bad karma
United States
Candy Andy
Today, I was so hungry that I literally stole candy from a baby. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Fatass
Knoxville, United States
Today, I lied to the cashier at my local store, saying that I was "nominated to buy the candy for the party" when in actuality I went home and gorged on it alone. FML
BrokeAndHungry
Ann Arbor, United States
Today, I was so ashamed of being broke that instead of asking my parents for money, I snuck into their house while they were at work to steal some of their food. FML
Timmy
France
Today, I got caught stealing lollies. I am 25. FML
love you too mommy
Brentwood, United States
Today, my mom walked into my room to talk to me. I was surprised because we don't talk much. I was left with a smile on my face after she left, until I realized she'd stolen all the candy on my desk while I wasn't looking. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff
What ARE you doing?
Today, I was so tired at the pet store I was working at that I accidentally offered a kid a dog treat instead of their dog. He ate it. While his mom watched. FML
dannij08
United States
Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML
Anonymous
Bigmouth strikes again
Today, I was pretending to be a mom with my friends, and I was joking how I bought them candy and that it cost me an arm and a leg, only to realize that the cashier only had one arm. FML
sierra
The sleepwalkers are at it again!
Today, my mom told me she’d never forgive me for eating her birthday candy. I ate it in my sleep. FML
ilovekids?
Commack, United States
Today, while I was working at a supermarket, a kid started to cry in line because he couldn't get candy. Since we have free lollipops behind the desk, I gave him one. His mom complained to my manager and said I was grooming her child. FML
nocat6
This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff
Northville, United States
Sneaky
Today, I caught a customer using his fat to shoplift gum out of a store. FML
Top comments
TipOfTheHat 10
It's an expression! Your not actually supposed to do that!
xxcreativedreame 5
Wow. It takes a REAL loser to do that. Seriously.
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Comments (230)
2amkid 0
wow really?
DankTurtle 0
You r one dumb idiotic sycopath who doesnt understand metaphors
ScrapperDoggie 4
"Im not a grammar nazi but itz hrd to reed wen u talk lik this" I find it's hilarious that you put that on your profile, yet you gave this comment cancer. Also, the word you are looking for is "cliche", not "metaphor". Perhaps you should stop making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in class and actually pay attention.
pottymouthpanda 0
you sir, are a horrible person -_- or you take things to literal poor baby :|
imjessicababy 0
Someone please explain to me how this is an fml moment idgi
jedielf 23
You, ma'am, are a MONSTER.
Sprezlaus 9
This isn't a FML, this is sadness to the max... Get a life and a diet...
NotDave 0
I don't see why people let FMLs like this through. They're obviously just trying to get down votes.
Kingrat3154 4
If you can afford Internet access to write this, you can afford a ******* sandwhich. You're just an ass hole.
AnimatedWolf 2
I find this quite funny really although that may be biased due to the fact that I dislike babies.
jakedrew 0
was it as easy as they say?