LGBTQIA+

Connect Four (GONE WRONG)

By Anonymous - 28/09/2022 01:30

Today, I played Connect Four with a gay guy who was clearly hitting on me for an hour. When he asked why I didn’t want to go to his place, I told him that I’m straight and married. He asked why I played with him for so long, so I told him, “My wife sucks at Connect Four.” He called me a cocktease and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 694

You deserved it 606

Misunderstood

By not a phobe - 16/07/2020 08:02

Today, my son told our whole family and all our friends that I kicked him out for being gay. I kicked him out because on more than one occasion he got drunk and sneaked random men in the house while he was supposed to be watching his younger siblings while I worked nights. They believed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 416

You deserved it 279

Stuck on amber

By Jaled - 11/12/2023 09:00 - United States

Today, I got stuck in an elevator with a guy I have a bit of a crush on. Trying to break the awkward silence, I made a joke about our situation, saying, "Well, at least we're not on a desert island." He replied, "Yeah, but I'd still prefer the island; at least then I could escape." FML

I agree, your life sucks 539

You deserved it 153

Shit stirrer

By PrinceJ - 27/10/2018 17:30

Today, my girlfriend's homophobic cousin claimed she saw me making out with my gay friend in public. I was home alone all day, but my girlfriend is crying and unconvinced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 517

You deserved it 200

Big boy

By Anonymous - 30/09/2022 08:30

Today, I’m bisexual and recently got into talking with a man after dumping my girlfriend. I had a “craving” for a man and when I went to fulfill my needs, it wasn't even two inches long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 734

You deserved it 1 382

Happy birthday?

By Not really - 19/07/2018 15:00

Today, I picked up a birthday card for my dad at the supermarket in a mad rush. I didn’t realise that the inside said “From your daughter”. He thinks this was my way of coming out as trans, and said that he'd suspected it for years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 419

You deserved it 1 058

Keep schtum

By confused - 02/09/2010 21:09 - Canada

Today, I found out that my employers hired me under the assumption that I was gay. Apparently, they are attempting to be perceived as more open-minded. I'm not gay, but I'm afraid being straight could cost me my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 672

You deserved it 3 574

The reverse beard

By heart-broken - 03/07/2009 01:33 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend left me. The reason? She's not actually a lesbian. She has been using our relationship to piss off her conservative parents. We've been together for over a year, and I've been in love with her for over five. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 972

You deserved it 8 757

MIL squared

By Anonymous - 28/12/2021 05:01

Today, I met my future in-laws, two lesbian ladies. Can you imagine that, two mothers-in-law judging me for daring to want to marry their precious baby boy? By the time we left, it felt like they’d extracted every iota of information about me through my skin with sandpaper and rusty barbecue tongs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 236

You deserved it 892

Been there, done that

By forever alone - 24/02/2023 16:00

Today, I came to the unhappy realization that I’m living such a cliche. I’m completely in love with a totally unavailable man. He’s funny, smart, and drop dead gorgeous. There’s no way I could ever tell him how I truly feel. He’s gay and I’m a woman. We’ll never be more than friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 830

You deserved it 355

Shy

By Dan - 13/12/2021 08:01 - United States

Today, I discovered the guy I like will be working with me in PE for the school year. He’s straight. I’m awkward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 814

You deserved it 244

Assumptions…

By Singlelady - 21/09/2016 19:16 - United Kingdom - Stoke-on-trent

Today, my sister gently asked me if I was gay. Turns out I've been without a boyfriend for so long that the whole family believes I secretly have a girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 882

You deserved it 1 167

Love is love

By Anonymous - 30/06/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, my friend, who is gay, announced that he's getting married. I implored him to not invite my parents and (especially) my grandma, for reasons that I'm sure you can figure out, but he did anyway. Long story short, he's inconsolable. What excellent parents I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 542

You deserved it 142

Happy pride month?

By CuckedByIncognito - 13/06/2025 05:00 - United States - Harker Heights

Today, I realized my husband’s true “ride or die” is his dick. He’s posted it online, cammed with strangers, and fantasized about men, while I raised our kids, did IVF alone, and stayed loyal through deployments. He says he loves me. I’m not the gender of his fantasies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 116

We have so much in common

By Frank - 19/09/2022 09:00

Today, my girlfriend of 4 years confessed to me that she had sex with my best friend before she started to date me. Funny thing is, I'm bi and had sex with the same best friend at around the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 896

You deserved it 695

Denial

By Unhappy32 - 17/01/2022 11:01

Today, my homophobic mother is arranging to set me up with a wealthy 46 year-old man who has agreed to marry me. I’m 19, a lesbian, and I’ve been in a committed relationship for the past couple of years. My mother will stop at nothing. This is the fourth guy she's tried to set me up with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 670

You deserved it 269

Keeping up

By Anonymous - 09/05/2019 22:00

Today, I found out that my mother has been telling everybody that I’m a lesbian, because both of her best friends have at least one gay child each, and she was feeling left out. This explains why people have been treating me differently the last few weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 447

