Today, a stripper came into my work to get some posters copied. She asked if she could pay in small bills. I just touched $50 that have probably rubbed up against a stripper's twat. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the bank to deposit the cash I made waiting tables. While the teller was counting, I apologized for having so many small bills. She said "It's OK honey, I helped another one of your kind just the other day. You're lucky we take your dirty money." She thought I was a stripper. FML
Today, I went to the bank to deposit the cash I made waiting tables. While the teller was counting, I apologized for having so many small bills and she said "It's OK honey, I helped another one of your kind just the other day. You're lucky we take your dirty money." She thought I was a stripper. FML
Today, I was at the strip club. I put my dollar on the stage. When the stripper came over to take it, she stood me up and flipped my tits and said I had bigger ones than her. I'm a guy. FML
Today, my girlfriend hated the idea of sex so much she was willing to give me money for a stripper. FML
Today, my cousin and his fiancée took me to my first strip club experience. One of the strippers came over and danced for me. She pulled her thong string out and I tried to place the dollar in it with my mouth. I missed, to which she said "Put it in there, retard." FML
Today, I won $200 a contest at a bar. The manager took me to a vault where money collected from the strippers go into a pool. He told me that at least half of the bills were slid through a strippers butt crack so I was to "choose wisely". FML
Today, I was running the register at my work and this big lady pulls her wad of cash out of her bra and hands it to me. The bills she handed me were moist. FML
Today, a lady came into my workplace to pay her $120 bill in one dollar bills. I kept losing count. FML
Today, I went grocery shopping. Being a bartender, I had a huge wad of dollar bills from cash tips. As I was counting them at the register, I looked at the cashier and joked, "You probably think I'm a stripper or something." He looked me up and down and said, "Uh... hell no." FML
Today, my friends took me to a strip club for my 25th birthday. I went onstage with 5 dollars in my mouth to tip the dancer. She then took off my belt and pants and spanked me 25 times with the buckle end of the belt. I paid a stripper 5 dollars to whoop my ass. FML
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Top comments
Kayokku 1
That's the best kind of $50.
Grimmerie 31
lesbians exist.
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Comments (343)
TodaySuxx 7
$50 is a small bill? Rich ass strippers these days. >.
Zero22120 12
Small bills that equal $50, not a $50 bill
smydiwannafthata 5
Isn't that what all dollar bills are? You just experienced it first hand instead of 3rd or 4th.
lollipop77_fml 6
,Okay so you know who it came from; but what do you know about the perv that put it there? - ugh!
gigglingalways 6
You live in Canada - the smallest bill we have is a 5. So there was at most ten bills. Do you have any idea where 95% of the bills you touch have been. Don't be such a whiner.
Blamco177 0
Dollar bill, dollar bill, herpes, dollar bill, crabs....
ReverendSuri13 0
She said $50 in small bills not small $50 bills
buffblondie 14
twat? what are you 5? its a pussy!
schmelia 10
Well, actually, it's a ******.
fakeaccountX 6
Very similar to what happened to my friend's hat last week...
jamieisreallymad 0
A twat is a pregnant goldfish. Not a ******.
BitchesBeHatin 1
So a blind man walks into a fish market and says " Good morning ladies!"