bad karma
United States
Candy Andy
Today, I was so hungry that I literally stole candy from a baby. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Fatass
Knoxville, United States
Today, I lied to the cashier at my local store, saying that I was "nominated to buy the candy for the party" when in actuality I went home and gorged on it alone. FML
BrokeAndHungry
Ann Arbor, United States
Today, I was so ashamed of being broke that instead of asking my parents for money, I snuck into their house while they were at work to steal some of their food. FML
Timmy
France
Today, I got caught stealing lollies. I am 25. FML
love you too mommy
Brentwood, United States
Today, my mom walked into my room to talk to me. I was surprised because we don't talk much. I was left with a smile on my face after she left, until I realized she'd stolen all the candy on my desk while I wasn't looking. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff
What ARE you doing?
Today, I was so tired at the pet store I was working at that I accidentally offered a kid a dog treat instead of their dog. He ate it. While his mom watched. FML
dannij08
United States
Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML
Anonymous
Bigmouth strikes again
Today, I was pretending to be a mom with my friends, and I was joking how I bought them candy and that it cost me an arm and a leg, only to realize that the cashier only had one arm. FML
sierra
The sleepwalkers are at it again!
Today, my mom told me she’d never forgive me for eating her birthday candy. I ate it in my sleep. FML
ilovekids?
Commack, United States
Today, while I was working at a supermarket, a kid started to cry in line because he couldn't get candy. Since we have free lollipops behind the desk, I gave him one. His mom complained to my manager and said I was grooming her child. FML
nocat6
This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff
Northville, United States
Sneaky
Today, I caught a customer using his fat to shoplift gum out of a store. FML
Top comments
TipOfTheHat 10
It's an expression! Your not actually supposed to do that!
xxcreativedreame 5
Wow. It takes a REAL loser to do that. Seriously.
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Comments (230)
Savra_fml 17
Hope you choked on it OP!!! 'tard!
AlaskaKid95 7
That's pathetic.
EnEl_Infierno 15
If you really were that hungry, you should have just gone to a Rescue Mission, Church, or Soup Kitchen. Or you just could punch a cop and go to jail and get your 3 square meals a day. But to steal from a baby that's just sad and pathetic.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
This is true. At least with those options you get at least somewhat real food. Candy isn't going to hold you over more than 10 minutes.
coltsrock37 15
I stole candy for Quality Candy as a kid, man that manager gave me the death stare. My dad bitched her out though. Good times.
Coolaidegirl 18
haha my sis ate a 5 cent candy off the ground (we wete like 5) and my parent made her go back in and apologise in front of the whole store
perdix 31
That used to be really bad, but now we are more concerned about adults who give candy to babies and young boys.
EmeraldEyedGirl 7
You honestly are a terrible person and I am amazed you actually have the guts to write something like this and then expect someone to feel sorry for you.
flake97 4
The fml is about how he stole it and felt bad he isn't looking for people to agree with him you ass hat
autumnleighf 0
fatty mcfattson
ScarletBloom 14
F the baby's life.
OFFICERxNASTYxx 0
Whats wrong? Its just Survival of the fittest! It's a doggy dog world out there you know!!... .... Jk you're an asshole op
perdix 31
It's not "doggy dog," it's "dog eat dog." More brutal, huh? I was much older than you when I got straightened out on this saying.
lovelylaurie021 3
Being a mother I would have kicked ur ass