Today, a stripper came into my work to get some posters copied. She asked if she could pay in small bills. I just touched $50 that have probably rubbed up against a stripper's twat. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the bank to deposit the cash I made waiting tables. While the teller was counting, I apologized for having so many small bills. She said "It's OK honey, I helped another one of your kind just the other day. You're lucky we take your dirty money." She thought I was a stripper. FML
Today, I went to the bank to deposit the cash I made waiting tables. While the teller was counting, I apologized for having so many small bills and she said "It's OK honey, I helped another one of your kind just the other day. You're lucky we take your dirty money." She thought I was a stripper. FML
Today, I was at the strip club. I put my dollar on the stage. When the stripper came over to take it, she stood me up and flipped my tits and said I had bigger ones than her. I'm a guy. FML
Today, my girlfriend hated the idea of sex so much she was willing to give me money for a stripper. FML
Today, my cousin and his fiancée took me to my first strip club experience. One of the strippers came over and danced for me. She pulled her thong string out and I tried to place the dollar in it with my mouth. I missed, to which she said "Put it in there, retard." FML
Today, I won $200 a contest at a bar. The manager took me to a vault where money collected from the strippers go into a pool. He told me that at least half of the bills were slid through a strippers butt crack so I was to "choose wisely". FML
Today, I was running the register at my work and this big lady pulls her wad of cash out of her bra and hands it to me. The bills she handed me were moist. FML
Today, a lady came into my workplace to pay her $120 bill in one dollar bills. I kept losing count. FML
Today, I went grocery shopping. Being a bartender, I had a huge wad of dollar bills from cash tips. As I was counting them at the register, I looked at the cashier and joked, "You probably think I'm a stripper or something." He looked me up and down and said, "Uh... hell no." FML
Today, my friends took me to a strip club for my 25th birthday. I went onstage with 5 dollars in my mouth to tip the dancer. She then took off my belt and pants and spanked me 25 times with the buckle end of the belt. I paid a stripper 5 dollars to whoop my ass. FML
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Top comments
Kayokku 1
That's the best kind of $50.
Grimmerie 31
lesbians exist.
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Comments (343)
johnnyryall 3
That's just terrible...
robertsa426 0
I call that a win.
Zombie65 0
Ok still trying to understand what the problem is ....... ;-)
mea_iloveskiing 26
I just wonder what were those posters like.
buddmoney 0
They were only close to it I know you can't stuff money in a stripper's woo hoo try it and you'll see the parking lot after the slap in the face which stings for 15 minutes
Yngve_fml 9
Comment deleted.
TheCylonmaster 3
Note that every Dollar that anyone has ever touched was probably in a stripper's crack at least once.
saladgirl123 0
any money you have had on any given day could have been rubbed on a dirtynastystrippertwat!
PrestonG95 7
Sorry, I didn't know that at first.
joaoking 1
That is awesome, what do they smell like