Health: Candy Andy - FML

Candy Andy

By bad karma - 21/11/2011 14:34 - United States

Today, I was so hungry that I literally stole candy from a baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 632

You deserved it 46 227

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Same thing different taste

By Fatass - 18/04/2014 05:37 - United States - Knoxville

Today, I lied to the cashier at my local store, saying that I was "nominated to buy the candy for the party" when in actuality I went home and gorged on it alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 703

You deserved it 13 867

By BrokeAndHungry - 24/07/2016 17:05 - United States - Ann Arbor

Today, I was so ashamed of being broke that instead of asking my parents for money, I snuck into their house while they were at work to steal some of their food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 136

You deserved it 4 332

By Timmy - 26/01/2009 13:28 - France

Today, I got caught stealing lollies. I am 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 484

You deserved it 59 460

By love you too mommy - 27/01/2014 19:26 - United States - Brentwood

Today, my mom walked into my room to talk to me. I was surprised because we don't talk much. I was left with a smile on my face after she left, until I realized she'd stolen all the candy on my desk while I wasn't looking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 469

You deserved it 5 286

What ARE you doing?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, I was so tired at the pet store I was working at that I accidentally offered a kid a dog treat instead of their dog. He ate it. While his mom watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 350

You deserved it 1 523

By dannij08 - 14/01/2009 01:05 - United States

Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 429

You deserved it 43 455

Bigmouth strikes again

By Anonymous - 14/12/2022 18:00

Today, I was pretending to be a mom with my friends, and I was joking how I bought them candy and that it cost me an arm and a leg, only to realize that the cashier only had one arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 358

You deserved it 792

The sleepwalkers are at it again!

By sierra - 11/03/2021 02:02

Today, my mom told me she’d never forgive me for eating her birthday candy. I ate it in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 751

You deserved it 299

By ilovekids? - 12/12/2015 02:05 - United States - Commack

Today, while I was working at a supermarket, a kid started to cry in line because he couldn't get candy. Since we have free lollipops behind the desk, I gave him one. His mom complained to my manager and said I was grooming her child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 103

You deserved it 5 996

By nocat6 - 15/09/2014 03:07 - United States - Northville

Today, I caught a customer using his fat to shoplift gum out of a store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 152

You deserved it 3 061

Next

Top comments

TipOfTheHat 10

Monday 21 November 2011 18:50

It's an expression! Your not actually supposed to do that!

xxcreativedreame 5

Monday 21 November 2011 18:51

Wow. It takes a REAL loser to do that. Seriously.

Comments

Symmetry88 0

Monday 21 November 2011 18:58

Well that sure as hell wouldn't fill you up! Go apologize to the kid! Asshole

poppaof6 0

Monday 21 November 2011 18:58

Eh, that's why the expression was made. Because it's easy. They don't chase you, they can't tell on you, and if you wait long enough, thier parents will give them another piece of candy for you to steal.

ChaosAngel17 14

Monday 21 November 2011 18:59

There's not enough words to describe how much of a ass you are.

13FTW 9

Monday 21 November 2011 19:49

Sure there are! OP is a ******* cheap ass bitch. Explains it pretty well if I do say so myself.

sheethapins 13

Monday 21 November 2011 19:59

I got some! Douche Asshole Jerk Cheap ass Degenerate Slob Fatass Scum Moron Creep Loser Filth Waste of flesh Stupid Mean ass Worthless Cruel Consciousless Greedy Ingrate The list goes on and on...

samwhambam 3

Monday 21 November 2011 22:35

an* ass

My_Nightmare 19

Monday 21 November 2011 19:00

I'm pretty sure you're going to Hell. . .

tylersign 11

Monday 21 November 2011 19:00

What are you, the ******* Grinch?

wolves5657 4

Monday 21 November 2011 19:03

dude. seriously? you can get that hungry, yet somehow you have a way to access the Internet?

Joey44 15

Monday 21 November 2011 19:06

Stealing wi-fi from someone else's router? Or maybe OP is just really really ******* greedy.

ShroomsOnAcid 16

Tuesday 22 November 2011 0:40

Being starving doesn't mean you don't have friends who do have internet access to let you post the story later, or that you can't use the free computers in the library, or even that this didn't happen specifically TODAY, but rather in the past, when she might as well have not had internet access.

Liimitless 6

Monday 21 November 2011 19:03

Oh the irony.

MerkathonPro 0

Monday 21 November 2011 19:09

Sadly, that was the baby who lives next door in you apartment complex.

FaraPjJammaz 13

Monday 21 November 2011 19:09

Way to be a jerk!

chewyyy33 0

Monday 21 November 2011 19:09

Wow, asshole. FML should be coming from the baby's mouth.

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I agree, your life sucks 1 009

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