By why... - 05/06/2012 17:21 - United States - East Orange

Today, my husband went nuts. He's quit his job and set out building an amateur bomb shelter in our backyard. According to him, there's "substantial evidence" that cannibalism is on the rise across the country, and that "it's gonna be like Resident Evil out there, babe." FML
I agree, your life sucks 33 031
You deserved it 3 536

Same thing different taste

Top comments

ohcoolstorybro 14

Because the cops shot the guy FIVE times before he went down, I'm guessing one of them was in the head.. Have you heard about the mother eating her baby, the dude eating his roommate, and there have been a few other ones out there too. I don't believe this is a "zombie pandemic" but some freaky shit is going on.


ohcoolstorybro 14

Only because he was high off his mind.

Llamacod 11

no, to be a "zombie" you have to be an animated corpse that eats the flesh of the living. the problem with your statement is the following: 1 a living person was eating the face if another.2 the face eater is now dead and not animated sooo no zombie

Because the cops shot the guy FIVE times before he went down, I'm guessing one of them was in the head.. Have you heard about the mother eating her baby, the dude eating his roommate, and there have been a few other ones out there too. I don't believe this is a "zombie pandemic" but some freaky shit is going on.

Or maybe the world is just ****** up period.

Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I do Beth salts And your face looks tast

Well, some of the stories are older, but the Miami case made them come up now. The lady eating her baby is from 2009.

bitter3ulogy 0

Miami, Montreal, Baltimore and there's somewhere else too! Montreal is the most ****** up one

17, I don't know if you intended that pun but omg I'm laughing so bad

How many people do drugs? And how often do you hear about face eating in public? Highly doubt drugs caused this

#71, how do you figure drugs weren't involved...? In the Miami incident, the tox report showed high enough levels of several lethal chemicals (in bath salts) to kill a horse. The guy had just been doin the shit so long he had built up a high tolerance & this last trip was a bad one.

littlecuntcats 6

66- the University of Florida has an emergency plan for a sudden zombie attack.

AsianCookie247 14

No, 56, it's: Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy.. But here's my bath salts, Your face looks tasty.

The man is intelligent... Not crazy

kevinn95 0

I dont mean to get all illuminati and free mason on everybody but ive read that one thing that they do is show people whats going to happen in the movies before it actually happens so there brain registers it and blah blah like before 9/11 there were a lotta movies where stuff like that happened.. Throughout the years they have shown lots of zombie and infections that seem like zombies in the media so i personally think this stuff could and most likely will get a lot crazier

*freemason And is this what people think these days? That movies are created by physics?

kevinn95 0

The idea of the government killing off a huge amount of people (or at least not saving then from something) has always been around so that they can better control the smaller population so who knows maybe im talking out of my ass or maybe 2012!!!!!!!! Hahaha

You're the OP's husband, aren't you? ******* idiots I have to share a planet with.

No no its: Hey, I just met you! And this is crazy! I'm from Miami! Your face looks tasty!

kevinn95 0

115- ok im an idiot or maybe ur just to ignorant to see whats happening i never said i was right i said i personally think and last time i checked i was aloud to speak my mind.. Either way you cant deny the existence of illuminati countless musicians and actors etc. have spoken about them and if u havent noticed the media now talks about nothing but bs its all about ratings and money now.. This story came out as cannibalism/zombies in the news because thats what gets attention how long did it take them to give us a warning about the drug?? The drug should of been the headline and everyone should be talking about it allover tv and radio to warn people since it changes people so much and causes people to act suicidal and basically crazy but the majority of population still probably have no idea it was because a drug

I don't disagree with you, #105, but I believe you meant psychics. Physics are absolutely involved in movie-making. :)

The guy had a virus that is highly contagious and makes you crave flesh he was not on bath salts. The guy who threw his intestines at the police on the other hand may have been doing the bath salts. Jesus people do your research and the wannabe **** star that killed his boyfriend ate him and ****** his dead body was just ****** in general and use to kill kittens and post it on the internet he was not a 'zombie' he was just a messed up psychopath who wanted to be famous. But the zombies are still taking over by the highly contagious virus that is now known.

kevinn95 0

105- psychics no, i meant it as they plan stuff and basically tell us before it happens so our minds can register it and our self conscious is already expecting it and where not aware of whats actually happening as it is happening because weve seen it so many times.. All i hafta say is they told us 9/11 was gunna happen and im sure it was people like u who didnt believe that either.. We are being told this is gunna happen and its beginning to happen and ur to ignorant to even realize

