Today, a stripper came into my work to get some posters copied. She asked if she could pay in small bills. I just touched $50 that have probably rubbed up against a stripper's twat. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the bank to deposit the cash I made waiting tables. While the teller was counting, I apologized for having so many small bills. She said "It's OK honey, I helped another one of your kind just the other day. You're lucky we take your dirty money." She thought I was a stripper. FML
Today, I went to the bank to deposit the cash I made waiting tables. While the teller was counting, I apologized for having so many small bills and she said "It's OK honey, I helped another one of your kind just the other day. You're lucky we take your dirty money." She thought I was a stripper. FML
Today, I was at the strip club. I put my dollar on the stage. When the stripper came over to take it, she stood me up and flipped my tits and said I had bigger ones than her. I'm a guy. FML
Today, my girlfriend hated the idea of sex so much she was willing to give me money for a stripper. FML
Today, my cousin and his fiancée took me to my first strip club experience. One of the strippers came over and danced for me. She pulled her thong string out and I tried to place the dollar in it with my mouth. I missed, to which she said "Put it in there, retard." FML
Today, I won $200 a contest at a bar. The manager took me to a vault where money collected from the strippers go into a pool. He told me that at least half of the bills were slid through a strippers butt crack so I was to "choose wisely". FML
Today, I was running the register at my work and this big lady pulls her wad of cash out of her bra and hands it to me. The bills she handed me were moist. FML
Today, a lady came into my workplace to pay her $120 bill in one dollar bills. I kept losing count. FML
Today, I went grocery shopping. Being a bartender, I had a huge wad of dollar bills from cash tips. As I was counting them at the register, I looked at the cashier and joked, "You probably think I'm a stripper or something." He looked me up and down and said, "Uh... hell no." FML
Today, my friends took me to a strip club for my 25th birthday. I went onstage with 5 dollars in my mouth to tip the dancer. She then took off my belt and pants and spanked me 25 times with the buckle end of the belt. I paid a stripper 5 dollars to whoop my ass. FML
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Top comments
Kayokku 1
That's the best kind of $50.
Grimmerie 31
lesbians exist.
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Comments (343)
dubstep87 0
Quit being a puss
schaflava 0
I once got a 'face dance' from a stripper. Even tomato sauce doesn't get that stank out.
not_cool808 16
enjoyed it? xD
j4ym4n 2
Gay.
daydreamer244 13
should've used gloves
kibe4 0
hi
hellokimmiee 5
YDI for answering yes.
Zero22120 12
It's her job.... She has to say yes
sunworshiper 10
OP is from Canada and the smallest bill is a 5.. So I don't know why she would even have to ask to pay with fives..
crushedone 7
Just try not to think about the perv who tucked them in there and where his hands have been.
MiaLoves 8
yes. the op is a women dumbass.
duckman9 55
Internet Rule 29: In the internet all the girls are men and all kids are undercover FBI agents. Internet Rule 30: There are no girls on the internet. Just to name 2 reasons why your post is absolutely impossible and makes no sense whatsoever.
justalilrandom2 4
Also adding to the impossibility of your post, OP is a single person therefore can not be women. She can be a woman though.
Feverrotes 15
FYI - FML doesn't display the username of the OP, let alone their gender or location, on the mobile version. Some of us don't have time to go to a PC to check FML in and out and do it via phone so think before you automatically jump to the conclusion that people stating the possibility of the OP being a male are not paying attention.
MiaLoves 8
oops. I feel awful. sorry!
slinka 0
my mobile (app) has it at the top, in the right hand corner. maybe it's different for different devices?
slinka 0
my mobile (app) has it at the top, in the right hand corner. maybe it's different for different devices?
lopezoliviajane 12
Yeah I have the mobile app and it just shows a little male or female symbol in the corner after I click on it.
lopezoliviajane 12
But only on some of the fml's
schaflava 0
So many people had their feelings hurt by your comment. You should be ashamed of yourself. Strike 1 chica
ERMOM91 0
@41 my moblie phone DOES display the gender....guess you have an outdated phone or you don't know what the little blue and pink symbols are for
xleanne_aLly 23
ChePow, female.
schmelia 10
My app has always shown the username, locations & gender of OP (assuming the info was provided in the first place)... Maybe you just haven't found it yet, Feverrotes? Maybe it's different on different devices, but I imagine if they can do it on one, they can probably do it on all of them.
Feverrotes 15
Ehh, that info doesn't show up on mine. I get the options for retweet and the FB like on the FMLs but no such info. I'm using Samsung Fascinate so maybe it only appears on iPhones? I get everyone's point, but the bottom line still is, just don't assume everyone can see that info.
Ferretface 13
Yeah it does.
muffinkitty 15
I'm on my iPod, and I see it just fine...
AgentSmith79 9
Hold them up to your nose and take a good sniff!! Mystery solved!!
cowgirl69 2
Haha gross
TrinityisLife 22
And just HOW does the OP know that customer was a stripper? Been creeping to the nudie bars, OP? :P
johnnyryall 3
My guess is that those posters might have had her on it...
MiaLoves 8
ill harras your cave of wonders with my magical lamp. VAGINAAA. lol.(: and FYL OP.
MiaLoves 8
*destery quote for those who don't know*
lmao_wow10 3
i love Des and Nate (: