Health: Today, I asked my mom if she could buy me some anti-nausea medicine.... - FML

By Shleebs - United States - Hamilton

Today, I asked my mom if she could buy me some anti-nausea medicine. She said, "You just have a stomach ache. It's not like you're throwing up." As she said it, I threw up everything but my childhood memories. She still wouldn't get any medicine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28570

You deserved it

2317

Tweet

Share

Shleebs tells us more :

I actually threw up in her room and in her bathroom. She had to clean it up. I think justice was served.

Sorry…

Bob the Builder

Pompous twat

By NJ <3 - United States

Today, while trying to prove a point to my mom, I learned that bird seed tastes better than her cooking. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26145

You deserved it

3666

Tweet

Share

By lifedoessuck12 - Philippines

Today, I had to wait outside Starbucks. While standing, I started day dreaming and didn't notice I had been staring at a table beside the window for a long time. Suddenly, someone went up to me and said "Try not to be so obvious". Sitting at the table was a girl with a huge cleavage. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42752

You deserved it

11716

Tweet

Share

By OperaLover - United States

Today, I learned that the building I just moved into contains both a drummer and an opera singer. Both are very dedicated to their craft and practice frequently. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32028

You deserved it

3446

Tweet

Share

By Mandy - Canada

Today, my family came to see me in my first acting role in Romeo and Juliet. It all went reasonably well for the first half hour or so, after which my seemingly shitfaced aunt started heckling and saying "that's what she said" after every line, before eventually being thrown out by security. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28713

You deserved it

2423

Tweet

Share

By blueberry_hill - United States

Today, my thirteen month old son woke me up at 6AM on my day off, by punching me in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28717

You deserved it

6100

Tweet

Share

By BritneyFink - Canada

Today, I bought a jacket with real fur on it. Turns out, i'm allergic and now my ears look like they have herpes on them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14278

You deserved it

47595

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Fishers

Today, while picking up a birthday cake, I was screamed at by an upset woman for getting special attention from the bakers, and that I was nothing more than an attention-hogging slut. The bakers are my co-workers and I was picking my cake up on my day off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28754

You deserved it

1930

Tweet

Share

By SchoolSucks - United States

Today, it's my first day at a new school. I transferred here halfway through the year to get away from a girl who bullies me. She's apparently bullied her mom into transferring her here as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46273

You deserved it

3192

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Sweden - Huddinge

Today, I realized why you should never wear a thong under yoga pants that are a couple of sizes too small. It's a weird thing, seeing your co-worker's anus. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27837

You deserved it

3095

Tweet

Share

By clumsyandhungry - United States

Today, we were closing the restaurant early. I begin mopping as a couple walks in. The lady slips and falls, and to avoid a lawsuit, we offer them free food. After they left, I slipped on the freshly mopped kitchen floor with dishes in my hands. I didn't get free food. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25842

You deserved it

8685

Tweet

Share

By crazycatlady - United States

Today, I realized the number of cats I currently have is higher than the number of guys I've ever dated. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23276

You deserved it

18357

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 18/5/2020 17:00

Alexa, play "Cannonball" by The Breeders

Today, I was getting frisky with my husband under the covers in bed. My son decided to run into our room and cannonball on top of my husband. This startled him, which caused him to bite me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1384

You deserved it

244

Tweet

Share

By oh my soul

Today, it's been 1 month since I've accepted that I'm gay, 1 week since telling my strict, southern baptist, bible-thumping parents, 1 day since my mom stopped crying and my dad finally spoke to me, and 1 hour since discovering that I'm pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5740

You deserved it

2006

Tweet

Share

By Tasha84 - United States

Today, I got an electric razor and a lesson from my dad on how to shave my mustache and chin. I also got my period. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43785

You deserved it

4492

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my friend was having a party. It was going good until I got the hiccups really bad, and they wouldn't go away. My friend decided to scare them away by shooting a pellet gun right next to my head. Bad news: It blew out my eardrum. I still have the hiccups. FML

I agree, your life sucks

57714

You deserved it

5137

Tweet

Share

By Lovenem - United States

Today, my girlfriend said "It's funny how every time we have sex I'm wearing these panties." We've been having sex every day for the last six days. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53176

You deserved it

7076

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 9/12/2020 13:02 - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes

Bodyshaming

Today, my coworker doesn't want to go to lunch with me anymore, after I lost a load of weight in lockdown and she's still "overweight." Apparently, I've "changed, and not the same person." FML

I agree, your life sucks

634

You deserved it

46

Tweet

Share

By fffmmll - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend called my vagina "Chewbacca". FML

I agree, your life sucks

33879

You deserved it

56110

Tweet

Share

By ronnieG - United States - Decatur

Today, my wife and I were having a fight, when she grabbed my car keys and threw them over into the neighbors overgrown junk yard. My car is a restored '59 Belvedere and the keys can't be replaced. I've been looking for hours and I still can't find them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

63230

You deserved it

8735

Tweet

Share

By maximus - United States

Today, I was in the line at Chipotle and noticed a very attractive lady in her mid 20's. I deliberately took the table next to her and her friend and happened to overhear what they were talking about. They were both discussing how much diarrhea they were going to have when they got home. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10201

You deserved it

31071

Tweet

Share

By catwoman - Australia

Today, I learned why my bathroom has a horrible, seemingly irremovable stench. My cat doesn't squat to pee like a normal cat. She stands up, peeing over the side of the litter tray all over the wall and floor, which are now a permanent yellow tinge. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28066

You deserved it

5437

Tweet

Share

By cbarr98 - United States - Orange City

Today, I lost all of my male friends at work. Why? The new girl has my same interests and a prettier face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30717

You deserved it

2987

Tweet

Share

By BugDTV - United States - Auburn

Today, I went to open my store but corporate had changed the locks without notice. The store's being sold. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2808

You deserved it

121

Tweet

Share

By drew - United States

Today, I accidentally walked in on my girlfriend changing. She responded by screaming, throwing herself on the ground to avoid me seeing her, and crawling into the bathroom. We've been living together for 2 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38519

You deserved it

5289

Tweet

Share

By rawr101 - Australia

Today, I got a text from my ex: "I miss you." I was happy to hear this, so I replied "Really?" I got in return "Not really, I'm just really horny and thinking of you." FML

I agree, your life sucks

34805

You deserved it

5765

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I had a soccer game. A player from the other team hit me in the face. In the next half, she was the goalie and I was determined to score on her. When I finally got my chance to, everyone cheered, until I kicked the ball into the goal post and it bounced back and hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43771

You deserved it

8867

Tweet

Share

By shart - Canada - Calgary

Today, I had an accident at work. Not the kind involving worker's compensation. The kind involving desperately scrubbing my office chair with paper towels, before going home to change my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18454

You deserved it

2257

Tweet

Share

By confused - Australia - Glen Waverley

Today, I was at University when a giant mascot started walking in my direction. As they walked past, they whispered my name seductively. I still don't know who it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40575

You deserved it

5304

Tweet

Share

By wellthisisbad - United States - Boynton Beach

Today, I learned that not only am I pregnant, I'm too far along for an abortion. My husband and I originally bonded over the fact that we both hate children. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18608

You deserved it

29333

Tweet

Share

By Indigo_Kitten - United States

Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31822

You deserved it

18980

Tweet

Share

By whatever - United States

Today, I was on a third date with a girl. Things had been going really well. At one point, the conversation lulled. After a moment of silence, she asked me what my greatest fantasy was. I told her that it was being a superhero. She told me that she meant sexual fantasy. I'm 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26594

You deserved it

67596

Tweet

Share

By FML - United States

Today, I blushed when a fortune cookie said "You have the attitude of a winner." My self esteem is so low. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27673

You deserved it

4749

Tweet

Share

By feel so dirty

Today, I asked my husband when he first knew he loved me. He replied, totally honestly, that I was the easiest girl he'd ever managed to talk into a one night stand, only instead of doing the walk of shame the next morning, I stayed so long we ended up married with kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5547

You deserved it

1226

Tweet

Share

By BlueyedKat - United States - Huntsville

Today, I gave a presentation to a class of 70+ people. No one bothered to tell me my fly was unzipped. No wonder they were all smiling. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20192

You deserved it

2573

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I had a job interview. I have a nervous tendency to rub my foot against the bar under the table. After the interview I noticed I had been rubbing my foot against the interviewer's leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24425