^All I hear is a conspiracy theorist who found his way to FML and spreads his bullshit and calls us ignorant, while never stating his sources, facts, or any factual information. Let me guess, you're also a 9/11 truther, anti-goverment tin-foil wacko.

kevinn95 0

Go onto youtube forget the videos that talk about what people think go to the actual interviews of famous people talking out against them and the think i said about the brain and all that stuff is a fact feel free to go read about it Just because u havent researched that stuff doesnt mean others havent.. Think about it tupac was one of the greatest but as soon as he started speaking out against illuminate what happened? He got murdered right away and the murderer was never found why?? If someone famous died like lil wayne they would have found the killer by now Listen to immortal technique an underground rapper he might enlighten u.. On top of what he raps about hes a lyrical genius that wont sell out which is why he has been kept underground unlike all the bs musicians nowadays.

You think being famous automatically makes these people right? Are you nuts? And for the record, I have researched this and a bunch of other conspiracy theories. Hell, I used to buy into that shit, but then I grew up and started using my brain and critical thinking. Maybe one day you will too.

LOL @kevinn95. "the end is near! The end is near!".... Bring on the apocalypse.. I can't wait to have to earn my existence and watch the weak go extinct. Prepare yourselves people..

koolkat27 13

132- just shutup now. We all know you're one of those crazy nutjob conspiracists, you don't have to make yourself look any more insane.

Hey op if your husband meets the "hello stranger" guy be sure to give me a call :)

kevinn95 - You really do give us (people who work in the media industry) more credit than we truly deserve. If I were to reverse your 9/11 argument - could I suggest that, perhaps, the terrorists got inspired by the films which talked about such stuff. Don't quote me on that. In fact, don't quote me on anything at all for it's bullshit.

105- really?! The government "plans" this stuff?! Like the government really planned out the 9/11 attack? What else? Did they plan the assassination of John F. Kennedy? Or the civil war? Or how about the titanic sinking? SHUT THE **** UP!!!! The government isn't going to purposely spread a virus that will kill millions, so get the **** out of here with your bullshit.

Yes u can b a Zombie if u r trippin off ur ass on bath salts. Well lets hope ur husbands face is super yummy oh and i would advise u not to go to Florida

Woah woah woah, what happened in baltimore?

styphon 5

Are people really this dumb ? At gun stores they label things as "zombie" killers and jack up the price and people buy it. There even is an expensive ammo that claims to be "approved for zombie killing".

-171 I agree with you on the whole I don't believe the government plans attacks and kills it own people. But i am sad to say it they did invent cancer and that's killed millions

the mother eating the child was 3 years ago, it just came back up on the internet because of all the zombie hype.

188 you can't just invent cancer. I had it when I was 4 it just happens. Animals get cancer to its life and a way of killing off people so the world doesn't over populate. Just like this new zombie disease it's just another way for earth to kill off people.

So when are the blue aliens showing up? Been a lot of them in the movies lately. I hear that they are teaming up with the wizards from hog warts to come anally probe you. What that's just your uncle... God damn conspiracy theorists need to have a media ban on them

Sorry for not keeping with the FML, but 188, I have three questions for you. 1. Why do you think that the government created cancer? 2. Do you know what cancer is, and I mean on a biological level? 3. What is your daily bathsalt intake?

beccaishereyay 11

Seriously people need to to their research of they're gonna make accusations and assumptions. Rudy Eugene was shot twice not 5 times. Toxicology reports are not finished yet so the statement that he was for sure on bath salts is false as is the statement that he had a virus. Yes, the police think he was on an LSD like bath salts at the time but won't know for sure until the reports are in. If you're gonna try to convince people that the apocalypse is upon us then at least get your facts straight! And unless the guy that got his face eaten goes insane and tries to eat people too, there's no way it's contagious and therefore is not spreadable and that makes all zombie statements false. Sorry to be the voice of reason to all you crazies.

Wow yall people are so ******* rude to someone for having their own opinion. Like honestly i dont even believe the zombie bullshit. If bath salts make you high and people still call you a zombie for hallucinating and shit? But yet other people get high off of other shit still hallucinate and so what does that make them? Im pretty sure everybody who gets high is not a zombie. And btw i dont believe in this zombie shit till i see real logical evidence that there are zombies. Please and thank you!

I think it's the bath salts. some guy killed his dog when he was on it. ..on the bright side, they finally found that cannibalistic gay **** star(:

bitter3ulogy 0

#183 a guy killed his room mate and ate his heart and part of his brains i think

brettcchoate 0

Omg this guy is a guinus im not even kidding

calilovergirl 4

Well if the current movies are for what's to come...well I'm looking forward to seeing capt America! Yum! Oh but wait, does that men in black are real too?? Omg and talking Lego pirates?? Get a grip.

