Today, I saw one of the gay kids from my class getting picked on, so I tried to stand up for him. Not only did I get my ass kicked, but now my girlfriend thinks I might secretly be gay. Why? Because, in her own words, "Straight guys never defend gay guys!" She fails to see anything wrong with this mindset. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my girlfriend's homophobic cousin claimed she saw me making out with my gay friend in public. I was home alone all day, but my girlfriend is crying and unconvinced. FML
Today, my girlfriend's mother insisted she's not homophobic, but however people only 'turn gay' because they were sexually abused, or are 'making it up to get attention'. She informed me I'm the former and my girlfriend is the latter. Uh huh. FML
Today, I found out that my entire school differentiates me from another girl in my grade with the same name by saying, "No, she's the lesbian one." I'm straight. FML
Today, my girlfriend slapped me and dumped me because she thought I was gay, simply because I had to miss a date because one of my guy friends was in a car accident, and I went to see him at the hospital. FML
Today, I was at a friend's house; she left the room for a few minutes. Her dad then put me in a headlock and told me that I'd, "better treat his daughter right if I ever wanted to walk again," because she's in love with me. I'm a gay guy, and she knows. FML
Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when I saw my best friend. I jokingly did a double-take and said I didn't recognize him with his clothes on. We laughed, talked a bit, then went our separate ways. My girlfriend later dumped me, claiming I'm blatantly gay and cheating on her. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she's totally convinced I'm gay. When I tried explaining that I can't be if I'm attracted to her, she took it as me thinking she's mannish. FML
Today, my friend accused me of lying about being gay. Why? I happen to ship some m/f couples in the works of fiction I follow. According to her, gay people are inherently opposed to anything heterosexual, and therefore it shouldn't be possible that I like those ships. The kicker? She herself is straight. FML
Today, my friend isn't speaking to me since I came out to her. Not because she's a homophobe, but because she's mortally offended that I didn't confess my love in the process. Seems that everyone who's attracted to women should be attracted to her. FML
Today, while at my friend's house, she had to leave the room for a few minutes. Her dad then put me in a headlock and told me that I had "better treat his daughter right if I ever wanted to walk again," because she's in love with me. Then he left. I'm a gay guy. FML
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Top comments
MidnaLink 33
And this shit is EXACTLY why pride month is still a necessity.
Charlie Given 26
you did the right thing regardless if the person was gay or not and your girlfriend sounds like an absolute moron.
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Comments (6)
MidnaLink 33
And this shit is EXACTLY why pride month is still a necessity.
Charlie Given 26
you did the right thing regardless if the person was gay or not and your girlfriend sounds like an absolute moron.
tiptoppc 19
She sounds like an Ex. I hope…
RichardPencil 30
Good for you for standing up for justice for someone who is most likely not like you. That said, your girlfriend has a point. Knights only fought dragons to rescue damsels in distress because they wanted to bang the damsels. Those are fairy tales, but still...
bidet 10
"fairy tales" - I see what you did there.
Yudith 25
Why don't you open a chapter of the Gay-Hetero Alliance? Or better still, a Straight-for-Gay-Rights Alliance? You could do super straight stuff like tree tossing competition, toilet seat toss, mud wrestling, axe throwing or running after a big wheel of cheese to gather funds for the LGBTQ+ association in your area.
DanielleinDC 33
I hope she's your ex-girlfriend now. Any decent human being would defend a victim of bullying.
mccuish 25
Things like this is why I took forever to come out as asexual.