You deserved it

39226

Tweet

Share

By Jake - United States

Today, I took a girl I like to the movies. Everything went great until I went in to kiss her. She didn't object, but my mother, who apparently followed me to the theater and was now pulling me away by my shirt while saying, "We're leaving!" certainly did. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44794

You deserved it

3439

Tweet

Share

By copenhagen20 - United States

Today, I'm seven months into a twelve month deployment. I called my fiancée, and she dumped me. The worst part is that two days ago, I re-enlisted to go to a unit an hour away from her house. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29118

You deserved it

2480

Tweet

Share

By Undersexed - United States - Washington

Bad sex

Today, my husband complained about my lack of sex drive. Gee, I wonder why, Mr. "Always comes first by humping for a whopping 30 seconds." FML

I agree, your life sucks

16758

You deserved it

2391

Tweet

Share

By Stupid - United States

Today, my manager told me to throw out some of the old toys at the daycare we work at. I can't because I've seen Toy Story 3, and thinking about them in a dump makes me cry. I'm 28. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38059

You deserved it

18552

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Vancouver

Today, I caught my teenage daughter doing her laundry for the first time ever. She had piles of black and white, but then she threw them together in the washing machine. I told her blacks and whites were supposed to be separate, but she just said, "End the segregation, mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks

33771

You deserved it

6105

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By Snaylor12 | 0

#4188201 - Tuesday 20 March 2012 0:13

Nice wording

By Cre3per | 2

#4188827 - Tuesday 20 March 2012 2:02

I'm here! Sorry I'm late, guys. I was bothering some people elsewhere. The apostrophe wasn't necessary, bud. Thanks for trying though.
NAZI AWAAAAAAAY! :D

COMMENTS

By Snaylor12 | 0

#4188199 - Tuesday 20 March 2012 0:13

Nice wording

By Snaylor12 | 0

#4188201 - Tuesday 20 March 2012 0:13

Nice wording

Reply

Cad6 | 24

#4188360 - Tuesday 20 March 2012 0:34

Nice to know that your mom cares about you, OP. FYL indeed.

Reply

comedybreak | 20

#4188369 - Tuesday 20 March 2012 0:36

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

Cad6 | 24

#4188392 - Tuesday 20 March 2012 0:38

^The only stupid wording here was your's.

Reply

zachherbert | 10

#4188580 - Tuesday 20 March 2012 1:12

I don't think the 's on yours was necessary.... I'm not 100% sure though.

Reply

Cad6 | 24

#4188612 - Tuesday 20 March 2012 1:17

Eh I wasn't too sure either...but putting the apostrophe explicates possession. We can just wait till a Grammar Nazi gets on, which won't be too long, cuz the site is crawling with them.

Reply

Cre3per | 2

#4188827 - Tuesday 20 March 2012 2:02

I'm here! Sorry I'm late, guys. I was bothering some people elsewhere. The apostrophe wasn't necessary, bud. Thanks for trying though.
NAZI AWAAAAAAAY! :D

Reply

EpicSquirrel | 0

#4188842 - Tuesday 20 March 2012 2:06

*run run run run run run*

Reply

blackheart24 | 10

#4189133 - Tuesday 20 March 2012 3:04

I loved the wording of this FML.

53- Usually I hate grammar nazis but your comment was fucking hilarious. Thumbs up to you sir.

Reply

hahafylop | 4

#4189562 - Tuesday 20 March 2012 5:19

It was nice wording, but why didn't you throw up your childhood memories as well? I have some badddd memories... *shudder*

Reply

aaahhhfire21 | 0

#4189756 - Tuesday 20 March 2012 6:46

Throw up all over the bitch then say ur right nvm I don't need it

Reply

BradTheBrony | 19

#4197678 - Wednesday 21 March 2012 23:56

Yeah, Uncle Touchy-Touch was really creepy.

By MischievousLoki | 6

#4188205 - Tuesday 20 March 2012 0:13

Maybe try to go on your own? Or ask a friend if they can get you some? Get better soon OP! Try to drink some warm tea with lemon and honey!

Reply

ohSNAPyall | 26

#4188300 - Tuesday 20 March 2012 0:24

It's not a sore throat. Try a fizzy drink; the bubbles help calm your stomach.

Reply

thatKidzmOm | 10

#4188999 - Tuesday 20 March 2012 2:37

Raspberry zinger tea works wonders for nausea.

