hard lesson · 12 August 2022, 14:00 ·United States

Bigots, bigots everywhere

Today, I had to have a very unfortunate conversation with my young daughter about homophobia and bigotry, after the neighbor said she can’t play with her kids anymore. My daughter mentioned she had two mommies, me and my platonic best fiend who’s her godmother. My poor baby is still inconsolable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 188 You deserved it 179

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Heart.Broken.Yet.Again · 1 August 2022, 12:00

Unboyfriendable

Today, after years of crushing on numerous straight guys, I now like a really close friend who is also gay. Too bad, he has already elaborated how perfect I am, but definitely not someone he could like or date. Seems I would have to move on yet again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 878 You deserved it 279

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Anonymous · 22 July 2022, 18:00 🌶️ Spicy

Some of these things aren't related

Today, my husband is a pain. He thinks he might be bisexual, because we discovered he likes to have sex with a plug up his ass, and yet when I suggest a threesome or even if he experiments with a guy on his own, he gets this look like I want him to kiss a dead badger. I don’t know what he wants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 203 You deserved it 512

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Anonymous · 21 July 2022, 02:00 ·Gladwyne, United States

Nagging

Today, I found out that my nephew isn’t actually aroace (aromantic/asexual). He lied so I would stop asking him about his love life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 148 You deserved it 2 059

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Anonymous · 20 July 2022, 14:00

This is not a choice

Today, I came out to my parents. Now my dad only refers to me as "Nancy Boy", and not in a nice way, that’s if he even bothers to speak to me at all. Mostly he just pretends I don’t exist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 297 You deserved it 358

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Anonymous · 1 July 2022, 16:00

What logic is that?

Today, my parents lectured me on whether it was a good idea to let my girlfriend stay at the home of her ex boyfriend… and his husband. I’m 44 and trust her. My parents didn’t trust this logic and doubled down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 797 You deserved it 325

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yblamemebiatch · This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff ·Sydney, Australia

Barking up the wrong tree

Today, I found out a colleague spread lies about me because she somehow thinks I'm to blame for the hot guy at work not wanting to date her. Perhaps she should blame his fiancé. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 744 You deserved it 1 446

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Anonymous · 10 June 2022, 14:00 ·Morganville, United States

Dodged a bullet

Today, I saw one of the gay kids from my class getting picked on, so I tried to stand up for him. Not only did I get my ass kicked, but now my girlfriend thinks I might secretly be gay. Why? Because, in her own words, "Straight guys never defend gay guys!" She fails to see anything wrong with this mindset. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 425 You deserved it 217

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Alex · 10 June 2022, 04:00

Praying the gay away

Today, I was supposed to go on a date with my boyfriend this Saturday, but his dad grounded him for being gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 023 You deserved it 228

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Queen of Queens Darling · 6 June 2022, 12:00

I'm no stereotype, but come on Susan…

Today, a woman I work with confessed her love to me, but when I turned her down, she accused me of being a playboy, a manipulator, and a liar who led her on. I'm quite openly gay, so in no way did I ever lead her on, and the only way she could have not known I was gay was if she walked around with her eyes shut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 124 You deserved it 138

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Anonymous · 5 June 2022, 04:00

Pride

Today, my husband found out the owner of the shop across from our shop is homophobic. Our daughter is bisexual, so he’s started Pride-themed warfare against the shop with flags everywhere. It’s a rather conservative neighbourhood and our customers have deserted us in droves. We may have to close. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 257 You deserved it 649

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Anonymous · 16 May 2022, 18:00 ·Mountain View, United States

Acceptance

Today, I'm a closeted trans man, and I feel terrible every time my family calls me "she" or "girl". Help me, I don't know how to come out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 980 You deserved it 798

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Anonymous · 15 May 2022, 12:00 ·Fraiburgo, Brazil

Mistaken identity

Today, after cutting my hair and shaving, I had girls hitting on me for the first time ever! Too bad they thought I was a butch lesbian, not a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 026 You deserved it 162

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Conversion · 13 May 2022, 02:00 ·United States

**** those guys

Today, I work in healthcare databases, mostly child abuse, so I'd been looking forward to a weekend obstacle course, organized by a friend of a friend. After getting the details, I realized the event will raise funds for pro-life and LGBT conversion therapy. My new plans involve drinking and moving out of state. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 194 You deserved it 328

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Anonymous · 9 May 2022, 04:00

Hate crime

Today, I was planning to propose to my girlfriend. I got out the ring and… she did the same. Coincidentally, she'd planned to propose to me, so we'd both got rings. Too bad our perfect moment was ruined by the bigot who called us “lezzers” and poured a pitcher of beer over both our heads. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 469 You deserved it 305

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Anonymous · 25 April 2022, 16:00

Unexpected

Today, I came out to my parents. Their response was basically, "Oh, you’re coming out? But we’ve known for years. It was obvious, so obvious we never knew you were in the closet in the first place." FML

