Today, I saw a huge wolf spider in my room. It ran off and hid before I could kill it, but after two hours looking for it then giving up, I finally found it, with my foot, as I put on my shoes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML
Today, I tried to have a relaxing soak in the tub. The giant wolf spider that was already in the tub didn't like me trying to set it free outside. It ran right across my feet and back into my house when I dumped it out of a cup outside. I screamed like a little girl. FML
Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML
Today, I spotted a huge spider in my bedroom. I freaked out at first, but I managed to confront my arachnophobia and killed it with a book. I was ecstatic and went to tell my boyfriend. By the time I returned to my room, the "dead" spider had vanished. Now I'm too scared to sleep. FML
Today, when I was laying in my bed, I looked on the opposite side and saw a spider the size of my palm staring at me. And if that wasn't bad, I found out it hops. I still can't find it. FML
Today, I reached into my wardrobe to get ready for the day, when something hairy tickled my hand. Imagine my shock seeing a fully-grown wolf spider staring me down from a coat hanger. I grabbed the can of bug spray and let him have it. Half the can later, I now need to re-wash my entire closet. Damn arachnophobia. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML
Today, I found the same spider which I had let live yesterday hidden in my bath towel. I didn't find it until it was smeared on my face. FML
Today, while I was working from home on my laptop and had my feet up on the coffee table, I felt something on my foot. I looked down to see a spider the size of a quarter on top of my bare foot. It started doing something so I froze, hoping it wouldn't bite me. Instead, it anchored the start of its web to my skin. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my kitchen. Freaked, but trying to be humane, I held out a piece of paper so it would climb on, and I would then put it outside. However, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to whack at where the spider was - my face. I stumbled around, disoriented; the spider got away. FML
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Top comments
leopardwilliam 22
There's only one solution. You need to amputate the foot that touched it. It's the only way.
mattzawesome 28
Something close to that just happened to me! I was in a drive thru when a wasp flew in and landed on the steering wheel. I swore it flew back out but the radiating waves of pain coming from my foot a few minutes later suggested otherwise
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Comments (90)
EcoAirWarrior 7
This particular species of arachnid is likely to dwell near windows or plants or within basements and it's bite is incredibly painful but is non lethal to humans so take measures to protect any small pets like a hamster or a budgerigar in a cage and avoid sleeping near the window or close to indoor plants
alioni 12
Well atleast its gone now
False_Stupidity 42
This spider may be gone.... But it's friends and family, they are another matter! *insert dr evil laugh*
IssacB 14
NEVER take your eyes off the spider, man. FYL
MdMan2 23
My foot is cringing in sympathy, OP.
haskell 4
That was ******* dumb
ohSNAPyall 27
You should watch the movie 'Arachnophobia.'
outfielder55 17
Wolf spiders can't hurt you though...
jezka374 15
Look it up. Wolf spiders are actually toxic although not poisonous. Plus there is the chance of getting an infection from their bite...
Levvy 22
Er... what exactly is "toxic but not poisonous" supposed to mean? I'm assuming you mean venomous rather than poisonous, though the question stands either way. (Also, literally any skin-breaking animal bite can become infected, just as a by-the-by.) Either way, they are in fact venomous, but produce no more than itching and mild pain if they do envenomate on a bite (which spiders don't always), and only in some cases, FYI. So they can hurt you in the sense of "cause you pain", but not in the sense of "harm your health".
jezka374 15
Google the shit you asshat.
Levvy 22
I Googled "the shit" and didn't get any clarification, so I decided to Google "toxic but not poisonous" and got absolutely nothing relevant to spider envenomation, so I Googled "wolf spider" and got the exact facts I already just told you. Looks like the internet isn't going to explain your non-sequitur for you. Or maybe I'm not the one who needs to be "Googling the shit".
AletheDefender 15
This is my biggest fear.
samlovesham1234 9
Damn it, I hate it when that happens.
leafynitemare 24
Lmao, all the comments suggesting fire as a solution are getting down voted. This is immensely amusing.