Today, I saw a huge wolf spider in my room. It ran off and hid before I could kill it, but after two hours looking for it then giving up, I finally found it, with my foot, as I put on my shoes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML
Today, I tried to have a relaxing soak in the tub. The giant wolf spider that was already in the tub didn't like me trying to set it free outside. It ran right across my feet and back into my house when I dumped it out of a cup outside. I screamed like a little girl. FML
Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML
Today, I spotted a huge spider in my bedroom. I freaked out at first, but I managed to confront my arachnophobia and killed it with a book. I was ecstatic and went to tell my boyfriend. By the time I returned to my room, the "dead" spider had vanished. Now I'm too scared to sleep. FML
Today, when I was laying in my bed, I looked on the opposite side and saw a spider the size of my palm staring at me. And if that wasn't bad, I found out it hops. I still can't find it. FML
Today, I reached into my wardrobe to get ready for the day, when something hairy tickled my hand. Imagine my shock seeing a fully-grown wolf spider staring me down from a coat hanger. I grabbed the can of bug spray and let him have it. Half the can later, I now need to re-wash my entire closet. Damn arachnophobia. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML
Today, I found the same spider which I had let live yesterday hidden in my bath towel. I didn't find it until it was smeared on my face. FML
Today, while I was working from home on my laptop and had my feet up on the coffee table, I felt something on my foot. I looked down to see a spider the size of a quarter on top of my bare foot. It started doing something so I froze, hoping it wouldn't bite me. Instead, it anchored the start of its web to my skin. FML
Today, I saw a spider in my kitchen. Freaked, but trying to be humane, I held out a piece of paper so it would climb on, and I would then put it outside. However, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to whack at where the spider was - my face. I stumbled around, disoriented; the spider got away. FML
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Top comments
leopardwilliam 22
There's only one solution. You need to amputate the foot that touched it. It's the only way.
mattzawesome 28
Something close to that just happened to me! I was in a drive thru when a wasp flew in and landed on the steering wheel. I swore it flew back out but the radiating waves of pain coming from my foot a few minutes later suggested otherwise
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Comments (90)
me127 17
I'd never wear shoes again.
saffy66 34
You must not be an Aussie. A wolf spider would the least of your worries here. We are taught from early childhood to always check our shoes before putting them on.
bluesky7 4
The other day a bumblebee flew into my shirt in my bust area. It took a he's while to get it out but thankfully it didn't sting me. I guess my husband isn't the only one who likes to bee there. That's the last time I put perfume in my bra.
bluesky7 4
sorry for the typos. dang phone
lunaangel 14
I am such an aracniphobe it's almost funny I Either kill the spider andfreak out because my skin is crawling or I loose the spider and retreat to the high bar stool crying like crazy and demand to sleep at grandma's house
jezka374 15
It's funny how I posted a FML almost identical to this and it was rejected... At least you didn't piss on yourself, lol. I did. I'm deathly afraid of spiders!
addisonrose12 16
Aaaaand this is why I wear flip flops all the time...
Rannoch 10
Why are so many people downvoting good comments? What is wrong with you people?
Levvy 22
Because even the internet gets tired of seeing the exact same response to the exact same stimulus after the four-hundred-billionth time. (See "The Cake is a Lie" for a previous example of this backlash in action.)
Badkarma4u 17
It's just a spider, I hope you never go camping. They are everywhere out there.
mrscoffee19 4
Finally getting around to commenting back! I'm not sure if the spider was dead or alive when I stuck my foot in my shoe. And I'm deathly afraid of spiders, hence me searching for it for two hours. My mom walked in on me in the shower screaming bloody murder because I was scared there were babies.