By zombieguyswife - 28/06/2012 23:44 - United States - Branson

Today, I found out that the only way I can convince my husband to start working out is by convincing him that we are training for when the "zombie outbreak" happens. FML
I agree, your life sucks 25 079
You deserved it 3 977

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Well, if it does me! I have loads of Ak-47s! Best damn assault rifle out there! :D

MagicGiraffe 12

Let's all act like we know something about guns because we play COD!


Well, if it does me! I have loads of Ak-47s! Best damn assault rifle out there! :D

It's funny how ready our generation is for a zombie attack.

I don't see what some extra muscle's supposed to do against a horde of brain hungry face eating undead.

Because 18, remember the first rule of Zombieland: Cardio. Not saying that her husband is a hideous fat beast, but point being is that it's always good to be in shape so you can have the energy.

Your AK has NOTHING on the American M16 x)

chillyCholo 5

What do you people know that I don't???

m4 has better accuracy but the ak is more reliable

I love everything about the AK-47, especially its bullets....the AK's bullet is like a bullet within a bullet within a bullet within a ballistic knife within a bullet x)

Oh yeah? M16's bullets are like missiles within a nuke within a bigger nuke all packed into a a metal cover. Deadly. Deadly and accurate.(:

MagicGiraffe 12

Let's all act like we know something about guns because we play COD!

Lol 37, in no way did I get any of this from COD (for me that is). I have an entire book based on guns :P

MagicGiraffe 12

There's always those nerds who just name off guns they see in video games. I wasn't pointing anyone out just preventing a flood of ignorant comments :)

Vash_41288 10

Personally I prefer the -ColtM4 commando, has great accuracy and fun to shoot.

heartgrenade1 5

23 - I agree but unfortunately the ak has us beat in terms of pure reliability. You take that thing through sand, water, mud, you name it and it simply wont ever jam. Might be more useful if an apocalyptic event were to occur. But yah in terms of accuracy and everything else the m16 kicks ass

flockz 19

i actually prefer my plasma cannon. it's more reliable than my blowdarts but i got an itchy trigger finger ya know?

55- Is that from 'Epic rap battles of history' ?

M-16's arent that great M-14s are american Ak's just better cartridge accuracy an versatility

Katanas are great too as an insurance policy in case your gun jams or you run out of ammo. Just make sure and get a really good one that's hand forged from 1095 high carbon steel. And if the zombie apocalypse doesn't happen, you've got a nice decoration/defense in the event of a break-in.

Give me a scoped .22 and a roof, all you guys can spray and pray while I pick em off. Baustigt... You can get my back with your boomerang.

79- I don't want to but If I have to, I'll pull out a tube and blast that shack to pieces.(:

Blaqkeyeliner 6

Thank you all for making me feel safe. :) lol

81- how could you endanger two such fine gentlemen like that?? We're just trying to get by in this mad world.

I'll just go Madea on the Zombie and put my hand on my purse ... Call da po po :)

Holy shit it scares me what people think they know about guns. you can't get decent accuracy with a .22 at 100 yards, it would be like 1.5 diameter and a half foot of drop. I'm curious, I forgot which show it was but they were showin all these new guns like the cornershot and stuff. They had one rifle it was I believe an m4 but they tweaked and upgraded it so that it would shoot and not jam under any cercumstance. They put it in dirt, mud, water maybe sand I think. That's my say, and btw if you talk about guns talk about safety also.

shift_love 13

I love my 7.62x39 ar15 it'll out perform an ak any day. But once magpuls Acr drops in price I may have to get one in 300 AAC. The ar's design is flawed in that yea it'll shoot great until all it's little pins and shit start breaking.

No automatic guns. One simple bullet through the brain can kill a zombie, so why waste the ammo?

If its one of those Made in Mexico AK47, then keep it yourself because those get overheated. We need either M4, M16, or Commando from Call of Duty Black Ops.

