The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year

The all-time greatest FMLs

Too much information, thanks

By Anonymous - 15/07/2023 18:00

Spicy

Today, I’ve had to listen to my parents discovering that they were both cheating on each other. As I left, they were screaming at each other. When I got home, not only had they calmed down, they were openly discussing whether their other partners might be interested in foursomes or swinging. Ew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 021

You deserved it 138

Hallucinations

By MariahJoy97 - 10/12/2020 21:17 - United States - Center Point

Today, I've been awake for so long, I've started to hallucinate. I loudly screamed while sitting in the front row of my philosophy class of 200 students because I thought I saw the Tasmanian Devil zooming around the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 021

You deserved it 574

MariahJoy97 tells us more.

MariahJoy97 16

Friday 11 December 2020 2:16

OP here. This actually happened a couple years ago. I was taking Adderall for ADHD and drinking an egregious amount of coffee. I would stay up for up to 6 days in a row on a regular basis because I was working almost full-time and taking 15 credits of heavy math and science classes and there was no time for sleep. I was going to school in LA and working on my undergrad degree in Biology. I moved back home to Iowa a year later and switched to nursing school which is 10x easier. I'm doing much better now. That wasn't my only hallucination though. I once sat in the middle of the road for several minutes waiting to turn into my apartment because I thought the parking lot entrance was being blocked by a guy wearing a giant easter bunny costume on a riding lawn mower XD

Another Tinder Swindler

By stormblade27 - 28/01/2019 02:00

Today, my friend told me to try dating apps, saying, “What's the worst that could happen?” I just finished paying some girl $100 to not send a dick pic to all my Facebook friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 020

You deserved it 7 472

Classy

By Eww - 17/11/2021 20:02

Today, I decided to be nice and do the laundry for the whole family. Apparently, all the guys in the family have skid marks on both the back AND THE FRONT of their underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 020

You deserved it 152

I'm busy

By Anonymous - 08/03/2022 08:00 - Canada - Emsdale

Today, my Mom was gushing to a relative about going to see a very famous singer with my sister while we were at dinner. I smiled politely, until the relative asked why I wasn’t going. I felt too embarrassed to admit I hadn’t been asked, despite having the money, so I awkwardly made something up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 020

You deserved it 181

Trigger warning

By Anonymous - 17/07/2022 07:00 - United States - Phoenix

Today, my new neighbors moved in. I was assured that it would be a family with two teenagers. The young children playing in the front yard suggested otherwise. This wouldn’t be so bad if I wasn’t autistic, and sensitive to the sounds of screaming kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 020

You deserved it 366

Crushed

By Lia Beckworth Morris - 10/07/2022 15:00 - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Today, I went out with my friends. As I was heading home late, I heard the stop light beeping, meaning I could go, but some cocky prick thought he could drive past before I walked, but nope, I was met with his tire as it ran over my foot. Now I have to go to school with a cast on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 020

You deserved it 178

Mind your own business

By Anonymous - 30/10/2019 12:00

Today, I heard a man call a girl a r*tard. Furious, I stormed up to him and demanded he apologize for using such a vile slur. The girl started laughing her ass off and said, "Mind your own business, r*tard." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 020

You deserved it 3 165

Can't take the heat

By Anonymous - 14/06/2021 00:01

Today, I almost paid off my credit card. Then, a couple of hours later, my air conditioner broke. Found out it’s 12 years-old and leaking Freon. I’m going to have to get a whole new unit, which will cost me $6,500 to $10,050. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 020

You deserved it 95

Wingnuts

By Anonymous - 22/06/2022 10:00

Today, thanks to an electric shock, I technically died for about 50 seconds until my coworker managed to restart my heart. Now my deeply religious aunt and uncle pester me constantly, demanding to know if I met God or saw a white light, or the fires of hell. They’re absolutely fucking relentless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 020

You deserved it 935

Cruel Summer

By Bhrugu - 20/05/2021 06:01

Today, my 20-day summer break started. It was also the day my entire family, including me, tested positive for Covid. I'm typing this in an isolation ward. There goes my summer break. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 020

You deserved it 169

Wiped out

By STIgary - 17/07/2021 16:01 - United States

Today, while at work, I had to poop. While wiping, I somehow managed to get the back tail of my shirt in between my butthole and the toilet paper, effectively wiping my ass with my white dress shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 020

You deserved it 310

Daddy's little girl

By Anonymous - 05/06/2022 10:00

Today, I got into a screaming fight with my little sister. Why? Because I'm getting "too chummy" with our new stepmom, who by the way is a very sweet woman, and has made our dad so happy since they met. But my sister has made up her mind that all stepmothers are evil. She's seventeen and still thinks like this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 020

You deserved it 106

Not now, please

By Anonymous - 01/12/2020 19:01 - Costa Rica - San José

Today, days before my graduation, I got sick with a virus, so I had constant vomit and incontinence. To receive my diploma, I had to wear a diaper and spend the whole graduation drinking electrolytes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 020

You deserved it 115

Time to shop

By Anon - 24/03/2021 00:30

Spicy

Today, I made my whole grocery list out in my head. While having sex with my fiancee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 020

You deserved it 478

Not now

By nexus - 25/09/2021 09:59 - Papua New Guinea

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend gets horny at the most inconvenient times. She woke me up to have sex at 2 a.m. I have work at 6 a.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 020

