Please do elaborate on how that would've been, in ANY way, "better".

#5 - The story would be more entertaining, duh! :D

I think being electrocuted would have just added insult to injury. Unless the reason is "I'm a serial killer and I enjoy cutting girls up", please explain how being electrocuted could possibly make anything better.

Well wasn't that convenient??

Yes that sounds hilarious *sarcasm*

19, your picture fit really nicely with that serial killer comment. Them eyes, man, them eyes.

I'd say the car.

I'd say the metal pipe won.

I'd say the pavement.

I'd say the people that have that on video.

I'd say the doctor who sent out the bill....

I'd say us fellow FML'ers who read this.

Yeah im on acid as well.

Yeah totally 3 and at the end of Op's injuries that Wah Wah Wah Wahhhhh theme song plays.

Along with himself.

I'm sure your Mum is proud now.

And the fact that the app is called FML

I had the same feeling after the "Today," part

What trolls haha

I knew when I read "I tried to beat my dad to the car."

No, wasn't that bad. I got a swollen ankle, scratched arm, black eye, sore back/pelvis, and head trauma(Should NOT have gone to sleep last night, whoops). I laughed my ass off on the way home, and so did my dad. The steel cables bent like a foot and a half or so I'm told, I passed out, so all I remember is the sound of my head hitting the pipe and waking up on the floor.

Правда, но это была гонка.

Hey I had to take the trek to make it. Google translate screws translations if there are too many words, so I kept it short and sweet ^.^

What did that even say???

#30 - Haste makes waste.

I'm being the lazy one here and NOT going to google translate like the rest of ya haha