He wasn't high on bath salts his body was the host of an unknown virus they named LQP-79 which shuts down the body's organs and makes the brain crave human flesh. 17 people have been effected by this virus and they have quarantined them. TL;DR: ***** going down

200- looking at the news cite it states he was "shot at least five times" and so do other official news cites.

dsbs 9

222- you're really gullible, aren't you?

LQP-79? Are you ******* serious? You'll believe anything you read with no sources, no references, no proof of any kind, nothing. Here, one of many debunkings, because ya'know, apparently the burden of proof's on the sane people these days:

wlddog 14

There is nothing wrong with Kevin thinking or preparing for an unexpected chain of events. I even at times wish the damn zombies would just hurry up and get their attack over with. (little joke) Joking aside, if everyone thought exactly the same as everyone else, not only would this be a boring world, but the first disaster to come along would wipe everyone out. Too many people live their lives with nothing saved up and nothing to show for all their hard work. If everyone put at least a little something something back for a rainny day the rainy day would not be so devastating.

Well You Just Have It All Figured Out Don't You? What are you basing this off? Bullshit from the Internet and Bigger Bullshit in Pop Music. What wouldn't they say to get noticed? What wouldn't any of you say to get noticed? ******* Conformists

Wow Kevin, you started a huge argument. Your so cool! When I grow up I wanna be an FML trolling jackass :D

ant1ion 12

Well if this zombie things true you won't grow up :P jk

^^these dudes need to calm down and lay off the bath salts... XD JK

I'm a conspiracy theorist to a degree, and even I find this zombie thing impossible and annoying that kids actually believe it. Even worse are the kids who think Left 4 Dead gave them actual zombie survival skills.

Yeah, it's called bath salts. Don't do drugs kids!

glad i have the zombie survival guide...

Look up bath salts and the TOXIC chemicals in it. It's a permeant high like cocaine and meth in one. U either end up in a coma cuz ur brain dead ( not enough cells to function) cuz of ur rapid heart rate at 196 hense of being naked its like a heart attack while u hallucinate or drop dead. It's called delirium for a reason. My a nurse piractoner.

venomousddog 19

No man you got it wrong black ops taught me how to survive, with skills like mytery box, death machine, barriers that rebuild without a hammer and I think you get the rest

#71: Yes. A lot of people do drugs. And how many of them do you hear about where the drugs literally eat the flesh of the user, all the way down to the bone, and people walk around looking like half-skeletons? That happens, too. Look up crocodile. Different drugs to different things. "Bath salts" makes you eat people, pot makes you eat snack food and taco bell, and crocodile eats you.

not to mention the Guy who cut open his stomach and threw his intestines at police officers

maebelline12 12

this is the longest string of replies I've ever read...and the content is kinda freaking me out;)

Actually, a "true zombie" is someone that has died & been reanimated by witch craft or black magic & is now under the control of a living person. They've only been adapted into the flesh eating monsters we know today within the last 40 years or so.

There was another one about a guy eating his dogs & part of his own face. What the **** is goin on in the world?! This is what I carry a gun.

They planned every single one of those. Especially the civil war. That's not even a secret!!!

YesyDidWhat 0

OMG he's one of those people who believe everything the media says-.- I'm so sorry for you OP.

If it turns out he's right, then OP's lucky! (Although I highly doubt it.)

YesyDidWhat 0

And if it turns out he's NOT, then OP is married to a moron.

I have not heard the in the media. Maybe he takes the onion too seriously.

AsianCookie247 14

3 - when a psychotic, flesh eating "person" one day comes and starts attacking and ripping your body apart, then maybe you'll start believing that some of the shit you're hearing is true. There may not be "zombies" but because of the horrible reactions and side effects this Bath Salts has, it can create a serious issue if more people continue to do it. There's already been multiple cases in a short time frame of similar things happening involving humans eating or viciously biting other humans.

There always has been this sort of news, just the Miami "zombie" made them more famous.

YesyDidWhat 0

93- stop crying bro, it was just a crazy guy on drugs-_____- Geez, you people act like you never heard of that before. There's been more then one case! That does not mean everyone else is going to go insane too!

YesyDidWhat 0

69- Yeah it's been all over the news, and he really is taking it way too serious.