You deserved it 158

All you need is hate

By Anonymous - 27/01/2022 14:00 - United States - Wilmington

Today, my mom texted me to let me know that my wife and I are no longer allowed to visit her house together, because she doesn’t want it to appear like she’s OK with queer relationships, but she’s OK if we visit one at a time because she still wants to see our son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 656

You deserved it 199

Out of the frying pan…

By Anonymous - 25/07/2021 00:01

Today, after months of dealing with homophobic abuse for my coworkers and supervisors at my previous job, I was excited to start my new job where most of my co-workers were LGBTQ. I find out a majority of them don't like me because my fiancé is a deputy sheriff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 871

You deserved it 311

Misguided

By Anonymous - 27/10/2023 22:00

Today, my dad invited me to a bar that turned out to be a brothel, because “it’s pathetic that I’m still a virgin and it’s past time I just get it over with.” I’m not a virgin, I’ve just never been with a woman because I’m gay and still haven’t told my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 523

You deserved it 207

By Anonymous - 08/07/2019 18:01 - United States

Today, I'm so single, I signed up for a free consultation on an LGBT arranged marriage site. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 355

You deserved it 436

Whatever it takes

By UglyLesbo - 21/08/2022 06:00

Today, I saw the girl I have a crush on holding hands and making out with another girl. When I hinted that I was into girls, in an attempt to ask her out out two months ago, she told me she was “straight as hell” and would “never resort to that disgusting ass lesbo shit.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 314

You deserved it 269

What logic is that?

By Anonymous - 01/07/2022 16:00

Today, my parents lectured me on whether it was a good idea to let my girlfriend stay at the home of her ex boyfriend… and his husband. I’m 44 and trust her. My parents didn’t trust this logic and doubled down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 793

You deserved it 322

Pride

By Anonymous - 05/06/2022 04:00

Today, my husband found out the owner of the shop across from our shop is homophobic. Our daughter is bisexual, so he’s started Pride-themed warfare against the shop with flags everywhere. It’s a rather conservative neighbourhood and our customers have deserted us in droves. We may have to close. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 252

You deserved it 645

Own it!

By Anonymous - 28/06/2021 08:02 - Australia - Kenwick

Today, my ultra-conservative aunt got rip-roaring drunk at a family barbecue and told everyone that I'm a "raging homosexual" with a lack a moral compass, all because I kissed a male friend at a high school party about 20 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 081

You deserved it 194

Overcompensating

By Anonymous - 28/10/2022 21:00 - United Kingdom - Coventry

Today, my mom, dad, siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles came together to tell me they’re fine that I’m a lesbian, so I don’t have to be in the closet anymore. I wasn’t aware I was lesbian, I’ve been happily using men's penises since I was 19, but apparently I’m a secret lesbian. Go figure… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 369

You deserved it 205

By Anonymous - 12/01/2016 21:03 - United States - Newport

Today, my father contacted me for the first time in years to ask about my upcoming wedding, and possibly walking me down the aisle. He claimed the only reason he left was because he thought I'd be gay. I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 894

You deserved it 2 181

Nagging

By Anonymous - 20/07/2022 20:00 - United States - Gladwyne

Today, I found out that my nephew isn’t actually aroace (aromantic/asexual). He lied so I would stop asking him about his love life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 148

You deserved it 2 044

Too late

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I left home to start my new life at University. Saying goodbye to my mother, the last thing she said to me was, "Don't turn gay." I'm gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 355

You deserved it 11 331

Happy anniversary?

By Anonymous - 14/02/2025 02:00 - United States - Carpentersville

Today, it was my one-year anniversary with my girlfriend, but instead of celebrating, we had to attend a family funeral with a bunch of people who "don't agree with our lifestyle." To make matters worse, I received my first ticket on the way there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 495

You deserved it 150

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend's response to me saying, "Most women like a bit of filth in the bedroom every now and again" was to start farting in bed. Not quite what I meant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 293

You deserved it 11 632

Today, it's Saturday. While all my friends go out to have fun, I get my excitement thinking about how I'll be sleeping with a new pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 736

You deserved it 6 785

Today, my girlfriend got very mad at me after finding several appointments with "Amanda" in my calendar. Amanda is my psychiatrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 724

You deserved it 302

Today, I thought my girlfriend of two years had ghosted me. Turns out, she was deported after assuming that “this whole immigration thing will just sort itself out.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 129

You deserved it 248

Today, after drastically changing my diet, going to the gym regularly, avoiding excess sugar and carbs, upping my protein, I’m still as fat as ever. In fact I weighed myself this morning, and I’ve gained 12lbs in 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 463

You deserved it 160

Today, I watched Alien for the first time with my husband. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I got so wet during the facehugger scene, I had to fake a panic attack and ask him to turn the movie off because I was scared he'd notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 122

You deserved it 313