I agree, your life sucks 539 You deserved it 997

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Anonymous · 23 April 2022, 12:00

Mistaken identity

Today, I asked my crush out for coffee but she wanted to go shopping. When she pulled me into the dressing room for my opinion on a bikini, I told her this was too fast for a first date. She looked at me in absolute horror. She thought I was gay, as in a harmless gay friend she could take shopping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 306 You deserved it 281

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DisneyGal · 22 April 2022, 18:00

Wokescolds gonna wokescold

Today, I was screamed at by a girl, all because I wore a pride-themed Mickey Mouse shirt. Apparently, I’m supporting “hypocritical capitalist freaks” who profit off LGBT people, yet support anti-LGBT legislation. Also, she commented about my Starbucks drink, another “anti-LGBT company.” I can’t win. FML

I agree, your life sucks 812 You deserved it 388

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Anonymous · 21 April 2022, 16:00 ·United States

Identity politics

Today, I came out as a lesbian to my friends. They were supportive, save for my one friend, who accused me of copying her by also being a lesbian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 004 You deserved it 174

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Anonymous · 11 April 2022, 02:00

Old fashioned

Today, my dad, who lives a billion miles away in Japan, somehow found out I’ve been indulging my bisexual curiosity while at university, and because he doesn’t like technology, sent me a handwritten letter that took like a month to get here, disowning me until I return to being straight only. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 222 You deserved it 282

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Anonymous · 5 April 2022, 14:00

The Brewers?

Today, my mom is mad that she went clubbing and not one single guy offered to buy her a drink, but a couple of women did, which just pissed her off even more. I should point out the club she chose is the biggest gay club in our city, but then she’ll probably switch to being mad at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 146 You deserved it 115

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Anonymous · 1 April 2022, 14:00

The punch from beyond the grave

Today, my brother‘s will read that everything would go to our other brother, so long as he punched me for having an affair with my his wife. So now I have a black eye. I’m gay, but I've never told my family. I didn't have an affair with his wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 334 You deserved it 201

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Anonymous · 31 March 2022, 14:00 ·Morganville, United States

Read the room

Today, I finally opened up to my roommates about when I came out as gay to my parents, and how I was beaten and disowned over it. One roommate saw this as the perfect time to hit on me, since he's also gay and thought I was hot, but wasn't sure if I swung that way. Glad he was so invested in me pouring my guts out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 225 You deserved it 292

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Lesbo88 · 28 March 2022, 16:00

The faith of acceptance

Today, I sadly had to tell my fiancé of 3 years that I realized I’m a lesbian and not really attracted to men, and therefore I called off the wedding. He decided to retaliate and out me to my very Christian parents, who are unhappy campers right now. “Unhappy” is an understatement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 911 You deserved it 1 382

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Anonymous · 17 March 2022, 18:00

Family ties

Today, I worked up the courage to contact my daughter, who cut ties with me four years ago when I outed her girlfriend by accident, to see if she's still mad at me and if we could reconnect. She informed me that once I die, she plans to cremate me and flush my ashes down a McDonald's toilet. So… still mad, then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 144 You deserved it 409

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Anonymous · 14 March 2022, 12:00 ·United States

Not today, Satan

Today, I briefly considered coming out to my parents when the topic of LGBTQ+ people came up in conversation, until my dad called them “socially deranged.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 100 You deserved it 292

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Anonymous · 13 March 2022, 14:00

Cishet normative stereotypes are boring

Today, my girlfriend asked me to marry her, and I said yes. My parents were thrilled, but my brother is so immature, he couldn’t stop laughing that of two lesbians I’m the “girl” and my girlfriend is the “guy.” I swear I’m going to ban him from the wedding in case he tries to make a speech. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 042 You deserved it 275

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Anonymous · 7 March 2022, 14:00

Shipping culture

Today, my friend accused me of lying about being gay. Why? I happen to ship some m/f couples in the works of fiction I follow. According to her, gay people are inherently opposed to anything heterosexual, and therefore it shouldn't be possible that I like those ships. The kicker? She herself is straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 928 You deserved it 126

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Anonymous · 2 March 2022, 22:00

Stop using this as an excuse

Today, I had to tell my ex-husband I’m a lesbian. I’m not, he just keeps trying to win me back, but it worked, he now thinks there’s no chance for us. Unfortunately, he mentioned it to my mom, who “always suspected” and is now obsessively trying to set me up with every lesbian she knows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 730 You deserved it 1 679

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Anonymous · 27 February 2022, 04:00

Slightly homophobic, but OK…

Today, I was pulled into an argument between a woman and her boyfriend. He wanted to buy a jacket and she wanted my opinion, as a gay man, on whether it suited him. I’m not gay, I'm even married to a woman. They were very surprised because apparently I look "super gay." Other shoppers agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 030 You deserved it 191

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