Reply

ladyLALAA | 28

#4190143 - Tuesday 20 March 2012 9:44

And then call children's services on her ass!

Reply

starbeast | 0

#4191358 - Tuesday 20 March 2012 17:07

Sprite works too. :]

By NotYourOrdinary7 | 6

#4188207 - Tuesday 20 March 2012 0:13

Such a nice, caring mommy you have.

Reply

torch433 | 1

#4188779 - Tuesday 20 March 2012 1:50

wow thts sad lol

Reply

22cute | 17

#4189359 - Tuesday 20 March 2012 4:03

Not necessarily, his mom may know that it's not healthy to stop vomiting due to illness. It's your body's way of getting dangerous stuff out. Unless the nausea is chronic or due to vertigo it's best not to take drugs to stop it.

Reply

spekledworf | 18

#4189846 - Tuesday 20 March 2012 7:29

Sounds like my mom... Got a cut? Need stitches? Super glue it. A fever of 104? Hot sweats and chills? You're still not getting out of chores. Oh you broke your leg? I hope it wasn't the right one cuz you'll need it to drive yourself to the hospital.

By Lauren10102 | 3

#4188222 - Tuesday 20 March 2012 0:15

Next time, aim the barf in her direction.

Reply

Cad6 | 24

#4188510 - Tuesday 20 March 2012 0:58

Like a boss.

Reply

Shleebs | 12

#4188537 - Tuesday 20 March 2012 1:03

I actually threw up in her room and in her bathroom. She had to clean it up. I think justice was served.

Reply

miniman524 | 0

#4188559 - Tuesday 20 March 2012 1:07

Best idea I've heard all day.

Reply

Cad6 | 24

#4188561 - Tuesday 20 March 2012 1:07

#32 - Genius.

Reply

iBiteRoses | 22

#4188888 - Tuesday 20 March 2012 2:14

Nice.

Reply

OHai15 | 12

#4188891 - Tuesday 20 March 2012 2:16

@OP, was a side of kickass served with that justice?

Reply

False_Stupidity | 41

#4192327 - Tuesday 20 March 2012 22:20

I prefer my justice served with a little karma sauce.

Reply

alfred07 | 18

#4229715 - Thursday 29 March 2012 0:55

If OP comments could be thumbed up I would have thumbed up this one.

Reply

TheAspieDork | 27

#6539913 - Thursday 18 February 2016 14:26

Nice. Hope your mom won't be as much of a dick if and when it happens again.

Reply

Salzxx | 8

#6695638 - Monday 26 September 2016 20:36

they can. I did

By ipwnallmen | 10

#4188226 - Tuesday 20 March 2012 0:16

Damn you, irony!
But seriously, get well soon! (did you at least throw up on your mom?

Reply

zingline89 | 18

#4188736 - Tuesday 20 March 2012 1:40

)

By kb021 | 18

#4188245 - Tuesday 20 March 2012 0:17

Wow, what a mother. Hope you're feeling better soon!

By Calyx_fml | 21

#4188263 - Tuesday 20 March 2012 0:19

Never underestimate a parent's power of denial.

By vcapelo | 19

#4188269 - Tuesday 20 March 2012 0:20

I feel sorry for you OP! Maybe if you had free health care she would pick something up!

Reply

lyncecelia | 13

#4188857 - Tuesday 20 March 2012 2:09

You still have to pay for over the counter meds with free healthcare, moron. She wouldn't be getting a prescription.

Reply

Deadzombie | 2

#4189307 - Tuesday 20 March 2012 3:48

Who needs a prescription? Why no just buy pepto?

Reply

vcapelo | 19

#4189986 - Tuesday 20 March 2012 8:45

55# With free health care you'll get a discount on over the counter meds! And btw I were just saying that maybe it's a matter of money!

Reply

lyncecelia | 13

#4191944 - Tuesday 20 March 2012 20:18

98--a bottle of pepto is what, $5? Less if you get the store brand? I doubt it's that hard to get $5 together (even if it's sofa change) for an emergency.

Reply

st0815 | 9

#4197410 - Wednesday 21 March 2012 23:04

Really depends on the System. E.g. in Germany you would pay for prescriptions, though they are subsidised (free for children). In Taiwan prescriptions are free.

By SarcasticUnicorn | 9

#4188273 - Tuesday 20 March 2012 0:21

I hate it when my parents do that to me.