bad karma
United States
Candy Andy
Today, I was so hungry that I literally stole candy from a baby. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Fatass
Knoxville, United States
Today, I lied to the cashier at my local store, saying that I was "nominated to buy the candy for the party" when in actuality I went home and gorged on it alone. FML
BrokeAndHungry
Ann Arbor, United States
Today, I was so ashamed of being broke that instead of asking my parents for money, I snuck into their house while they were at work to steal some of their food. FML
Timmy
France
Today, I got caught stealing lollies. I am 25. FML
love you too mommy
Brentwood, United States
Today, my mom walked into my room to talk to me. I was surprised because we don't talk much. I was left with a smile on my face after she left, until I realized she'd stolen all the candy on my desk while I wasn't looking. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff
What ARE you doing?
Today, I was so tired at the pet store I was working at that I accidentally offered a kid a dog treat instead of their dog. He ate it. While his mom watched. FML
dannij08
United States
Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML
Anonymous
Bigmouth strikes again
Today, I was pretending to be a mom with my friends, and I was joking how I bought them candy and that it cost me an arm and a leg, only to realize that the cashier only had one arm. FML
sierra
The sleepwalkers are at it again!
Today, my mom told me she’d never forgive me for eating her birthday candy. I ate it in my sleep. FML
ilovekids?
Commack, United States
Today, while I was working at a supermarket, a kid started to cry in line because he couldn't get candy. Since we have free lollipops behind the desk, I gave him one. His mom complained to my manager and said I was grooming her child. FML
nocat6
This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff
Northville, United States
Sneaky
Today, I caught a customer using his fat to shoplift gum out of a store. FML
Top comments
TipOfTheHat 10
It's an expression! Your not actually supposed to do that!
xxcreativedreame 5
Wow. It takes a REAL loser to do that. Seriously.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (230)
DocBastard 40
You are such an asshole that you literally have a mouth with shit coming out of it.
CryMoreFMLs 15
You can't afford food, but you have a phone / computer? I understand times are tough, but you might want to give up your phone plan until you can afford it. (assuming, of course)
blade4080 7
Damn 99%ers.
GameOver008 1
Somebody call 911
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Ever heard of a library, 8?
TheDeadlyTurtle 7
What's a "library"? Is it where they bury the lies?
CryMoreFMLs 15
Libraries are places of satanic worship and evil secrets where people watch you from the other aisles and give you the chills.
Melvar_10 3
OP bust be a fat looser
XxDevilxXGt 26
Why all the hate? A baby will get over it and never remember :D but on the serious side.. You should probably think about welfare if you can't survive. And also, all of you haters, what would you do in some parts of africa if there was hardly any food to go around, would you steal from those who had plenty, or just die? I don't think you'd rather die than steal food, so don't bullshit about how you would never steal, everyone has the animal in them.
bulgeinmypants 0
Go die somewhere, OP. Just die.
HannahPaloozah 0
Dude , what's yalls problem ?? The baby was most likely hers, and she might of not been super poor like y'all are saying. she could have been somewhere where she didn't have any food and the baby will forget it in 2 minutes . As long as shes not doin that all the time, it's no big deal ! Don't get y'alls panties in a bunch over it ...
murdersquirrel 15
8 - Give up the phone plan for a $200 early termination fee?
Waggleton 0
Clearly she was trying to take the candy from the baby and give it a healthy snack to try to help prevent obesity duh
ImFrackinBored 13
Dick.
florido_fml 10
Everyone knows candy is bad for babies!
Damn_Hippster 11
And you didn't even consider eating your shoes first?? Everyone knows you eat your shoes before you even consider commiting such an evil crime as that!!
YayFlameWarz 9
81- Op is from Florida; I understand what you're trying to say but don't compare snatching an infants chocolate bar to a poverty stricken country.
tjv3 10
I hope Santa ***** in your chimney
angrymexican 8
Open your stockings
blackheart24 10
128- that happened to me once. ****** Santa.
