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The all-time greatest FMLs

Toasted

By Anonymous - 29/06/2021 16:00 - United States - Rockaway Park

Today, I gave a toast at my friend's wedding. When I said, "Everybody raise your glasses," an industrial fan went off and blew my dress over my head. Now, people won't stop talking about how my "blue granny panties" didn't match my dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 015

You deserved it 202

No need for a reason

By Anonymous - 27/06/2021 04:01

Today, as I was bent over drying my legs after a shower, my girlfriend snuck behind me and pulled a hair off my ballsack for absolutely no good reason. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 015

You deserved it 227

I never thought this happened in real life

By Keith - 19/05/2022 10:00

Today, and since we met, my girlfriend has forced me to change my hair, clothing and jewellery, and my diet. She has changed basically everything about me. Then this morning she dumped me because I'm "not the guy she fell in love with a year ago". I'm not even upset because its too funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 015

You deserved it 304

Sit down, old man

By Anonymous - 23/06/2022 22:00

Today, my husband is sulking because our daughter's first boyfriend is a rugby-playing giant he can’t scare away with the standard father's threat of a good beating unless he treats our daughter well. I married a real idiot manchild. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 015

You deserved it 308

That one friend who changes once they're in a relationship

By Anonymous - 25/06/2021 13:01 - United States - Thousand Oaks

Today, my best friend and my brother are in love. I've been her friend for 10 years, and she’s an absolutely horny whore. She treats me like shit 25/8 now. If I hadn't become friends with her, they wouldn’t have met. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 015

You deserved it 284

Happy Valentine's…

By Country - 12/02/2021 14:30 - United States - Huntsville

Today, I finally got my stimulus check and was big excited to be able to cash it and buy Valentine's Day gifts. The very second turn out of our driveway, dude and I got T-boned. Our only vehicle, with only two payments remaining, appears totalled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 015

You deserved it 180

Losing more than I'll ever have

By Into the darkness - 30/03/2021 21:30

Today, my girlfriend left me. When she moved out, she even took the light bulbs with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 015

You deserved it 120

Let me stay!

By Anonymous - 17/11/2021 23:00

Today, I quit my job, mainly because I didn't work enough hours and thus, earn enough money. In the past, they said there isn't any other paid work they could provide. They've now added different tasks, more money, and more hours to the position. I'm helping to find a replacement for a job I would otherwise apply to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 015

You deserved it 177

Trust your gut

By no more please - 29/06/2022 03:00 - United States

Today, my husband and I once again argued over expiration dates. He says I’m paranoid and wasteful. I finally gave in and ate some food I wasn’t so sure of. Well, his innards must be made of vibranium because I’m currently in the fetal position on the bathroom floor after puking for an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 014

You deserved it 290

It's not me, it's you

By What dont I have - 19/02/2023 04:00

Today, my ex-boyfriend is moving to my hometown so he can be closer to his new girlfriend, my best friend. To pour lemon juice in the wound, he'd told me just 4 months earlier that he would never move to my hometown, thus ending our long-distance relationship of 2 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 014

You deserved it 146

Nothing to be ashamed of

By Anonymous - 14/07/2022 16:00

Today, a friend was trying to show me memes on her phone when I noticed she had a few tabs open. I told her she was draining her battery and should close them. She opened them. Two were sex toy store pages. She was so embarrassed that she kicked me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 014

You deserved it 507

Shut your pie hole, please

By An unemployed doorman - 14/02/2021 20:30 - United Kingdom

Today, I have to listen to my flatmate complaining that ladies don’t shag him anymore since his dad in Saudi Arabia cut him off. Apparently, they show a lot of interest until he reveals his financial situation. The dude actually thought he was God's gift to women instead of a mobile ATM. What a tool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 014

You deserved it 150

Couch fights!

By Butters - 24/09/2022 16:00 - Australia - Lathlain

Today, it's my wedding day. I broke a toe on the couch while turning on the lights in the hotel room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 014

You deserved it 129

Thanks dude

By Cheese - 12/05/2021 00:02

Today, my sausage dog ate my cat's turds and barfed them all over my bed. Try convincing the girl you just brought home to get into bed after that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 014

You deserved it 281

Poor old Johnny

By Anonymous - 25/03/2022 06:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I treated my adult daughter to a vintage record player to celebrate three months of sobriety. Now whenever her boyfriend comes over, they crank up the volume on my old vinyls, and I now have to associate Johnny Cash's "Get Rhythm" with them screwing like rabbits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 014

You deserved it 350

Incognito browsing

By Anonymous - 26/05/2020 23:00

Today, my dad is super overprotective and can view my search history through his phone. I'd downloaded the Google app to be able search for things he wouldn't approve of. I just realized I've been making all these searches on my school account. I go to a private school and they can view my search history. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 014

You deserved it 2 488

Suffer little chives

By Anonymous - 31/12/2020 23:01 - Germany - Zittau

Today, I found out where the puddle in the basement came from. I thought the freezer was broken, but no. My mom is running what can only be called a death camp for vegetables in there. She buys them, then forgets about them until they turn liquid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 014

You deserved it 77