For anyone down voting this, look at OP's user name before you judge too harshly.

Why?

I googled his username and still can't figure out what it means. Is it some reference that I'm just not getting? Edit: nevermind, I thought you were referring to the commenter with the long string of numbers as his username.

I picture op sleeping, when she slips in

And banana.

No one expect the banana

She must not have been a ginger.

I'm sure this is implied, but she's a keeper in the sense that she's one who keeps! Keeper of the wallet, keeper of the keys, etc.

I misread "keys" as "kidneys". Now THAT'S messed up.