By Anonymous - 07/10/2010 23:45 - United States

Today, my cousin and his fiancée took me to my first strip club experience. One of the strippers came over and danced for me. She pulled her thong string out and I tried to place the dollar in it with my mouth. I missed, to which she said "Put it in there, retard." FML
I agree, your life sucks 11 594
You deserved it 34 605

Same thing different taste

Top comments

yazmi_09 3

lol! why didn't you just put it in with your hand? or were you trying to floss?

Don't. Put. The. Money. In. Your. Mouth!! This is twice this week I've had to say this! Club Etiquette 101 people! It's rude and unsanitary.


Nasty. I hope you didn't catch raging mouth herpes or something from your face being that close to a stripper's bottom.

Yuck. Money is the dirtiest thing in the world, it gets passed around from person to person and you put it in your mouth? Not the best idea. But I'm sorry to hear that strippers think your a retard...

JoshTheMaggot 8

You know what else gets passed around? Squaids, so stay aways from the stripper.

Totally unrelated fact: A high percentage of money has traces of drug residue on it such as heroin, meth and cocaine. What a shitty stripper! These ***** are there to get money so you would think they wouldn't bite the hand that feeds them!

dudeitsdanny 9

*****? Little harsh? Think about what some of them must be going through to be willing to deal with pervs. Besides, I think I read somewhere that touching strippers and putting anything but your hands near them is against the law. Either way, no need to call someone a **** when you don't know their reasons for working there. Besides.. She likely makes more in an hour than a mcDonald's employee in a day.. OP trying to be sexy isn't gonna get her more money, and his $5 probably aren't worth having to deal with bad attempts at being sexy.

#38 You're not making any sense... " touching strippers and putting anything but your hands near them is against the law." Putting you hands on someone and touching them is the same thing you know. And also, yes strippers are *****. It's not because they make more money than someone who works at McDonald's that they're saints. They have a choice working there or not, and they chose their life. Everybody needs money, everybody can have a tough life. Doesn't mean I'm gonna go and show off my ass and **** to some married perv with 5 kids and let people put one dollar bills in my thong.

That doesn't necessarily make her a ****.

Something more along the lines of physically going out and having sex with either random people or just a lot of people in general. If that's what she's gotta do to make a living (at least until she can find a real job), then that's what needs to be done. It's better than living on the streets with nothing. Someone on an older FML made a good point about one of their friends. Their friend was a stripper, but she was a virgin. In my eyes, that doesn't make her a ****. Though, stripping for money is a slutty behaviour. I guess there's a fine line.

yazmi_09 3

lol! why didn't you just put it in with your hand? or were you trying to floss?

Shookitup 0

Were you trying to be sexy for her? Strippers don't care if you flirt or hit on them, they want what's in your wallet buddy.

KingDingALing 9

You should've said "Shut up, *****!"

Don't let a stripper call you retard. That's way over the line. Teach her some good manners ;). haha

styphon 5

that stripper above is right!

theian01 3
Specterk50 0

I wonder what flavor that floss is...o.O

aFatFuck 0

Why kind of jackass tries to put a dollar in a strippers g string with his mouth?

I think she goes through enough as it is, you should have just put it in her g-string. Oh well OP maybe you'll get a more cheerful one next time.

BadPinkKitty07 0

yes, poor little stripper, she's got it so rough. XD. rofl then maybe she can go find a real job.

so.. you didn't put it in there after that did you?

littlemissdqgirl 8
denvan 0

you should have pulled a 100 bill and requested change :)

Shookitup 0

Ha she'll be popping quarters from her vag bag.

Dynoblaze 1

I think the real fml here is that your cousin is marrying a chick with a strong potential for f/f/m action, and you're not.

wtfsnickers 1

maybe it is a mffm she wants