Intimacy: Dirty mind - FML

Dirty mind

By wow - 14/03/2013 15:43 - United States - Gilbert

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend got angry and threatened to dump me, all because I wouldn't give in to his demands not to go to a birthday sleepover with my friends. He seriously thinks it's going to turn into some kind of lesbian orgy and that I'll cheat on him. Thanks, PornHub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 390

You deserved it 7 199

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Same thing different taste

By Alycat - 08/07/2017 14:29

Spicy

Today, as it's my birthday, I was hoping for a nice present from my boyfriend. What did he get me? A PornHub account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 931

You deserved it 856

By serenti - 13/10/2011 21:30 - Sweden

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me that the only reason he likes me is because I let him watch porn without throwing a fuss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 150

You deserved it 7 026

Libido

By Jena - 05/08/2022 01:00 - United States - Portland

Spicy

Today, I found out that my boyfriend would rather jerk off to porn than to ever touch me, even if I wear a naughty outfit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 223

You deserved it 332

By honey, no boo-boo - 12/11/2014 17:55 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend threatened to break up with me if I don't satisfy his "needs." By "needs", he means me wearing a diaper during foreplay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 176

You deserved it 5 573

By Anonymous - 18/07/2013 19:01 - Netherlands - Herkenbosch

Spicy

Today, I tried coming on to my fiancé. He just pushed me off and got out of bed, saying he wasn't in the mood. A half hour later, I caught him jerking off to several windows of porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 466

You deserved it 6 666

By wronged - 08/07/2011 08:41 - Singapore

Spicy

Today, my extremely paranoid boyfriend called me a whore and threatened to break up with me, all because he had a dream in which I had sex with my ex. I'm still a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 558

You deserved it 7 873

By inlovewithstupid - 04/09/2011 16:40 - United States

Today, my boyfriend bitched me out for being too controlling. Apparently, not only am I being unreasonable by not wanting him visiting strip clubs with his friends, I'm also just "looking for excuses to get mad" at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 396

You deserved it 17 298

Unreasonable

By ImConfused - 29/05/2023 00:02

Spicy

Today, my husband demanded I delete all my male friends/contacts except family members. All this because I texted one of my male friends, “Happy Birthday! Hope you have a good one.” According to him, “One thing leads to another then next thing you know you both are in bed fucking like rabbits.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 445

You deserved it 283

So generous

By noway - 10/08/2011 17:47 - Singapore

Spicy

Today, I got into a fight with my boyfriend. The only thing he could think of to cheer me up was to give me "permission" to give him a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 153

You deserved it 7 102

Not sure that's how it works

By Julisna - 16/09/2021 20:00

Spicy

Today, after getting sick of my boyfriend pestering me for a threesome, I invited a male friend over. My boyfriend strongly declined, because, "Hell no, I ain’t gay." So this man expects me to be a lesbian, but him being gay is a problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 676

You deserved it 316

Next

Top comments

malkavian_mad 13

Thursday 14 March 2013 18:58

I would dump him.

jgriff79 23

Thursday 14 March 2013 19:00

He seen it on the Internet. It MUST be true!

Comments

terrorwatt 18

Friday 12 December 2014 17:23

tell him he's not allowed to go to any of his friends' houses because you're afraid he'll start having gay sex with his buddies.

LyricaSilvan 29

Saturday 21 February 2015 0:03

You kind of deserve it for dating a jealous idiot...

glitterhell 5

Thursday 14 December 2017 20:39

Break up with his dumb ass.

Keywords

Work Annoying Management Relatable Transportation Cars Weird Sex Love Kids Abuse Singing Miscellaneous Embarrassing Music Roommate Farts Health TV shows Dogs Animals AITA Sports Cheating Death Awkward Family Money Cute Doctor

The Top

Today, I learned that I do not possess the upper body, core, or leg strength to hold my girlfriend up during sex. I simultaneously collapsed and dropped her onto her coffee table. We are now both being treated at the hospital; her for glass wounds, me for a concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 352

You deserved it 31 574

Today, it was my uncle's funeral. As we were in the cars behind the hearse, I lost sight of it in traffic, ended up taking a wrong turn, and getting lost… As did half the cars behind me, who also didn’t know where the crematorium was, and just kept following me. We delayed the funeral quite a bit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 415

You deserved it 143

The Top

Today, after months of grueling hard work, I'd finally gained five pounds. Too bad I lost it all and then some, due to one good stomach flu. FML

I agree, your life sucks 693

You deserved it 94

Today, I finally got up the nerve to ask this really cute girl out I've had a crush on for over eight months. Turns out she isn't a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 447

You deserved it 127

Today, I went home for lunch. Upon opening the door, I smelled something horrid. My dog had opened his cage, eaten all the dog treats, and had diarrhea all over my bed and bedroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 684

You deserved it 295

Today, I took a nap in my car right after finishing up at work. I was woken up by a hobo sitting in the passenger seat, watching me sleep. Apparently, he'd managed to unlock the door with a wire hanger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 636

You deserved it 5 892

Today, at 2:30 in the morning, my brand new fish tank cracked and spilled ten gallons of water into my carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 279

You deserved it 240

Today, my dad gave my younger brother condoms and a pat on the back, even though he doesn't have a girlfriend. This is after called me a whore after he saw me kissing my long-term boyfriend last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 107

You deserved it 4 047