Miscellaneous: Today, I saw my grandmother. All of my cousins and I went to... - FML

06/11/2009 06:13 - United States

Today, I saw my grandmother. All of my cousins and I went to say "hi" to her, one by one. When I got up to her and said, "Hi grandma!", she said in Chinese, "I don't remember this one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 832

You deserved it 2 564

And today, on Dr Phil…

Walk the line

Money, well, get back, I'm alright Jack…

06/03/2015 03:19 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my mother walked in on me watching porn. As punishment, she sat down and made me watch the rest of it with her as she gave play-by-play commentary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 765

You deserved it 22 191

17/06/2012 04:53 - United States - Lancaster

Spicy

Today, I was reading erotic literature and noticed several errors in syntax, resulting in my mood being killed. I was cockblocked by my need for grammatical correctness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 276

You deserved it 12 128

22/02/2010 09:28 - United States

Today, I was awakened, in the middle of the night, by the sound of crying coming from outside. There's a mile in between houses where I live. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 661

You deserved it 2 607

11/06/2011 06:09 - United States

Today, my mother-in-law visited the house while my husband and I were at work. When we returned, we discovered she'd shredded and thrown away all the scribbled on papers sprawled on our messy desks. We're graphics designers. Those were rough sketches for about 14 different clients. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 317

You deserved it 3 674

The movie of my life

By Anonymous - 19/11/2020 05:02

Today, I learnt my boyfriend has just been using me for character development for the last 5 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 798

You deserved it 106

Kids

By really? - 28/09/2020 14:02 - United States

Today, I noticed my daughter’s sullen mood and asked if there was anything I could do to help. With tears in her eyes, she snapped, “Yeah, you can go back in time and keep that appointment you’d made at planned parenthood!” I never had such an appointment and her older brother is a mean asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 422

You deserved it 123

26/08/2018 13:00

Today, I stepped outside my house for the first time in a year, trying to socialize again. I broke my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 594

You deserved it 297

26/05/2011 17:54 - United States

Today, both of the roads leading to my small town were washed out by rising flood waters. I now live on an island in the middle of Wyoming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 579

You deserved it 3 405

01/03/2010 13:17 - United States

Today, I parked and noticed a car that was identical to mine across from me. I thought it was an amusing coincidence until I came back to find both cars trashed. At least the vandal realized their mistake and left a note saying, "You deserve it for having the same car as that cheater, asshole!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 312

You deserved it 2 815

06/06/2011 00:52 - United States

Today, I went to my high school reunion. I was super excited to see what everyone had done in their lives. The nerdy guy I bullied is now a U.S. Marine and already has two deployments in Afghanistan under his belt. He looked at me in his dress blues and said, "I remember you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 195

You deserved it 134 218

13/08/2012 15:20 - United Kingdom - Edinburgh

Today, my mother screamed at my boyfriend, calling him an "evil piece of self-centred trash". He's a sweet guy who does volunteer work for kids with learning difficulties. She's a bitter, passive-aggressive telemarketer who constantly harasses her own family with sales calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 299

You deserved it 2 171

04/02/2013 05:15 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was dragged to a Super Bowl party. While there, the host's kid threw 3 cups of apple sauce at my feet, which then exploded and covered my jeans. 10 minutes later, the host's wife announced that she was pregnant with twins. All I could come up with was, "You're making more!?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 683

You deserved it 6 492

02/08/2011 23:46 - United States

Today, a friend from work threw a party. We each had to dress up as a deceased celebrity. I thought it'd be a perfect time to dress up as Marilyn Monroe. When I arrived to the party, my boss said, "But... Rosie O'Donnell isn't dead." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 353

You deserved it 6 637

26/12/2015 04:24 - United States - North Myrtle Beach

Today, a customer gave me the dirtiest look ever and muttered "goody two-shoes prick" after I asked if he'd like to donate a few cents to charity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 577

You deserved it 1 808

16/04/2016 16:27 - Canada - Spruce Grove

Today, I ran up to my boyfriend to kiss him when he got home from work. I tripped and I fell on him, and he fell backwards. He ended up hitting his head on the sidewalk and had to get stitches. He also had a concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 425

You deserved it 3 213

23/11/2011 06:40 - Australia

Today, when drunk, I became OCD about everything and spent 3 hours making sure that the books on my shelves were straight. I thought that being drunk was supposed to be fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 957

You deserved it 9 882

03/12/2010 17:12 - United States

Spicy

Today, my mother asked me to drill a hole in one of the studs in her ceiling. Finding it a little odd, I asked her about it. It turns out she's installing the sex swing her boyfriend bought her, and I got to help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 426