JinxosGirl87 0
Shorty fire burnin on the dance floor, whoa!
cBlackout 13
Lol @55 who goes to a library to complain on FML?
Mister_Triangle 21
You keep using that word, "literally". I don't think you know what it means.
paschale 7
Why do you write in a Louisiana accent?
cheerluv15 0
You're a terrible person
Jdeluxh 12
How easy was it?
TipOfTheHat 10
It's an expression! Your not actually supposed to do that!
slick5880 22
The real question here should be obvious. How easy was it?
The_Troller 14
So easy a caveman can do it.
flockz 20
geico can save you 15% or more on car insurance.
explodingmuffint 0
You're*
grahambertus 11
Today, I was so hungry, I starved to death. FML. Sincerely, those in poverty. Get your priorities straight OP
brettlovesgirls 4
"And that's why yellow makes me sad, I think" "That's interesting.. You know what makes me sad? You do! Maybe we can jog on over to mambypambyland and MAYBE gain some self-confidence for ya, ya jackwagon!... Tissue?.. Crybaby.
xxcreativedreame 5
Wow. It takes a REAL loser to do that. Seriously.
Fruit_Dealer 9
Besides candy will make you more hungry.. You get a small high from sugar that boosts your metabolism and burns calories, leaving you with a bigger craving and an urge to drink.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
It also spikes your blood sugar, which in turn will cause it to drop just as quickly, leaving you shaky and craving more sweets.
NanillaVipples 2
I thumbed this up simply because you spelled loser right
mr_inkredible 0
You could have just stolen something from a store instead of a baby...
yunapolaris 2
Being caught is easier in a store than from a baby.
jessesgirl14 16
Op tried to steal a video game but got caught... So stealing from the baby was easier :/ (if I was the baby's mom- I would have punched op)
Zomg_Okay 27
No, if you were the baby's mom, you'd have made OP give back the candy and then yelled at the baby for not roaring at OP. ... ... I'll go back in my box now.
HannahPaloozah 0
The baby was probably hers
belkinbra 12
Shut the **** up 93, noone ******* likes you. Go back in your hole.
Gloritank 8
You sir, are scum.
bigbadtim 7
OP is a woman.
Gloritank 8
Either way. Not like she deserves to be referred to properly.
mohammadkm95 6
Dude. Ive been hearin ppl use scum all day wherreever i go today...word of the day i guess…
icyfire617 10
Damn hobos.....
jdude2913 0
number 9 I think I love youuuuuuuuur picture
littlericht 3
Gloretank looks like someone out of the film role models!!! Lmao!
lil_ham1644 29
#160 I think I hate youuuuuuuuuur comment
picklezz123 5
In a way, you were doing it a favour. Candy is bad for babies, you were saving it's health. Just tell yourself that (;
pyschokitty 0
Commently agree
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Hey, it's true. Babies are definitely not supposed to be eating candy anyway. That said, the way to go about "saving" the baby is definitely not supposed to be theft.
monnanon 14
Babies can eat candy, certain types of candy anyway. OP could be referring to a child as old as 6-9 months, at that age my son had had a few white chocolate buttons.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
66, They can, but it still doesn't mean they should.
iChel413 6
Everyone deserves some tasty treat every now and then. Gah.
slyace 9
Dude what the f**k?!? I hope that baby beat you with a rattle. YDI
brianjman14 23
The image you just put in my head is hilarious. xD
upsidedownfrownn 5
Nice profile pic. :)
mikeeg 0
The baby will some how win. I hope he/she keeps you up ALL night :)
screamo_neve 12
It's not her baby...
jarlaxle1138 3
You don't know it's not hers...
screamo_neve 12
Well she said from A baby, not MY baby.
Spinnmaster 1
Just wait till that baby grows older.. You better watch your back, mister.. That's all I have to say
bigbadtim 7
You are a bitch!!