Today, I experienced one of those moments in life you never forget. I walked into a homeless man masturbating in a parking garage stairwell. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, in public, a homeless guy looked me in the eyes and started wanking. FML
Today, I was in a parking lot looking for a spot, and after driving around for a long while I finally found one. A homeless man was taking a shit on it. FML
Today, I witnessed a man masturbate into a public urinal, miss, fart, and then leave without washing his hands. FML
Today, I used a public toilet. After I did my business in the stall and walked out, I was confronted by the sight of a man standing on tip-toes, holding his penis up to the automatic hand-dryer. Doubt I'll get that image out of my head any time soon. FML
Today, I went into the women's bathroom and was warmly greeted by a man masturbating on one of the sinks. FML
Today, I walked in on a homeless guy peeing on a turd on the floor of the women's restroom at the park. I'm a janitor for the city. FML
Today, I walked out to the parking lot and caught a homeless man laying a fat steamer on the hood of my car. FML
Today, while in a public restroom, a man entered the stall next to me and began vigorously wanking. He finished quickly, but as he was leaving he peeped in at me through the crack in the stall door. FML
Today, I had to escort some dumbass teenager from Home Depot after I found him masturbating in one of the model washrooms. FML
Today, I took my son to a doctor’s appointment. As we were walking to the office, we saw a homeless man, stark naked, bathing in the decorative fountain. I hurried us inside but unfortunately my son got full view of well everything. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
NakuEh 27
Ever wish those memory wipers from Men in Black really existed?
kowsee 22
Brain bleach... Now
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (62)
kowsee 22
Brain bleach... Now
GTSharma 4
At least it's a moment to remember...
muchwow87 13
He just needed a hand.
NakuEh 27
Ever wish those memory wipers from Men in Black really existed?
Seabass_Chan 33
Maybe they do and you just forgot.
cybRuser 16
those have a name. Neuralyzers
hellnosucka 27
take out your eyeballs. marinate them in clorox for a few days. wash them thoroughly. let them dry in the sun. repeat process a couple of times before returning eyeballs to sockets.
PePziNL 20
Instructions unclear, got dick stuck in eye socket.
Timmip12 9
Lol it's been a while since I've seen one of these
dudeutookhrs 24
Those places are always full of surprises
M3DO 24
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Did you help him out?
onlychildFTW 34
Oh yeah I'm sure OP just dropped to his knees in excitement. It's not like he posted a **** My Life about it. Oh wait...
Warm_Apple_Pie 21
Maybe if the OP dropped to his knees, the homeless man wouldn't have been masturbating ;)
NickD6 14
That must be a sticky situation
COSaikou 7
LOL for OP, but not for the homeless guy...or for him...depends in how ya look at et
Publikwerks 14
Why don't people knock anymore?!?!
BlueBaronBitch 22
Why would he decide that would be the best place..
JustinJK 21
He's homeless lol. The world is his house.
BlueBaronBitch 22
I suppose.. there's just better places he can do that though..
tomvertigo 17
Do you diddle your flesh fiddle wherever you are in your home, #25? Or do you use restroom/bedroom? There are places he could go.
xx000o 27
For him it was the right place at the right time (assuming that he's right hand dominant) for her it was the wrong place at the right time.
mthurston 14
Lol @ "diddle your flesh fiddle"