You deserved it 3 134

01/04/2015 17:46 - United States - Latham

Today, a coworker and I pulled a April Fools' joke on our boss. She "borrowed" his keys and rolled down his window. I took a car window from a scrap yard and sprinkled it on the ground near his door. His response was to kick the nearest object in anger. The nearest object happened to be my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 205

You deserved it 11 496

01/09/2011 14:40 - United Kingdom

Today, my mum yelled at me for wanting to apply to university courses that she doesn't approve of. I'm applying for Biomedical Sciences and Microbiology, she's an unemployed Jehovah's Witness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 941

You deserved it 2 958

22/07/2009 04:12 - United States

Today, I had a fight with my little sister. Later she apologized and made me dinner to make up for it. I thought it was pretty good until I found out that instead of using Parmesan cheese in the recipe, she used foot shavings from her Ped Egg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 129

You deserved it 6 912

11/02/2013 15:26 - United States - Mansfield

Today, a girl came up to me on the street and said, "You have like no swag, bro." Feeling clever, I said, "At least I have a high school education." She then took out her work ID, showing me that she was a surgeon, flipped me off, then walked away saying, "This is totally going on Facebook." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 850

You deserved it 30 054

10/11/2010 17:14 - United States

Today, I tried opening a can for the first time using a manual can opener. I tried for a half hour to open a can of ravioli, mutilating the can in the process. Only after watching five Youtube videos on how to use a manual can opener did I notice the pull-tab on the top of the ravioli can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 840

You deserved it 65 588

24/09/2009 04:34 - United States

Today, I moved in with an older gentleman renting out a room. Tonight, he had a domestic dispute with his girlfriend who threw a lawn chair at my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 057

You deserved it 2 339

Help

By whyme - 08/12/2010 06:26

Today, feeling so depressed to the point of having suicidal thoughts, I texted a girl I had a crush on. Her response? "Can you please delete my number, you're getting annoying." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 438

You deserved it 19 729

21/07/2011 09:54 - United States

Today, I found out my grandmother has severe road rage after she complained about Pennsylvania drivers for over an hour, then decided to rear end one because he wouldn't get out of her way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 904

You deserved it 2 726

24/09/2012 08:15 - United States - Missoula

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he says, "There's too much of an age gap between us" and that it makes him "feel like a pedophile". He's only four months older than I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 053

You deserved it 2 068

06/06/2011 07:55 - United States

Today, my ex-girlfriend told my entire family and all my friends that we broke up because I came out to her. They all believe her. Twenty two texts and counting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 961

You deserved it 3 741

06/11/2009 23:37 - United States

Today, there was something itching me in my bed, it was the tag to my pillow case. I ripped it off, very hard and slipped and punched myself right in the face. I broke my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 764

You deserved it 10 970

Bad timing

By Anonymous - 21/07/2020 17:01

Today, my daughter locked herself in the bathroom having a tantrum after her boyfriend dumped her. So, out of sheer desperation, I had to sit in the kitchen sink for a pee, which is when my husband walked in with his mother and sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 972

You deserved it 368

Technologically challenged

By Weirdo - 22/11/2020 08:02

Today, once again, my mom chewed me out for, “playing games on the computer all day.” I’m not playing, it’s 3D modeling, and it’s my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 059

You deserved it 58

24/09/2016 13:10 - United States - Federal Way

Today, I was told I needed to start carrying bandaids with me at work because practically every day I hurt myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 116

You deserved it 2 314

02/04/2009 04:36 - United States

Today, my friend was saying how her "nano" died. I quickly responded by saying, "So? Recharge it." Turns out she didn't say "nano"; she'd said "nana." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 511

You deserved it 51 498

30/11/2010 08:48

Spicy

Today, a guy at my work asked if I could fix his computer in his cubicle. The first thing I see on the screen when he logs me onto it is an anime porn game with tentacles. My boss walks by, stares at me and then laughs uncontrollably. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 738

You deserved it 3 679

18/11/2013 23:47 - United States - Rialto

Today, I'm moving from Arizona to Washington State with my 2 cats in my car. I've only just left and just learned that one cat gets carsick and the other stress farts. Only 956 more miles to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 238

You deserved it 6 357

28/11/2015 03:46 - United States - Wilmington

Today, my 2 year relationship ended when my boyfriend accused me of stealing his beanie hat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 332

You deserved it 2 231

16/09/2018 13:00

Today, I was sitting a full bus when a man seated himself next to me. After a few moments, he looked at me and said, "I can smell your vagina, you must be ovulating." I don't know if he was hitting on me or what but I couldn't race out of there fast enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 703