You deserved it 588

A cute Christmas Eve story

By EpicOracle - 24/12/2021 22:01 - United Kingdom - Gloucester

Today, I realised I'm tired of the bossy attitude exuded by the woman who I once believed was my soulmate. Tonight might just be the last night we'd sleep on same bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 020

You deserved it 212

Cranking

By Anonymous - 21/05/2023 03:00 - United States - Corvallis

Spicy

Today, I cried while masturbating because I genuinely couldn't think of a single person that would fuck me in real life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 020

You deserved it 368

Science has gone too far

By Amanda - 15/09/2021 13:00 - United States - Greenbrier

Today, I went in for a full hysterectomy due to medical issues. I came out being 6 weeks pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 020

You deserved it 180

Preventive measures

By Anonymous - 14/04/2021 23:03

Today, a year after I moved out with no contact since, my former housemates texted me out of the blue to tell me I'm not invited to their wedding. Seems she thought I'd just turn up and "embarrass" myself. I never indicated that I intended or even wanted to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 020

You deserved it 107

Biblical

By Anonymous - 26/12/2021 20:01

Today, my son has a habit of picking on his little brother when in a bad mood. I heard a massive crash and found him out cold with his little brother holding a homemade slingshot and a bunch of rocks. Apparently, in school they just learned about David and Goliath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 020

You deserved it 512

The cure for insomnia is sleep

By insomina - 06/07/2022 18:00

Today, it’s the fourth day in a row I’ve laid in bed for hours with my eyes shut, wide awake, then watched the sun rise. All my parents have to say is, “Insomnia isn’t real. Just go to bed earlier.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 019

You deserved it 114

Switching off

By IantoJones_fml - 24/07/2022 02:00

Today, our eleven year-old Chihuahua died in his sleep. Yesterday, the vet sent him home with us, saying he had mild congestion, and should be fine in a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 019

You deserved it 86

Deal or no Deal

By Anonymous - 16/04/2020 02:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend's farts got so bad that we made a deal: every day that he doesn't fart, he gets a blowjob. Suddenly, he's not letting gas out anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 019

You deserved it 2 142

Cogs in the machine

By Anonymous - 25/09/2021 04:01 - United Kingdom - Lincoln

Today, I was dismissed from my job for my poor absence record. I'd not received any formal warnings, and was dismissed on the spot. My absences were because of my disability. He didn't even ask for medical records. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 019

You deserved it 175

Anger management class is next door

By ComeOnMan - 21/12/2022 09:00

Today, before closing the library, someone came in to use the computer. He apparently forgot the password to his online banking, eventually getting so frustrated that he grabbed the monitor, yanked it from its cables, hurled it across the room, and stormed out. I don’t get paid enough for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 019

You deserved it 95

Get me out of here

By Anonymous - 06/01/2022 20:01

Today, I got a new name, which is “We” apparently. My supervisor keeps admonishing me about details, saying, “WE don’t do that” and, “WE make sure to do this”, while she herself simply does anything she pleases, including the opposite of what she tells me “we do”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 019

You deserved it 131

Pompous twat

By Anonymous - 09/11/2020 06:01 - Pakistan - Islamabad

Today, this guy who I thought was my friend said that my "existence is of minimal consequence," and that I'm "an individual I clearly don't acknowledge." All this after he'd said, "I'm not trying to hurt you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 019

You deserved it 96

The long scam

By Rachelle - 20/07/2021 22:01

Today, I went on a second date with a seemingly great guy. Over drinks, I asked him what his plans for the future were. He replied that he wanted to have at least two kids, so he could start a family vlog prank channel. I laughed. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 018

You deserved it 126

IT'S A CONSPIRACY

By Anonymous - 27/03/2022 18:00

Today, doesn't it piss anybody else off, as well as it seems a bit suspicious, that YouTube adverts will play perfectly without buffering or delay, yet the actual video you wanted to watch can spend almost 5 minutes buffering, and keeps stopping every 10 seconds to buffer again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 018

You deserved it 192

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Health Painful Awkward Kids Cops Miscellaneous Money Insomnia Doctor Family Parents Work Annoying Food Love Friends Relatable AITA LGBTQIA+ Embarrassing First Dates Cheating Frustration Religion School Porn Cars Transportation Sex Ironic

The Top

The Top

Today, my psychiatrist asked me if I felt bad about my weight. When I said no, he looked surprised and said, "Why not?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 027

You deserved it 5 037

Today, I spent all day cleaning for my grandparents to come over, only for my grandfather and father to interrupt me, talk over me, and treat me like I'd done something wrong. I'm autistic and was infodumping. They know this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 990

You deserved it 197

Today, whilst working in a pharmacy, I was given the pleasure of listening to an old lady share the details of what she sticks up her vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 260

You deserved it 2 856

Today, I dropped in on my wife at her part time waitressing job. As I was leaving, I gave her tushie a playful squeeze. I was then tackled by some acne-ridden teenage blockhead trying to impress the hot waitress by beating up the guy groping her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 884

You deserved it 2 778

Today, in the middle of one of the worst migraines of the year, I asked my wife if she could kindly stop trying to tell me about the latest neighbourhood gossip at 130 decibels. Cue her loudly nagging in my ear about how I’m mean for not wanting to spend time with her anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 027

You deserved it 154

Today, during sex, my boyfriend stopped and asked if he could eat a sandwich while we do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 215

You deserved it 4 862