Today, I saw a huge wolf spider in my room. It ran off and hid before I could kill it, but after two hours looking for it then giving up, I finally found it, with my foot, as I put on my shoes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML
Today, I tried to have a relaxing soak in the tub. The giant wolf spider that was already in the tub didn't like me trying to set it free outside. It ran right across my feet and back into my house when I dumped it out of a cup outside. I screamed like a little girl. FML
Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML
Today, I spotted a huge spider in my bedroom. I freaked out at first, but I managed to confront my arachnophobia and killed it with a book. I was ecstatic and went to tell my boyfriend. By the time I returned to my room, the "dead" spider had vanished. Now I'm too scared to sleep. FML
Today, when I was laying in my bed, I looked on the opposite side and saw a spider the size of my palm staring at me. And if that wasn't bad, I found out it hops. I still can't find it. FML
Today, I reached into my wardrobe to get ready for the day, when something hairy tickled my hand. Imagine my shock seeing a fully-grown wolf spider staring me down from a coat hanger. I grabbed the can of bug spray and let him have it. Half the can later, I now need to re-wash my entire closet. Damn arachnophobia. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML
Today, I found the same spider which I had let live yesterday hidden in my bath towel. I didn't find it until it was smeared on my face. FML
Today, while I was working from home on my laptop and had my feet up on the coffee table, I felt something on my foot. I looked down to see a spider the size of a quarter on top of my bare foot. It started doing something so I froze, hoping it wouldn't bite me. Instead, it anchored the start of its web to my skin. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my kitchen. Freaked, but trying to be humane, I held out a piece of paper so it would climb on, and I would then put it outside. However, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to whack at where the spider was - my face. I stumbled around, disoriented; the spider got away. FML
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Top comments
leopardwilliam 22
There's only one solution. You need to amputate the foot that touched it. It's the only way.
mattzawesome 28
Something close to that just happened to me! I was in a drive thru when a wasp flew in and landed on the steering wheel. I swore it flew back out but the radiating waves of pain coming from my foot a few minutes later suggested otherwise
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Comments (90)
smile2312 16
burn it
igg125 30
Your comment goes perfect with your picture.
rileyrae0000 23
Burn what exactly..? The spider? I feel like there are better ways to off a spider that wouldn't smell as bad or cause as much collateral damage. And burning anything else would just be unnecessary as the location of the spider is well known and could be easily squashed. Perhaps OP could burn the shoe I suppose.
MrGibbs25 20
were I grew up, we had blueberry bushes, and one day I was eating blueberries and accidentally ate a spider. if I listen closely, I can still tast and hear the crunch of the spider.
roxxyfoxxy3 25
No. Everything it touched. Burn everything.
JustHere2Laugh 9
You're actually kinda right, Wolf Spiders are not to be squished because they can release babies from their sac, you either burn them or flush them.
lovelockdown23 23
I would have literally shit my pants and would have to endure a life long fear of shoes.
xyris_fml 28
I can only hope you don't have arachnophobia... That makes it about a hundred times worse. FYL.
xyris_fml 28
Apparently we're going to downvote half of this comment section's comments to hell. I'm not the only one who was originally thumbed up and close to top comment only to be buried
igg125 30
Hopefully it didn't bit you.
haskell 4
You are everywhere
igg125 30
59 I was bored at work.
Dougie_Bee 21
Spiders are the ninjas of the insect community, they'll hide anywhere and attack when you least expect it.
Iarla_ceapaire93 24
Arachnid*.
ImmortalYu 11
bug community! insects have 6 legs while spiders have 8
scarlett3diaz 24
Burn your house down
tarlax 11
The "shitty situation" of spider FMLs, well done. Original. 10/10.
shay_serendipity 29
Yet another unfortunate case of a once good and acceptable comment becoming terrible from overuse... *sigh*
shay_serendipity 29
Yet another unfortunate case of a once good and acceptable comment becoming terrible from overuse... *sigh*
leopardwilliam 22
There's only one solution. You need to amputate the foot that touched it. It's the only way.
RickySleeves 20
And then burn that foot.
olpally 33
KILL IT WITH FIREEEE!!! Ayyyyyy xD
mattzawesome 28
Something close to that just happened to me! I was in a drive thru when a wasp flew in and landed on the steering wheel. I swore it flew back out but the radiating waves of pain coming from my foot a few minutes later suggested otherwise
1dvs_bstd 41
Something similar happened to me and my gf, too. We were coming back from the beach and I plucked flowers for her.. huge mistake. As we were going home, a bee landed on her, after killing it, we turned and there were like over 20 of them. Needless to say we were motivated to run faster than Usain Bolt.
mattzawesome 28
Nice haha, I opened the door and was going to run.. But thankfully I remembered I was the only one in a car with a key in it...
Woedel 25
Playing footsies with a spider, huh. So if it was that 'huge', how didn't you feel it?
Woedel 25
Never mind, I get it! I failed at reading.