Intimacy: Caught - FML

Caught

By Anonymous - 14/10/2011 16:30 - Reserved

Spicy

Today, I had to escort some dumbass teenager from Home Depot after I found him masturbating in one of the model washrooms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 591

You deserved it 3 406

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 05/12/2015 03:55 - United States - Portland

Today, at college, I walked in on some kid jerking off in front of the bathroom sink. This place never ceases to amaze and disgust me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 359

You deserved it 1 711

Not funny anymore

By Anonymous - 29/11/2019 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today at work, the security threw out an old man in his 80s that had been caught masturbating while hiding in the ladies changing room. I thought it was funny until my manager told me to clean up that very same changing room with the old man spunk all over the wall and floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 236

You deserved it 1 836

By Anonymous - 06/09/2016 13:36 - Estonia - Tartu

Today, at the hardware store, I had to physically restrain my senile grandpa from trying to take a crap in one of the display toilets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 396

You deserved it 971

By OhGodWhy - 29/12/2016 23:30 - United States - Indianapolis

Spicy

Today, I caught my coworker masturbating in the bathroom. This was during her shift, while I was mopping the bathroom floors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 739

You deserved it 874

By iwantaraise - 14/10/2015 01:55 - Australia

Spicy

Today, while on the job as a cop, I was breaking up a loud house party. We were just doing one final check of the house, we walked into the bathroom to find a kid furiously wanking in the bath. This isn't the first time I've seen something like this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 355

You deserved it 3 070

By Anonymous - 23/12/2015 03:19 - United States - Roanoke

Spicy

Today, I walked in on the 13 year-old boy I babysit masturbating while sniffing my jacket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 309

You deserved it 2 504

Oh, hai Mark!

By scarredforlife - 12/02/2016 09:00 - New Zealand - Palmerston North

Spicy

Today, I experienced one of those moments in life you never forget. I walked into a homeless man masturbating in a parking garage stairwell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 380

You deserved it 1 830

By sadfantasy - 31/03/2016 06:00 - Canada - Toronto

Spicy

Today, the mentally-challenged teen who sometimes comes into my restaurant gave me a hug as usual. I thought it was sweet, until a coworker let me know he immediately goes and jacks off in the bathroom after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 994

You deserved it 1 633

Wanker

By fired - 09/08/2013 22:17

Spicy

Today, I was in the restroom at work, snickering at some funny stories on my phone while I took a dump. Little did I know that the asshole in the next stall would report me to our boss, claiming he'd heard weird noises, then looked over the divider and witnessed me jacking off to porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 230

You deserved it 7 477

By lindsaykay - 18/04/2012 00:07 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had to put one of my preschool students in timeout for masturbating during nap time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 151

You deserved it 4 116

Next

Top comments

ILoveEggnog 7

Friday 14 October 2011 21:27

I always do it in the model kitchens.

techweed 12

Friday 14 October 2011 21:27

They may be a lot of no smoking signs, but there ain't no no masturbating signs. Happy Fingers!!!

Comments

Mforce 8

Tuesday 28 February 2012 4:38

Stoner.

Dallasluver19 14

Wednesday 6 June 2012 13:35

No one masturbates anymore

Mortoli 30

Friday 28 March 2014 15:37

Lol I've worked security for a Home Depot they suck man not only did I mess up completely but they also had no seats for us to sit in. In fact I was stupid and walked two hours in a giant circle trying to watch everything going on around. I just know I am never working in a store or public place like that again unless I know nobody supposed to be there....

Mortoli 30

Friday 28 March 2014 15:43

The funniest part with me working there was one of the managers started to say I would never and stopped right there... I know what she was saying my reply... I know. I'm never working there again lol funny thing is as many complaints I got my boss called me that next week saying they loved me and wanted me back. I said no...

FlightofAcidFox 18

Monday 19 October 2015 5:08

I guess he felt to need some much needed privacy. Which he could have had in his own bathroom, but has an invasive or over bearing family memebers.. maybe. Still that sucks to deal with something of that nature. lol

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The Top

Today, our company got hacked. Our secretary fell for someone badly impersonating the head of customer service and sent them a full list of employee information from one of our new clients. The boss wants to blame us in IT for not training her on how to avoid this. He fell for a phishing attack last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 496

You deserved it 79

Today, I embarrassed myself and my husband at the wedding of one of his rich cousins by trying caviar for the first time, finding it unbearably disgusting, choking, spitting it out all over the table, and downing three glasses of water to stop myself coughing. Now they think I’m common as muck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 654

You deserved it 885

The Top

Today, I was snuggled in bed with my husband. He thought because my butt was twitching that I was trying to be frisky. So he slapped my ass hard in attempt to get something going. I was actually trying to hold in a huge fart because last night I had diarrhea. Apparently I still have it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 786

You deserved it 3 939

Today, I'm a waitress. A customer came in and acted very kindly and even mentioned how I was such a help to her. She also mentioned leaving a nice tip. The tip? A fake $20. Thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 651

You deserved it 1 191

Today, I asked my boss if I could take a vacation day for my birthday on Monday. She called to tell me yes, and then told me I'm getting laid off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 079

You deserved it 83

Today, I attended my husband's funeral and my son carried out the eulogy, which basically turned into a character assassination, ending with "and I hope Hell is hot enough for you, old man." Almost our entire family agreed with every word he said. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 814

You deserved it 554

Today, at work, I was standing around, doing nothing. When my coworker pointed this out, I laughed and said, "It's okay, I'm training for a supervisor position!" Guess who was standing right behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 938

You deserved it 18 754

Today, the guy I was seeing texted me a photo back of myself I had sent him earlier, saying I'm such a beautiful woman, suggesting that I set it as my profile pic. Too bad he doesn't think I'm pretty enough without a lot of enhancements, because he photoshopped the hell out of that thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 066

You deserved it 1 750