Today, a stripper came into my work to get some posters copied. She asked if she could pay in small bills. I just touched $50 that have probably rubbed up against a stripper's twat. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the bank to deposit the cash I made waiting tables. While the teller was counting, I apologized for having so many small bills. She said "It's OK honey, I helped another one of your kind just the other day. You're lucky we take your dirty money." She thought I was a stripper. FML
Today, I went to the bank to deposit the cash I made waiting tables. While the teller was counting, I apologized for having so many small bills and she said "It's OK honey, I helped another one of your kind just the other day. You're lucky we take your dirty money." She thought I was a stripper. FML
Today, I was at the strip club. I put my dollar on the stage. When the stripper came over to take it, she stood me up and flipped my tits and said I had bigger ones than her. I'm a guy. FML
Today, my girlfriend hated the idea of sex so much she was willing to give me money for a stripper. FML
Today, my cousin and his fiancée took me to my first strip club experience. One of the strippers came over and danced for me. She pulled her thong string out and I tried to place the dollar in it with my mouth. I missed, to which she said "Put it in there, retard." FML
Today, I won $200 a contest at a bar. The manager took me to a vault where money collected from the strippers go into a pool. He told me that at least half of the bills were slid through a strippers butt crack so I was to "choose wisely". FML
Today, I was running the register at my work and this big lady pulls her wad of cash out of her bra and hands it to me. The bills she handed me were moist. FML
Today, a lady came into my workplace to pay her $120 bill in one dollar bills. I kept losing count. FML
Today, I went grocery shopping. Being a bartender, I had a huge wad of dollar bills from cash tips. As I was counting them at the register, I looked at the cashier and joked, "You probably think I'm a stripper or something." He looked me up and down and said, "Uh... hell no." FML
Today, my friends took me to a strip club for my 25th birthday. I went onstage with 5 dollars in my mouth to tip the dancer. She then took off my belt and pants and spanked me 25 times with the buckle end of the belt. I paid a stripper 5 dollars to whoop my ass. FML
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Top comments
Kayokku 1
That's the best kind of $50.
Grimmerie 31
lesbians exist.
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Comments (343)
coltsrock37 15
That's called scant Grant
schaflava 0
Hey boy what's all the racket? Do you scream like Clijsters?
fadedflyer16 0
That's probly the most action you'll get
saIty 17
Rub that cash all over your face.
eminemchick 19
mm kinky;)
miz66independent 1
Mmmm facial herpes.
JOURNEYTHEBEAST 0
You know you loved it. And probably wanked to the posters she made.
Flora_fml 6
As the OP is a female, how do you think she "wanked"?
CryMoreFMLs 15
Some girls can wank... But that's a whole different type of "girl" alltogether.
JOURNEYTHEBEAST 0
Gross bro
Flora_fml 6
ChePow is a "woman". Says so right at the top. Those of you saying that's the closest to a ****** she'll ever be probably need to realize she's already got one. Pay attention before you post!
schaflava 0
We didn't know that bitch
FarSide 23
Well now you do, son of a bitch.
zaveeshaveesh3 7
-98 we didn't know you were so stupid either but were not complaining about it
chelseaaababyyy 17
thank god someone finally cleared that up, that was getting anoying !
tonsta28 4
What if she is a lesbian ?. She wuld hav enjoyed it then
jessiccaa 0
hahaha! l
schaflava 0
Says the lebron fan por vida
aFatFuck 0
Don't you talk to Bill Murray like that
dubstep87 0
More has been done with those bills then just touching a snatch, someone probably snorted coke or wiped there ass sweat.!
dmeloccaro 5
Have you ever wiped ass sweat with any sort of paper money? That's just weird...
DomoLaDii 8
love DUBSTEP!! LOL
pulkit10 3
As long as she didn't have a penis, I don't see the problem here.
oops_im_fucked 8
The problem Is that op (who is a girl) just touched bills that most likely Touched another females STD filled ******...
IndigoAcrylic 9
Striiper,hun. Not prostitute.
thebestofboth 20
I think you misunderstand what a stripper is, they are not prostitutes and there fore do not have sex with men who attend the strip club unless it is outside of work. If they have an STD, it is completely unwork-related
sataris20 5
And thats a bad thing?
MiaLoves 8
the op is a WOMEN.
zukinihudini 0
WOMAN!!
flockz 20
WOAH MAN!!
eminemchick 19
WOE MEN!
miz66independent 1
Fudge eye nuh!
zaveeshaveesh3 7
Did we mention that OP is a woman?
ifailplzinsultme 0
C-C-C-C-Combo breaker!
MiaLoves 8
woman* sorry, auto correct.(:
wolfsheart 14
That's yummy.
plasticfork 4
You can always, you know, wash your hands.