Today, a stripper came into my work to get some posters copied. She asked if she could pay in small bills. I just touched $50 that have probably rubbed up against a stripper's twat. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the bank to deposit the cash I made waiting tables. While the teller was counting, I apologized for having so many small bills. She said "It's OK honey, I helped another one of your kind just the other day. You're lucky we take your dirty money." She thought I was a stripper. FML
Today, I went to the bank to deposit the cash I made waiting tables. While the teller was counting, I apologized for having so many small bills and she said "It's OK honey, I helped another one of your kind just the other day. You're lucky we take your dirty money." She thought I was a stripper. FML
Today, I was at the strip club. I put my dollar on the stage. When the stripper came over to take it, she stood me up and flipped my tits and said I had bigger ones than her. I'm a guy. FML
Today, my girlfriend hated the idea of sex so much she was willing to give me money for a stripper. FML
Today, my cousin and his fiancée took me to my first strip club experience. One of the strippers came over and danced for me. She pulled her thong string out and I tried to place the dollar in it with my mouth. I missed, to which she said "Put it in there, retard." FML
Today, I won $200 a contest at a bar. The manager took me to a vault where money collected from the strippers go into a pool. He told me that at least half of the bills were slid through a strippers butt crack so I was to "choose wisely". FML
Today, I was running the register at my work and this big lady pulls her wad of cash out of her bra and hands it to me. The bills she handed me were moist. FML
Today, a lady came into my workplace to pay her $120 bill in one dollar bills. I kept losing count. FML
Today, I went grocery shopping. Being a bartender, I had a huge wad of dollar bills from cash tips. As I was counting them at the register, I looked at the cashier and joked, "You probably think I'm a stripper or something." He looked me up and down and said, "Uh... hell no." FML
Today, my friends took me to a strip club for my 25th birthday. I went onstage with 5 dollars in my mouth to tip the dancer. She then took off my belt and pants and spanked me 25 times with the buckle end of the belt. I paid a stripper 5 dollars to whoop my ass. FML
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Top comments
Kayokku 1
That's the best kind of $50.
Grimmerie 31
lesbians exist.
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Comments (343)
dmeloccaro 5
What kind of posters was she gtting copied?
CaitlinLittle 3
You could correct me baby I'll like you either way, if you wanna talk text me 519 943 3306
justs0me_r0mance 0
how do you know they were a stripper op? I'd say someone goes to the strip club enough to remember faces
MrBobby_fml 7
Hmm, dunno.... maybe they were posters for a strip club??
nicko_oz 4
still doesn't make them a stripper she could have been a bartender or something
salyssac 3
And what do you think all the other money you've ever touched has been? Other money could be a lot worse....
chelseaaababyyy 17
you cant tell a customer they arent aloud to use their money.. especially that they cant because they are a stripper.
j_cat187 20
If op was a guy he wouldn't have posted
HumanWiki 8
Nice
pepelittle9 0
Y WOULD THAT BE A BAD THING!
twinny_sc 13
I love the word twat.
potsie10 4
So? I'm sure this isn't the first time you've had money in your hand that's had some snatch on it. I'm pretty sure there's been some ass n balls on some too.