for the first one. The first your should be you're. If you're going to try and correct someone, make sure you are right first.
mollyjynxjax 28
Oops, missed the first one
twinkletoes747 16
I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume 21 was correcting the first "your" which in fact should be you're. Because " you are" going to miss your over bearing mother.
noonenoeone 22
32, Thank you for failing harder than anyone else on FML today. You've amused me with your over inflated confidence and lack of knowledge. (That's a possessive form of your that I just used so you have reference of how to use it correctly.)
Feklfekl2222 32
There will come a day when men miss their overbearing mothers but it is not this day
BronayPonay 6
That may be, but in the mean time maybe she should get a clue. Doesn't mean OP will love her less if she backs off a little.
EvilUndead 9
.. unless he dies sooner than her.
mollyjynxjax 28
50, thanks for being a dick over an honest mistake. I didn't see the first 'your' was wrong.
tjv3 10
Well said heylesha ! My mom died 5 years ago and I would do anything to have her back. I have a coworker who always bad mouths her mom and it pisses me off. So the other day while she was complaining about her I had enough and told her that she should be grateful to still have her mom in her life and that she was just an entitled spoiled person
dakkat720 6
who the **** cares about the grammar... why do you people always pop out to instantly correct grammar. I'll bet rooms go quiet when you walk in.... its because no one wants you to correct them.
zandalee 20
50- get that stick out your ass! You're sounding like a pompous twat.
HKCgrimmjow 15
Just my opinion but A: you shouldn't just correct people for the up votes. B: no need to be a thunder **** and try to make a comeback trying to correct a correction that is already In fact correct (checks grammar to make sure nobody tries it on me) lmao
louiseth 9
50, there wasn't a 'lack of knowledge' at all, 32 actually had the 'your' and 'you're' correct, they just didn't realise that 'your' was there twice, and read the wrong one. You just criticised someone for not reading a comment properly, by not reading a comment properly. But that's ok because you've amused me with your over-inflated confidence.
gribbles 12
63 - everyone's relationship with their parents is completely different. Who knows how it was growing up for them, and maybe they have every right to bad mouth his/her mother. Just because they gave birth to you doesn't mean they're a good parent. I hate the underlying theme that, "they raised you, they gave birth to you; therefore they are amazing parents."
nightbirdblue 27
Look at it this way, at least she doesn't scold you for having a girl over, threaten to ground you for coming home past midnight, or slap the shit out out of you at your own house.
thedictator_fml 12
not necessarily...my mom's like that, and i live with my dad on the other side of the planet for a year now...and i don't miss her the slightest, actually the thought of visiting her in summer annoys me...just because she's a mom it doesn't mean she's a good person...i feel you, OP
tehdarkness 21
Right on! Anyone can be parents buy not everyone should be!
chinagirl3343 8
Na. Just bc someone gives birth to you doesn't mean they're a good person. Op you should've kept crawling. Maybe she would figure out that she needs to change how she deals with your relationship.
mr_sarcastic416 29
#32's post is the first time I've seen a grammar nazi fail post on here (I'm sure others exist, I'm saying it's the foe at the I've seen one)
GAeroNKissR 26
#69 Gribbles - I whole heartedly agree. Sure, I miss the idea of a mom & dad, but I don't miss the actual people one bit. & it's frustrating we're told we'll regret it one day - when really it's quite the opposite in that the parents are the one who will regret what they've done to us...even if not till their death bed. Their loss...their burden to carry.
7722 2
#1, are you REALLY stupid, or are you just an overbearing mother yourself? NO ONE MISSES THEIR OVER BEARING MOTHER, even when they are DEAD! SHIT, they will probly even be HAPPIER , in fact, they probly had her killed!! Havent you ever seen the movie "Throw momma from the train"?!?! Over bearing mothers are NEVER missed, AND often murdered , lmao.
Isandri 29
What were you doing, that u didn't open the doors? C'mon, she's your mother, she just loves u! much..
rocker_chick105 31
Um.. what?
Isandri 29
nothing, i totaly misread the FML, sorry
woainishamu 21
Too much pressure to be second eh?
woainishamu 21
Too much pressure to be second eh?
BrookieAnn 19
She's probably going to grill you about your escape tactics later
SWC_Penguin 17
Going "commando" has two different meanings. I'm hoping to god that you meant both meanings simultaneously because that makes the story even better.
MrClean17 15
If I was commando in both senses of the word, I would have hid from my mom too
doubleddun 9
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
It says commando style, I think everyone understood what she was saying and didn't need to read your lame joke.
RedPillSucks 33
It was still funny. the first thing I thought was the 2nd form of commando, "sans underpants".
lordslaya53 14
@24 your username should say doubledumb
Pwn17 25
Why was it so bad to see her? Overbearing is better than her being a bitch.
SMHsohard 22
Speaking as a parent, it's nice to see all of the "your mom isn't going to be around forever" comments. However, I've seen a few friends totally alienate their children because they didn't know when to back the Hell off and let the kids be adults. From personal experience, the reason I went to College 5 hours from home was because it was close enough that I could get home quickly if necessary, but far enough away that my dad couldn't just drop by using the "I was just in the neighborhood" excuse.
erockinthesuburb 17
You sir, fail at being a Ninja.
Jharrist89 12
Don't worry! You place, your rules. Sometimes you need that break.
chabelo 10
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
FHL how can you talk like that about your mom
mollyjynxjax 28
Overbearing mothers are a pain in the ass
depocadoll 15
This one made me laugh out loud. This is pretty funny. I would have done the same thing, and then tell her to stop dropping by unannounced and to give me the privacy that comes with adulthood. So what did you say? Hahaha
BauerMegan 31
It made me laugh out too. This FML has made it to my favourites for sure!
JessBassett 24
As much as she is overbearing, she probably doesn't realize it and you probably just really hurt her feelings. Remember OP, she won't be there forever! Cherish her while you can, obviously you're lucky that overbearing is a sign of love ahaha!