AsianCookie247 14

166 - I know that but that was a good attempt at trying to educate someone. If you didn't notice, you also contradicted what you said. Yeah, it was "just a crazy guy on drugs", but there have been more similar cases from this same drug, like you so kindly pointed out. Which brings me back to my previous comment, it's obvious at this point that more and more people are taking this drug, biting/eating other human beings, and there's a chance it can become much bigger than just a few people being attacked. So hopefully you're not next, "Bro".

Hey he sounds as stupid as Jenna marbles

YesyDidWhat 0

K, thanks for the advice bro;)

Caldwell123 0

It's in the media. At least 4-5 times cannibalism has been happening.

He quit his job. There's not much playing in that. Should she quit hers too? Believing in a zombie apocalypse is one thing. It can be passed off as a quirk. But prepare for that in your spare time. OP, remind him that he won't have money to stock up on supplies now unless he works. If he doesn't act rationally within a set timeframe (my limit would be a month to get over it all), it may be time for counseling.

This T-virus is just what was made when Alex Mercer took a shit, and that piece of shit took a shit, and that piece of shit took a shit, and that piece of shit created its own Gentek, and the virus created by that Gentek took a shit. Thats what created the T-virus.

233 - Prototype's virus technically created mutants, not zombies. And I really hope OP's hubby isn't one of those people that thinks that his zombie paranoia/ zombie movie and game collection is going to help him survive if there were one to begin with.

Well, it creates mutants eventually like hunters and just regular evolved, but the infected civilians are really no different than zombies.

daddyluiigi 3
daddyluiigi 3

So if the zombies are coming am ready this is gonna be just like black ops

You can have your pussy black ops, I'm joining blackwatch.

deusbag 5

I'd buy that. You'll be thanking him when the world is being devoured one brain at a time.

You can never be to safe from apocalypse. 0.o

Yea man, keep selling that shit and it will be a zombie apocalypse

Its not legit bath salts he took. That was the streetname for the drug. It was LSD mixed with cleaning chemicals

Killuhk 8

I take a bath in those!!!! Aahhhhhhhh lol no wonder why it relaxes me so well ;)

koolkat27 13

There's been talk that he was actually mentally ill also, taking the LSD just added insult to injury.

It wasn't LSD, it was PCP. LSD doesn't make people go insane and eat faces.

Hey I just met you, and this is crazy..but here's my bathsalts your face is tasty :)))

Hiimhaileypotter 52

Don't **** with zombies, OP. Invest in some guns >:)

OhDearBetrayal 25

Wouldn't that be considered "******* with them" if you bought guns?

Hiimhaileypotter 52

Maybe I mis-worded. I meant "don't **** with them" like, "Don't underestimate them." It doesn't really make sense to me, now, the way I worded it. But that's what I meant and I hope it makes sense to everyone else now :P

Llamacod 11

no, buying guns would be no more ******* with zombies than would be buying guns be ******* with african big game animals. just buying a fun is not ******* with them, although strolling through your neighborhood shooting zombies would, indeed, be "******* with them"

OhDearBetrayal 25

25- Anyone reading the statement made would know that I was reading between the lines. He suggested buying the gun, why? To show off to his grandma? To threaten cops with it? No, to kill zombies. That's how he would be ******* with them.

Hiimhaileypotter 52

On a scale of 1 - 10 (1 being the dumbest), anyone who believes that this is the beginning of a zombie epidemic is a -1

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

The zombie apocalypse could be happening. Take my little mountain town for example. People here are lethargic, quick to bite your head off and have the intelligence of a potato. All that keeps them from being zombies is the beating heart.

Come on! Who told you that it must be an animated body without a heartbeat to be a "zombie"? That's just the Hollywood zombie. We can't know for sure that if a zombie apocalypse breaks out, it will be the Hollywood zombies looking for brains! Maybe the real zombies will be some disease making people insane, and how can we not know that they will go for your feet instead of brain? Think different! They might go for your heart, or just genitals... We can't know until it happens.

103, A few famous movies (I am legend, the crazies) were both about living zombies who were just people affected by a virus. I think your point should be about drugs, not disease. And one of the "zombies" in Maryland did eat his roomates heart and BRAIN, so in the unlikely situation of a zombie apocalypse, they may still go for the brains.

koolkat27 13

116- I may be wrong but I don't think they called them "zombies" in both those movies. I think they called the diseased killers "the infected".

I think I'm missing out on something. 103- Why not simply call them cannibals?

Dallasluver19 14

Divorce the physco or put him in a freak show

There is always that one person, who tells you to leave your family or quit your job, because of a minor problem. Bury the shit out of him.

Quitting your job to build forts because you think the world as you know is ending is not a minor problem. Jumping straight to divorce is harsh but the issue should be addressed seriously.

Dallasluver19 14