Today, my boyfriend got angry and threatened to dump me, all because I wouldn't give in to his demands not to go to a birthday sleepover with my friends. He seriously thinks it's going to turn into some kind of lesbian orgy and that I'll cheat on him. Thanks, PornHub. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I suspected something was up when my boyfriend snuck out of bed after he thought I fell asleep. I caught him jerking to porn in the living room and got really upset. He actually got mad, saying, "I have needs and you never put out and get bitchy when I try." FML
Today, as it's my birthday, I was hoping for a nice present from my boyfriend. What did he get me? A PornHub account. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that the only reason he likes me is because I let him watch porn without throwing a fuss. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend would rather jerk off to porn than to ever touch me, even if I wear a naughty outfit. FML
Today, my boyfriend threatened to break up with me if I don't satisfy his "needs." By "needs", he means me wearing a diaper during foreplay. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend drunkenly pissing out the window. Apparently, I should be happy he pissed out the window instead of just wetting the bed. When I suggested he drink less, he got furious and yelled that I might be a lesbian, since I apparently want him to be a "pansy girly bitch boy." FML
Today, I tried coming on to my fiancé. He just pushed me off and got out of bed, saying he wasn't in the mood. A half hour later, I caught him jerking off to several windows of porn. FML
Today, my extremely paranoid boyfriend called me a whore and threatened to break up with me, all because he had a dream in which I had sex with my ex. I'm still a virgin. FML
Today, my boyfriend bitched me out for being too controlling. Apparently, not only am I being unreasonable by not wanting him visiting strip clubs with his friends, I'm also just "looking for excuses to get mad" at him. FML
Today, my husband demanded I delete all my male friends/contacts except family members. All this because I texted one of my male friends, “Happy Birthday! Hope you have a good one.” According to him, “One thing leads to another then next thing you know you both are in bed fucking like rabbits.” FML
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Top comments
malkavian_mad 13
I would dump him.
jgriff79 23
He seen it on the Internet. It MUST be true!
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Comments (201)
BLACKSAGE 4
Im sorry but i kind of find this funny lol, your bf is still a dumbass though
lowshadows 21
why not just invite him to the sleepover?
razzledazzle21 23
She shouldn't feel like she has to do that. Looks like he needs to learn to give her some space and stop being so insecure.
akiahara 14
Because sausage doesn't go with sushi. It ruins the party.
nikhilambhorkar 24
Well he is a dumbass for sure!
alexafml 5
I guess he thinks one of your friends has *Janice Ian voice* A BIG, LESSSBIAN CRUSH ON YOU!!!!!
Dawnxxoo 11
i just love Mean Girls
Namenlos_fml 20
The silver lining in all this is that if he ever asks for a threesome, just insist you'd never, ever consider cheating on him, and leave it at that.
Spottedfeather 7
Unless you're under 12 years old, what are you doing having a sleepover ?
JaneChemi_fml 21
my boyfriend and I have sleep overs all the time. and not the sexual ones. we build forts, bake stuff, watch movies, the likes. its fun
rattusrattus 18
Sleepover: you get to hang out with your friends, stay as late as you like with no constraints on getting home, there's cake and sweets and video games... seriously, I still go to sleepovers with my friends and I'm in my early 20s. They're fun.
musiciangirl591 16
sleepovers, they are awesome! stay up late, watch scary movies, eat junk food, maybe sleep a little, i'm 20 and i still enjoy them :)
skyeyez9 24
Tell him you will dump him first, if he wont stop fapping to lesbos on **** hub and then confusing fantasy with reality.
mattorama 15
Birthday sleepover? What are you, 10?
anyoldnamewilldo 23
Your boyfriend is an immature, insecure idiot. If he can't trust you with girls I can only imagine how he is when you are around guys at work or school. Pretty soon he will be isolating you from everyone. Without trust, there is no relationship.
BlitzPKF 10
If you can't even have a sleepover imagine going on vacation...