Today, while watching a man in front of me on the bus remove his cap to scratch his noggin, I noticed the swarm of dandruff that was about to nail me in my face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dandruff got so bad that when I sneezed on the bus, it created a "blizzard" of dandruff, covering me, and two others in it. I'm now known as "Winter Wonderland". FML
Today, I was on the bus during rush hour. A fly started buzzing around my head, and I swatted at it, at the exact moment the woman beside me decided to get out of her seat and put her face straight in the path of my hand. FML
Today, I was taking the bus to work, when a man sat down beside me. The guy was nuttier than Ron Jeremy's ballsack, and had a face like a shovel and the worst meth mouth I've ever seen. I had to sit there for ages while he frantically muttered to himself and picked at my hair. FML
Today, I was riding on the bus, when I felt a weird sensation on my hair. The person behind me was petting it. FML
Today, I rode the public bus. When I got off, I put my hood up only to discover that the old man who sat behind me had used my hood as a trashcan for his gum and used Kleenex. I can't get the gum out of my hair. FML
Today, I found out there is such a thing as eyebrow dandruff, and that I have it. FML
Today, my dandruff issue is so awful that even my eyebrows have dandruff. FML
Today, I was sitting on the bus on my commute to work, when I nodded off on the charming young man next to me. Something cold and wet touched me, and I looked down to see a small pool of my saliva collecting on my chest. The man thought this was hilarious. FML
Today, after seeing a cute girl on the bus, I tried to look cool by flipping my hair, only to smack the side of my head into the bus window. FML
Today, I was on the bus. I heard a click right before something small hit my cheek. I looked over to see the lady next to me cutting her long, dirty fingernails. The bus was too crowded to move and It was a 20 minute ride to work. FML
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Top comments
bigbadtim 7
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.
TheRealBrianGrif 7
Open wide?
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Comments (127)
TheRealBrianGrif 7
Open wide?
instnt1nfction 17
Tastes like chicken
BountyBass 13
Looks like crab
urdirtyolduncle 15
But it's actually dandruff!
AnonymousTroll 2
It's snowing early this year.
flockz 20
cloudy with a chance of scalp.
bulgeinmypants 0
Tastes like happy!
Waggleton 0
Make a snowman and name him dandy druff
DryHumor 4
74 - make a dandruff man and name him Mr. Dan Druff?
ImFrackinBored 13
Don't eat the white snow? *_*
CoteDePablo 0
True shit.
Naitsi 19
Taste like hamburger :P
21jason 9
Over the teath and threw the gums look out stomach Here it comes
bulgeinmypants 0
Tis the season.
RetardedChipmunk 7
89 is the perfect example of most punlic schooling...
mystifisvt 4
I eat dandruff for breakfast every morning. It's full of calcium, so they say.
KiddNYC1O 22
I love you, Brian. Huge fan.
blackheart24 10
Frosted flakes are more than good, They're grreat!!
Nutty4Muffs 3
What woods?
Dr_Jalepenos 0
111- I think it's more like first grade English.
frank678 7
lmfao.
bigbadtim 7
Still shufflin?
flockz 20
wiggle wiggle?
swimchica22 0
Sorry for party rockin'
robertlovespi 3
It's Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday. ...Oh wait... That doesn't sound right...
Manganimegrl 16
Now STOP! Hatin' is bad.
rabTAI 3
You should have given him some name of good brand anti dandruff shampoo :)
PeteyPablo12308 20
Head and shoulders?
iam_yummylicious 12
IMO T-Gel is better
77777771 12
Knees and toes?
dumboears 8
I admit, I giggled at 105's comment. But what I came here to say is that the anti-dandruff shampoo actually makes your scalp worse off. Irony. Maybe he's already been using it and that's why his head is so dandruff-y?
EpicPear 0
Celson Blue is the best.
alyssamarie03 0
Head & shoulders!!
ladylecter 0
just dead skin, no big deal.
adrayy 4
Sweet! I didn't know dandruff is alive nor that it travels in swarms.
slick5880 22
Hate to break it to you but that sounds more like lice.
Fruit_Dealer 9
Many things that you do not yet know, there are, young paddawan.
mikeeg 0
Heads and shoulders!
Enslaved 38
Knees and toes. Knees and toes
Capt_Oblivious 10
18: Now THAT made my day, thank you.
tsim_fml 0
18 - beat me to it. darn
HideouslyHuman 10
Eyes and ears and nose and mouth...Head shoulders knees and toes knees and toes. (I couldn't leave that song unfinished!)
TuLegit 4
Thank you 18!!! Good on ya mate!!!
G97Alex 21
I know what giving head is, but how do you give shoulders?
2ndSucks 15
88- Special positioning when a girl is being eaten out. Flexibility!
dumboears 8
83- It's "eyes, ears, mouth, and nose".
bigbadtim 7
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.
flockz 20
le **** now.
thisisafunnyname 12
DONT EAT THE YELLOW SNOW!
poppaof6 0
That wasn't dandruff. That was snow from Santas head. He was taking the bus to NY for the thanksgiving day parade.
Mr_Trollsome 1
Obviously
geon_olam 17
...we got, a rapist, in Lincoln Park
PopsicleLicker 0
hide yo kids, hide yo wife... and hide yo husband! They rape'n ery'body out here.
GirlWithName1324 0
Or maybe he was a drugee and it was crack. The possibilities are endless if you have an imagination ;)
Symmetry88 0
Think of it as a snowfall, but DON'T open your mouth. And get that dude some head and shoulders.
TipOfTheHat 10
Confetti! Micro-sized!