Cocobananas

By why... - 05/06/2012 17:21 - United States - East Orange

Today, my husband went nuts. He's quit his job and set out building an amateur bomb shelter in our backyard. According to him, there's "substantial evidence" that cannibalism is on the rise across the country, and that "it's gonna be like Resident Evil out there, babe." FML
I agree, your life sucks 33 028
You deserved it 3 536

Same thing different taste

Top comments

ohcoolstorybro 14

Because the cops shot the guy FIVE times before he went down, I'm guessing one of them was in the head.. Have you heard about the mother eating her baby, the dude eating his roommate, and there have been a few other ones out there too. I don't believe this is a "zombie pandemic" but some freaky shit is going on.

Comments

Better to invest in a bomb shelter than facial reconstruction surgery...

The bomb shelter won't help you. If he's legit concerned about this, he should be stocking up on canned/non-perishable food, buying guns and ammo, and getting a large truck (and fulling the boot/back seat with spare petrol). js

haycassidy 7

You'll be one of the few who have a fighting chance at surviving the approaching apocalypse, you're prepared. Kudos.

I agree. I already have supplies for any disaster. Zombies, end of the world, riots, hurricanes...etc. never hurts to be prepared.

AsianCookie247 14

13 - I'm definitely heading your way if the zombie attack begins!

He can't do any of that because he hasn't got a job. I'm a huge believer in being prepared for emergencies but why did he have to quit his job? I don't know if people honestly believe in the zombie thing or if it's a huge meme but this is no different from the idiots who quit their jobs because Camping said The Rapture was coming. Regardless of what you think the future might bring, you have to get through the present first. Prepare for whatever you like but stop putting life on hold.

stevenJB 25

It's almost impossible to hoard gasoline. I forgot what it is but something inside the gasoline starts to break it down after about close to a year. Rendering it almost useless. Of course you can just keep replacing it after a few weeks or months. XD

165, You are wrong. Gasoline only breaks down if in a container that is not sealed properly and or not completely full. Fuel in the winter has added butanes and other flammable gasses to keep vapor pressure the same as gas In the summer. Do some research before saying anything that you obviously know nothing about.

Better bet, change your furnace to heating oil (non taxed diesel) put a 1000 gallon tank or two in the ground and fill em up! Know the location of your closest seller so you can nab a heating oil truck when it breaks loose. 2000 gallons will last 4-8 years depending on house size. Also get a diesel ride, interchangeable fuels and tq is better than hp in a event like zombies. Diesel lasts....

Not to mention that if you live in the continental US there aren't very many places that'll be radiation free once the power plants don't have water, and other coolant to keep the temperature down anymore.

I live in Miami, and after the man ate the homeless man face, my next door neighbor is convinced that it's contagious and is looking to move to another state ASAP.

YesyDidWhat 0

I live in Miami also, it's crazy everyone is convinced this is some kind of virus or zombie apocalypse-.-

Llamacod 11

umm... if its contagious then moving to another state wouldn't help, it would just delay the inevitable.

Delay the inevitable continuously and you technically evade the inevitable?

In Florida, you can gun down people without fear of arrest unless they've been abusing you. Snakes have devoured the small and furry population. People are eating other people. I'd be looking to leave the state, too. Everytime I hear a crazy news story, it involves Florida. The heat and humidity must get to people after a while.

The zombies are coming with all this eating people cases coming up its over

Keattles 14

At least he still loves you?

Don't eat bath salts everyone. You'll turn into a zombie.

Llamacod 11

I think you're supposed to smoke or sniff them, I don't think eating them does much

Well, I wouldn't know. I never heard of them until I heard of the naked face-eating guy, who apparently was on them.

Riverlovestacos 0
perdix 29

Damn! Someone leaked the plan! Well, you'd better gather up recipes for brainz before the World Government shuts down the Internet and sends the black helicopters out hunting. They'll be gathering fresh human meat for the One-Percenters to eat until the world ends on Dec. 21!

Recipe for brains: sex to make babies. Babies have fresh brains.

Just like the world ended twice last year? I suppose we were left behind by Jebus?

Llamacod 11

I'm a resident people, aren't you?

dellis44 7

Mid-life crisis? It's okay OP, within a few months he'll return to his normal conformist self :)

You can never....never be to prepared for a zombie apocalypse!!!