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Today, my grandparents r in town fir the weekend and r staying in our guest bedroom. This morning I went upstairs to get a drink of water only to see my 75 year old grandfather standing stark naked with the fridge door open. He then asks me if we have any coffee creamer. FML

#1678195
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45239) - you deserved it (2542)

On 05/05/2009 at 9:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I saw someone drive recklessly as if tey were drunk. Wen I called te cops, I got pulled over by anoter cop fir talking on ma cell pone. FML

#1677183
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50803) - you deserved it (15485)

On 05/05/2009 at 9:11pm - money - by airborne (man) - United States (California)

TODAY AS I FINISHED PUTTING SELF TANNER ON MAH LEGS THE PHONE RANG. TELEMARKETER. AFTER RETURNING TO THE BATHROOM I PUTTED MOISTURIZER ON MAH FACE. AS I LOOKED IN THE MIRROR I SOON REALIZED I'D FORGOTTEN TO WASH MAH HANDS. MY FACE IS NOW STREAKY ORANGE. FAT FML

#1675057
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11157) - you deserved it (46218)

On 05/05/2009 at 8:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

yastarday I want to donata blood for tha frst tima . Whan thay stuck tha naadla in mah arm , I had a panic attack and baggad that thay taka it out . Tha woman halping ma told ma sha'd taka it out in a momant and laft . It was than that tha Rad Cross stola a pint of mah blood whila I had a panic attack . FML

#1674851
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46569) - you deserved it (16404)

On 05/05/2009 at 8:22pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

today I pissed my younger brother off. Seemingly unrelated to this was the fact that I left my laptop on in my room along with MSN signed into my email adress. Now, all my contacts know that I apparently "just love the warm feeling of semen sliding down my throat". FML

#1667670
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44323) - you deserved it (30923)

On 05/05/2009 at 5:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked outside to get the newspaper and slipped on the icy driveway. Because I was wearing boxers and a robe, mah legs got all scraped up. After much cursing, I got the paper and went inside. The headline read ( Caution: Icy Conditions ).

#1665462
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48316) - you deserved it (8576)

On 05/05/2009 at 4:39pm - misc - by qwerty (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Luckster's comment : Ouch!! Not a good first impression one bit! I'm sorry!!

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Today a hot girl got into the elevator just as I took a bite out of mah Three Musketeers bar. looool I instinctively smild at her and chocolate drool pourd out of mah mouth. FML

#1658004
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27082) - you deserved it (56332)

On 05/05/2009 at 10:17am - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

TODAY, AFTER LIVING WITH MY MOM FOR YERES TO SAVE MONEY I FINALLY MOVD INTO MY FIRST CONDO . THE DAY AFTER I MADE MY FIRST MORTGAGE PAYMENT THE SEWAGE SYSTEM BACK UP AN LEAKD INTO MY BEDROOM FROM OUTSIDE, RUINING THE CARPETS AN THE WALLS . I HAVE TO MOVE BACK IN WITH MY MOM UNTIL IT’S FIXD . FML

yastarday I was riding my bika with my parants !! Thay maka ma waar a halmat whan I'm with tham !! Soma collaga aga kids drova past and yalld, "Nica halmat!" My mothar than told ma, "Thay lyk you!" I'm sixtaan and my halmat is blua !! With flowars !! raal FML

#1656975
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49865) - you deserved it (8280)

On 05/05/2009 at 8:42am - misc - by dinosawerr (woman) - United States (Illinois)

TODAY, I OVERHEARD MAH MOTHER AN SISTER TALKING SO I STOPPED TO EAVESDROP. I RECENTLY ENLISTED IN THE MARINES, AN THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT WHAT THEY WOULD DO WITH THE MONEY IF I DIED. FML

#1656841
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (166810) - you deserved it (12377)

On 05/05/2009 at 8:22am - money - by Fitz (man) - United States (New York)

Today.. . I was insultd online by a teenager who said that I was probably a fat loser that still lives with there mother an a couple of cats . They were right .

#1656055
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29226) - you deserved it (54576)

On 05/05/2009 at 6:32am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

laestrellita's comment : This is why you don't keep nude photos of your girlfriend. You look and then delete that shit.

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