Today, my sausage dog ate my cat's turds and barfed them all over my bed. Try convincing the girl you just brought home to get into bed after that. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dog had REALLY bad diarrhea. I found that out when I woke up to find it all over my bed. FML
Today, I got a new comfy duvet and pillow and was looking forward to a good night's sleep. I got into bed and was followed by my dog, who then threw up the tub of butter he had just stolen from the kitchen onto my brand new bed spread. FML
Today, I invited a girl back to my house and she seemed cool. I then left to go to the toilet. When I came back, there was a giant wet patch on the rug. The girl then blamed it on my dog, whose picture is on the wall. My dog died last week. FML
Today, I went home for lunch. Upon opening the door, I smelled something horrid. My dog had opened his cage, eaten all the dog treats, and had diarrhea all over my bed and bedroom floor. FML
Today, I went to the local pet store to purchase a large dog bed so my dog wouldn't sleep in mine. After I got home and set up her bed, I realized I forgot to buy dog treats. When I came home again, her new bed was torn to shreds, and she was still sleeping on my bed. FML
Today, my dog overturned and ate my trash, leaving coffee grounds and dog puke all over my floor. She also ate the broom. FML
Today, I finally got myself settled into bed around 2 in the morning after a very long day. My cat started to snuggle with me when I smelled something disgusting. Turns out my cat sharted in my bed. FML
Today, I invited this guy I fooled around with over to "hang out". He's "en route", so I start to make my bed only to find my cat thought this was the best time to tell me she's sick by throwing up in my bed. I only have one set of linen. FML
Today, after I spent the evening at a girl's house that I'm seeing, I woke in the morning and put my pants on to leave, only to have her dog's poop roll out of the leg of my pants. This wouldn't be so bad if last week the same dog hadn't left the same treat right where I step when getting out of bed. FML
Today, my sister asked me to let her dog out of the kennel when I got home. I did only to have the little beast bite me. She then ate the entire content of the cat's litter box, which she couldn't keep down. FML
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Top comments
rotflqtms_ 21
You really tried to convince her to get in a vomit turd bed?
Marcella1016 32
Hey no kink shaming 🤣🤣
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Comments (3)
mekiswrite 21
There's always the couch. Or the floor.
Marcella1016 32
Definitely was also my first thought. If you really want it, you get creative!
bleachedraven 14
that's disgusting and hilarious 🤣
rotflqtms_ 21
You really tried to convince her to get in a vomit turd bed?
Marcella1016 32
Hey no kink shaming 🤣🤣
rotflqtms_ 21
😹🤣😂🤮💩😂🤣😹
bleachedraven 14
🤣