You deserved it 258

11/10/2013 18:22 - Switzerland - Gossau

Today, I tried to catch a train to get to my new job. I was stopped and told that I needed a pre-purchased ticket to enter the platform. The only way to get the ticket, they said, was by buying one on the platform. I arrived by taxi nearly an hour late for my first day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 421

You deserved it 4 000

27/06/2015 04:17 - Canada - Barrie

Today, my husband ruined the laundry once again. He forgot to empty his pants pockets before washing them. Last time he left an ink pen in them. This time it was a strawberry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 192

You deserved it 2 597

25/08/2019 06:06

Today, my mother sat me down and told me, "I'm not going to lie, I hate living with you. Please get a job and move out." I'm 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 042

You deserved it 217

09/10/2009 02:26 - United States

Today, I had my final divorce proceeding. The judge denied my divorce because my husband is unemployed. I can't get a divorce until he gets a job to pay child support. He hasn't had a job for 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 648

You deserved it 3 821

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MermaidSongXOXO 6

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Friday 6 November 2009 12:18

Awww, don't take offense to it. Her memory's just slipping. It would've been worse if she suddenly remembered and said "Oh, yeah--- the mistake."

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Friday 6 November 2009 14:22

Sounds similar to when my great aunt was introducing us four kids... she was like, "This one's Matt, this one's Angelica, this one's Kyle..." then she points to me and says, "and that's... oh, whatever her name is." It definitely sucks.

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Friday 6 November 2009 12:17

maybe you just have a lot of cousins? I know some people who have like twenty

make_me_smile 4

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Monday 9 July 2012 4:51

20 is actually not that many. I have 42

sayyestothedress 24

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Saturday 21 June 2014 23:34

I have 60 on my moms side ONLY!

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Friday 6 November 2009 12:17

sorry for the double post >.

MermaidSongXOXO 6

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Friday 6 November 2009 12:18

Awww, don't take offense to it. Her memory's just slipping. It would've been worse if she suddenly remembered and said "Oh, yeah--- the mistake."

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Friday 6 November 2009 15:47

Haha, good call, MS. Seriously, OP, grandmas' memory fades; don't take it personally.

MiniatureMayhem 0

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Friday 6 November 2009 12:25

lol

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Friday 6 November 2009 12:27

哈哈她怎么能不认识你？

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Friday 6 November 2009 12:49

"Haha, how could she not know you?"

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Friday 6 November 2009 13:36

btw why is it that Chinese is displayed in the comments without a problem, but in PM it shows up as question marks?

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Friday 6 November 2009 14:42

Thank goodness for Google translator. As for how? She's old. It happens. It must be sad when members of your own family don't recognise you. Ask anyone with relatives who have Alzheimers. Looking at it the other way round, it must also be hard to realise that you don't recognise members of your family.

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Friday 6 November 2009 19:04

Why does she need to say it in English? Is it a big problem that people from all over the world type their native language?

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Friday 6 November 2009 20:18

It is important that everyone on the site can understand each other. Since the site is in English, we wish all users to use English in their comments.

Aspie 0

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Saturday 7 November 2009 6:31

那你们考虑设计一个中文版的网站。

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Saturday 7 November 2009 7:52

你说的对啊。

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Friday 6 November 2009 12:27

Auch, that one stings :|

Sun_Kissed18 25

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Friday 6 November 2009 16:12

Not as much as if it was his parents. Grandparents are old and forgetful. Unless it was like his favorite Granny, then I see a problem

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Friday 6 November 2009 12:36

Maybe she said that about all of you. "I don't remember this one- Or this one- Is this one a boy or a girl!?!" lol =)

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Friday 6 November 2009 13:03

*insert obligatory racist joke here*

stupiddumbblonde 0

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Friday 6 November 2009 13:15

that sucks. I'm sorry:/

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Friday 6 November 2009 13:17

*insert we dont give a fuck here*

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Friday 6 November 2009 13:41

If you dont give a fuck, don't comment and go masturbate some more.

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Tuesday 30 August 2011 4:07

You're probably a racist asshole.

Nearly

Today, I just had the best sex in all my life. After that, my ex-girlfriend dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 6

Today, I found out my dog of 11 years has very severe cancer. Her spleen, which has swollen to the size of a football, had a small rupture a day ago and would fatally within a week, we'll be putting her down tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 8

Spicy

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend came out as a polyamorous, and then immediately asked me if he could date another guy I thought was my friend. I’m such a pushover, I said yes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97

You deserved it 316

Today, I have an internal defibrillator from trauma to my heart 12 years ago. I finally experienced for the first time what it's like when it shocks me. Nothing says I'm a keeper like getting kicked in the chest and smacked upside the back of the head with a baseball bat while clapping cheeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 599

You deserved it 69