112- personally, I wouldn't be shooting a hundred yards out to take a pot shot at a zombie and 1. Waste ammo 2. Attract others. When they get into 50 yards and can smell me, that's when they get a dirt nap.

crazykid300 6

Id go with ar just because will smith used it in i am legend

heartgrenade1 5

79 - you really think shooting a zombie horde one by one would be more efficient than spraying and praying? I disagree. When you have tightly packed targets like that I would think that the more lead you can get flying at them in the shortest time possible the better. Hell I'd take a minigun if I could get my hands on one.

112 - That would probably be the hk416. Basically an AR15 with a modded upper receiver using (I think) the gas piston system from the g36.

125 - I doubt a .22 will do a lot of damage against something undead...

shift_love 13

^ Yea...I was kinda wondering about that statement. Much less from a distance and on a roof top. Better shooting something with some real stopping power.

tjv3 10

What do you mean if it happens ? It is happening. Don't you watch the news?

bladedrose 3

Well I can hit a silver dollar at 100 yards with my .22, and and ice cream bucket at 200. Yes drop comes into play a bit, but it's easy to sight in for.

bladedrose 3

And as for the .22, it has the power to punch through one side of the skull but not the other causing it to bounce around and turn the brain to mush. Which is the most typical theory for killing the undead.

PenguinSwag47 0
shift_love 13

#159 supposedly you're right. But supposedly the 22lr won't penetrate the front of the skull at range. Only sides and back. The mob supposedly uses it for executions. But it's point blank at the back of the head. But these are a lot of supposedly. And I assume you don't have first hand knowledge.

galacticstorm 6

79 and 74,ill be on the roof with uncle and my dad just bought rifles,my dad's is a 9mm(well that's what he said,I'm not a gun expert...and yes what I know from guns is from cod and bf but I do my research on the guns I like haha) and my uncle's rifle is a .247 (or. 245,I'll have to verify) with a bull barrel.both guns have Bushnell scopes oh and my grandpa just bought himself a revolver so I think we're set,not to mention my sharpened ninjato sword I keep in my closet and the fact that zombie games and movies are my life...not literally of course but...well you get the point...I rambled.

The ak is the most reliable gun out there but if you want a gun for the apocalypse it should be a something quick to reload and with a lot of bullets

Personally I prefer my Dad's SKS it has good range, semi-auto rate of fire, good stopping power, and it can be used as a club if all goes wrong

The_Moustache 6

Holy shit that's a lot of gun speak

Well... I have my baseball bat... it doesn't really shoot bullets though...

gracevet88 0

Should we not be worried about how many guns this guy has?

ashtay01 5

THANK YOU!!!!!!! I HATE people like that. My old friend thought he knew everything because he could trick shot on COD MW2!! He got so annoying because I said I was joining the military and he kept saying shit that he thought he knew but he is a complete ******* retard!!!! I fought him because I couldn't take it!!!

ashtay01 5

122. The commando is not the real name of the gun. It is the colt made M4. Another reason why COD is making people think hey know everything... People likes that piss me off!!! I do know everything about firearms from the first firearms in Japan to the current Miniguns of the US. Any questions... Just ask :)

Firstly, you want accuracy and reliability, secondly, I doubt any of you cod fanboys own any or could obtain any of these weapons after z day, thirdly, the Could pierce a zombies skull within 50 with a few variables, and finally you cant stay holed up on your roof indefinitely, you need supplies. Regarding your gun choices, and the terms you use, I suspect a thorough lack of knowledge on how to operate and properly maintain a firearm. Do us all a favor and when z day hits, put one right in your head, if you know where that is.

That Is centered towards people like 168, i.e. Idiots.

Not implying that I know anything about guns and/or weapons, but what about a crossbow? It would make less noise (I'm assuming). Although reloading would be more difficult...correct me of I'm wrong.

drayloon 50

dont forget to play left 4 dead 2

G0v3nat0r 7

Dead island Is more realistic. Do you think EVERYONE will have guns to use?

