Today, I had to escort some dumbass teenager from Home Depot after I found him masturbating in one of the model washrooms. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at college, I walked in on some kid jerking off in front of the bathroom sink. This place never ceases to amaze and disgust me. FML
Today, at work, the security threw out an old man in his 80s who had been caught masturbating while hiding in the ladies' changing room. I thought it was funny until my manager told me to clean up that very same changing room with the old man spunk all over the wall and floor. FML
Today, in a hardware store, I had to physically restrain my senile grandpa from trying to take a crap in one of the display toilets. FML
Today, I caught my coworker masturbating in the bathroom. This was during her shift, while I was mopping the bathroom floors. FML
Today, while on the job as a cop, I was breaking up a loud house party. We were just doing one final check of the house, we walked into the bathroom to find a kid furiously wanking in the bath. This isn't the first time I've seen something like this. FML
Today, I walked in on the 13 year-old boy I babysit masturbating while sniffing my jacket. FML
Today, I experienced one of those moments in life you never forget. I walked into a homeless man masturbating in a parking garage stairwell. FML
Today, the mentally-challenged teen who sometimes comes into my restaurant gave me a hug as usual. I thought it was sweet, until a coworker let me know he immediately goes and jacks off in the bathroom after. FML
Today, I was in the restroom at work, snickering at some funny stories on my phone while I took a dump. Little did I know that the asshole in the next stall would report me to our boss, claiming he'd heard weird noises, then looked over the divider and witnessed me jacking off to porn. FML
Today, I had to put one of my preschool students in timeout for masturbating during nap time. FML
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Top comments
ILoveEggnog 7
I always do it in the model kitchens.
techweed 12
They may be a lot of no smoking signs, but there ain't no no masturbating signs. Happy Fingers!!!
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Comments (179)
Mforce 8
Stoner.
Dallasluver19 14
No one masturbates anymore
Mortoli 30
Lol I've worked security for a Home Depot they suck man not only did I mess up completely but they also had no seats for us to sit in. In fact I was stupid and walked two hours in a giant circle trying to watch everything going on around. I just know I am never working in a store or public place like that again unless I know nobody supposed to be there....
Mortoli 30
The funniest part with me working there was one of the managers started to say I would never and stopped right there... I know what she was saying my reply... I know. I'm never working there again lol funny thing is as many complaints I got my boss called me that next week saying they loved me and wanted me back. I said no...
FlightofAcidFox 18
I guess he felt to need some much needed privacy. Which he could have had in his own bathroom, but has an invasive or over bearing family memebers.. maybe. Still that sucks to deal with something of that nature. lol