Work: Today, I lost my job because I was late. I was late because I... - FML

By Really? - 10/07/2010 14:57 - United States

Today, I lost my job because I was late. I was late because I had no alarm. I had no alarm because my roommate got mad and broke my phone when I beat her at scrabble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 835

You deserved it 6 412

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Top comments

AmbrosiaFan 18

Thursday 12 January 2017 23:55

<p>So your alarm is broken, and instead of getting a quick cheap alarm at a store, you...  go to bed hoping you wake up in time, which you didn't... </p>

T1A2Z3 34

Friday 18 May 2018 13:56

Maybe she broke it while OP was sleeping? That would make sense.

Comments

AmbrosiaFan 18

Thursday 12 January 2017 23:55

<p>So your alarm is broken, and instead of getting a quick cheap alarm at a store, you...  go to bed hoping you wake up in time, which you didn't... </p>

T1A2Z3 34

Friday 18 May 2018 13:56

Maybe she broke it while OP was sleeping? That would make sense.

timinator5000 28

Wednesday 17 January 2018 18:13

Is this the first day on the job? In my experience most don't fire after one tardy. Unless you didn't show up at all.

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Miscellaneous Kids Weird Religion Books Parents Annoying Cops Pranks YouTube Health Dad jokes Bodyshaming Love Relatable My ex Allergies Sex Depression Awkward Housework Flowers Intimacy Alcohol Cheating Work Painful Accident Sleep Exhausted

The Top

Aujourd'hui, alors que j'ai surpris mes parents il y a deux semaines pendant leurs ébats amoureux, ma mère m'a surpris en train de me masturber dans mon lit et m'a dit avec un sourire : "Un partout." VDM

I agree, your life sucks 78 461

You deserved it 12 018

Aujourd'hui, mon mari s'est bloqué le dos. Avant de se coucher, je l'ai massé avec du baume du tigre pour le relaxer, puis suis allée aux toilettes pour changer mon tampon. La prochaine fois, je ferai l'inverse. VDM

I agree, your life sucks 11 074

You deserved it 1 738

The Top

Today, on the first day of the first week off together with my family in six months, we’re all quarantined with positive COVID tests. By the time we’re off quarantine, I’ll be back at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 793

You deserved it 133

Today, I had to cancel an appointment due to diarrhea. I was so nervous that when the receptionist asked why, I told her, "I can't stop shitting." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 244

You deserved it 1 727

Today, I was trying out for a position as pitcher for my college baseball team. I threw the ball as hard as I could, and then collapsed to the ground in agony from a dislocated shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 405

You deserved it 5 335

Today, and forever, I've never had a woman try to hit on me, so when my barista asked if I’d like to come to her place after her shift, I didn’t immediately realise she meant sex, so I actually stupidly said, “What for?” She got embarrassed and people glared at me like I was scum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 194

You deserved it 510

Today, I parked my motorcycle in a parking spot. When I came back, my bike had been moved and was laying on its side with a note saying, "Sorry I dropped your motorcycle I was trying to move it forward so I could park my car because there weren't any other spots." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 493

You deserved it 6 666

Today, as my wife loves games, she set me a series of clues leading to our date night, where she's waiting for me. WHY? She knows how bad a problem solver I am. By the time she realised I was going to be hopelessly late, and answered my 50 missed calls, I’d only solved the first 2 clues out of 18 total. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 020

You deserved it 206