Today, I tried to have a relaxing soak in the tub. The giant wolf spider that was already in the tub didn't like me trying to set it free outside. It ran right across my feet and back into my house when I dumped it out of a cup outside. I screamed like a little girl. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I saw a huge wolf spider in my room. It ran off and hid before I could kill it, but after two hours looking for it then giving up, I finally found it, with my foot, as I put on my shoes. FML
Today, I discovered an enormous hairy spider sitting in the bathtub. I also discovered that I scream like a girl and pee a little bit when I am truly terrified. FML
Today, I was in the bathroom at a party when I noticed a spider the size of a golf ball on the toilet paper roll. I screamed, tripped over my own feet trying to flee, and fell right into the bathtub. Everyone at the party heard. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my bathtub, so instead of killing it, i decided to bring my dog inside the bathroom to kill the spider for me. Turns out that the spider was a black widow, and my dog was bit. The dog killed the spider. The spider killed my dog. FML
Today, I reached into my wardrobe to get ready for the day, when something hairy tickled my hand. Imagine my shock seeing a fully-grown wolf spider staring me down from a coat hanger. I grabbed the can of bug spray and let him have it. Half the can later, I now need to re-wash my entire closet. Damn arachnophobia. FML
Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML
Today, while taking a shower, a spider fell from the ceiling onto my foot. I took down my shower head to wash it down the drain, and in the process, got soap in my eye and rammed my head into the wall. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my kitchen. Freaked, but trying to be humane, I held out a piece of paper so it would climb on, and I would then put it outside. However, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to whack at where the spider was - my face. I stumbled around, disoriented; the spider got away. FML
Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML
Today, I was taking a shower when I noticed the huge spider above my head. Now, being the smart person I am, I sprayed the water up at it, causing it to fall. Right on my face. FML
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Top comments
Bobby319 24
Time to burn your house down
Shay_Shay97 23
I would've just straight up cried if I saw that thing. But if it ran across my leg? Oh hell no, it's time to amputate.
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Comments (37)
Bobby319 24
Time to burn your house down
ragnarok1540 39
Maybe even the whole neighborhood just to be safe ...
DMC0821 19
I agree with #5, complete sterilization is needed
Stuffaluffagus 25
Should have just smashed it
heheitscece 16
I can't even look at a spider without wanting to cry. I wouldn't be able to smash one
Shay_Shay97 23
I would've just straight up cried if I saw that thing. But if it ran across my leg? Oh hell no, it's time to amputate.
SpaceToast 25
Don't worry op, I'm sure that your insurance would understand if you burned your house to the ground.
LyricaSilvan 29
"No, no, it's not insurance fraud. I just saw a spider."
WCARlover 34
It's funny you say "screamed like a little girl" cause for me personally when I was a little girl, I was fearless around spiders. But now I definitely freak out ask someone else to kill them and scream sometimes, too. So I guess I scream like an adult woman that's a wimp :/ lol
cacheson 41
I think they mean the pitch and tone of the scream as opposed to the reason for the scream.
aredvulpix 23
That's horrifying. Next time you should just kill it!
chrisbeaudoin 26
When you are afraid of spiders, it's not that easy
BobBricks101 7
But it's somehow easier to capture and carry it to release it, with the chance of OP's situation happening? Y'all make no sense. Get a shoe and teach that baby how to make some pancakes
ThatCreativeType 5
Time to sell. He owns it now!
Etweens96 25
Oh god those things are nasty and fugly! Trap it and get it far away from your home!
Lillysar91 20
Wolf spider? Oh hell to the no I would have ran out of the house screaming for my life! Ain't nobody got time for that!
buttcrackles 9
*His house