8 - you got a point, I love dead island, and if there were a real apocalypse, we'd probably use melee weapons AND guns. :P

Have you never seen the movie zombie dance? The football coach has all the guns.

I love left for dead 1&2! I play them all the time!

I love them too. The only think I don't like is Louis and his stupid one trouser leg rolled up.

Yes, because a poorly designed video game equals a legitimate survival training course? The L4D players would be the first ones eaten out of false confidence alone. And no one even mentioned an actual survival horror game, L4D and Dead Island have endless ammo pickups and underpowered enemies. Play something like Siren or the old Resident Evil games (1-3) if you want to really test survival skills.

biglittlehead 12

Minecraft is the best survival game!

Try the DayZ mod for ArmA II, a zombie apocalypse simulation that will have you figuring out if you have what it takes to survive!

TheVelocirabbit 10

People, you have it all wrong. It's clearly "Attack of the Zombie Turtles".

galacticstorm 6

dead rising might seem like a better training choice because you don't always have a gun,you have to rely on your surroundings and miscellaneous items like a golf club or a coat hanger,hangin' coats since idea what that has to do with anything.

My brother in law works at Scheels and he said people come in there often to buy guns and crossbows for when "the zombies attack"

i dont see the problem. you've conviced him to workout.

Oh well. Whatever it takes to get off the couch I guess...

Gotta look toned and sexy to make a good impression on those zombies, eh?

Agreed. OP, I suggest buying the app Zombies, Run! I love it. It's an app for runners/joggers that you listen to that simulates a zombie apocalypse.

queen_awks 16

It's a perfectly legitimate reason. We have to be prepared for these things!

I know! We only have 5 1/2 months left till it happens. Best put on your game face

RoseTintMyWorld 8

Get a boat. Zombies can't swim miles out into the ocean. Hopefully.

22cute 17

Whatever it takes, right? If it works it's good!

A100893 30

Her husband is just preparing for the inevitable. You'll be sorry when the zombies come for you. And OP, it worked. Just be happy that he's doing exactly what you wanted.

Oh wait I'm sorry clearly I'm mistaken. Her husband is obviously a genius with a Nobel prize for Zombie Survival in his future...

129 - I don't like mean sarcastic B*tches and you definitely are one of them.

Um I don't care. Seriously though I was making a pretty valid point..

bladedrose 3

Do see the point but if you say so, seemed more like you were just being a bitch, lol

I am using this person's comment so OP might see it, but bare with me. To get him exercising more, there is an app called 'Run, Zombies!' that costs like 2$ or something on the app store. It's simulates you're being told about where to run in a story based style of dialogue. You pick up items and what not and your home is your headquarters. It might be a good little investment for better health. And it'll be better since he is a zombie fan. Now you can choose to thumb me down or not.

Beat you to it, and it's $8. -cough-

Do the stories change or is it always the same?

Shit I wish that was enough motivation for me.

Omg, is he seriously thinking that will really happen? Live in video game world or what?? Lol

*raises hand* Excuse me, but I have a question. What the **** did I just read?

46 - A peice of literature from the ancient people who speak "Dumb".

Because Canadians are apparently immune to all disasters.

Hey don't bring citizenship into this, just because one says it will never happen, doesn't mean the rest of us aren't preparing for the outbreak. Stocking up my igloo with sharpened icicles as we speak ;)

sporty1200xlr 6

Your name is babe, are you named after the pig in "Babe Pig In The City"?

Is that the best you could come up with? Pretty sad!! No Asswipe, it's what my parents have called me,my entire life.I know one thing tho, I'm more beautiful inside than you will ever hope to be... As I've never in my life said anything rude,mean or hurtful to anyone!!!! But if you have to be a ******* asshole douche bag & wreck someone's day to try & make urself feel good, how pathetic & sad your life must be!!!! Hope it gets better for you soon!!!