Today, my boyfriend got angry and threatened to dump me, all because I wouldn't give in to his demands not to go to a birthday sleepover with my friends. He seriously thinks it's going to turn into some kind of lesbian orgy and that I'll cheat on him. Thanks, PornHub. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I suspected something was up when my boyfriend snuck out of bed after he thought I fell asleep. I caught him jerking to porn in the living room and got really upset. He actually got mad, saying, "I have needs and you never put out and get bitchy when I try." FML
Today, as it's my birthday, I was hoping for a nice present from my boyfriend. What did he get me? A PornHub account. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that the only reason he likes me is because I let him watch porn without throwing a fuss. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend would rather jerk off to porn than to ever touch me, even if I wear a naughty outfit. FML
Today, my boyfriend threatened to break up with me if I don't satisfy his "needs." By "needs", he means me wearing a diaper during foreplay. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend drunkenly pissing out the window. Apparently, I should be happy he pissed out the window instead of just wetting the bed. When I suggested he drink less, he got furious and yelled that I might be a lesbian, since I apparently want him to be a "pansy girly bitch boy." FML
Today, I tried coming on to my fiancé. He just pushed me off and got out of bed, saying he wasn't in the mood. A half hour later, I caught him jerking off to several windows of porn. FML
Today, my extremely paranoid boyfriend called me a whore and threatened to break up with me, all because he had a dream in which I had sex with my ex. I'm still a virgin. FML
Today, my boyfriend bitched me out for being too controlling. Apparently, not only am I being unreasonable by not wanting him visiting strip clubs with his friends, I'm also just "looking for excuses to get mad" at him. FML
Today, my husband demanded I delete all my male friends/contacts except family members. All this because I texted one of my male friends, “Happy Birthday! Hope you have a good one.” According to him, “One thing leads to another then next thing you know you both are in bed fucking like rabbits.” FML
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Top comments
malkavian_mad 13
I would dump him.
jgriff79 23
He seen it on the Internet. It MUST be true!
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Comments (201)
xxtruelyblondexx 9
YOU should dump HIM. There is obviously a trust issue here.... so maybe you should reconsider.
MDNative 6
if i was afraid of it turning into that, i would try to go with you not tell you not to go
supercrazyelmo 8
Dump him if he doesn't trust you
missnuthin 10
sounds like for your birthday, you need a new boyfriend :/
bl7185 1
you should turn it into a lesbian orgy and post it on pornhub... then post the link here... just sayin.
thejimler 9
I like some lesbian **** myself, but even I know that girl sleepovers are just eating large amounts of takeaway in their pyjamas and watching Adam Sandler movies.
Elendil_fml 10
Wait... He's SUPPOSED to want that to happen. You need a boyfriend that conforms to section 8, paragraph G of the guy code. ("Thou shall always encourageth lesbian orgies!") fyl
thejimler 9
Guys don't want a lesbian, then she'd leave them for her new lover. They want a bisexual girlfriend/wife who brings lady-friends back for threesomes.
CasualCalvin 13
Insecurity in a relationship is pretty dumb..
skyeyez9 24
Enjoy your sleepover! I am now grown, have a family of my own and would love to have sleepovers again. But myself and my friends have parenthood, careers, household duties that get in the way of slumber parties now. :/
clackity 7
I fail to see the issue with the lesbian orgy... I encourage such behavior.