By waitwhat - 18/03/2012 20:46 - United Kingdom - Bournemouth

Today, I was browsing some hardcore porn sites. My mum decided to barge into my room uninvited, so I quickly switched tabs. Unfortunately for me, all five other tabs were also parked on porn galleries. Now my computer and phone are confiscated, and I can only get online at the local library. FML
I agree, your life sucks 12 755
You deserved it 60 123

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time to stop watching so much porn

I pity the fool.

Comments

time to stop watching so much porn

That's ALOT of porn. You must have the stamina of a steamboat.

Or to start watching porn at the library. He's got options.

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Dude, you need to get a girlfriend is you watch that much

Your mom did the wrong thing. People are curious. Sexuality should not be hidden. Your embarrassment should have been enough.

20- yea "YOLO" and I'd prefer to live one long life, my mother would end it in seconds if I tried living "like a boss"

Someone needs to get laid ASAP!!

74 So you'd be okay with it if your parents went at it right next to you? Yeah okay just clarifying.

I'd get up and walk away. And that is different, you know it. Your maturity level shows.

The real mistake here was not having a backup plan. Have a second -> window

You do the crime, you gotta pay the time.

Alright 112. You said sexuality shouldn't be hidden, and by watching porn I assume you meant ALL types, however people seem to agree with you more so I'll just leave it at that.

Time to invest in a lock

#199, you have the mind of Albert Einstein, I assume.

...and the title of the video, in boldface print was "Son rapes mom, gruesome wild and greasy"...

Wow, you seem to know a lot about porn..

I've spent too much time around 13 year old boys..

that's what happens when you work in the industry... (just a joke cat, don't kill me!)

Try fapping in public

rick santorum must be crying right now

Maybe his browser settings open every link in a new tab...

Never heard that one before. It made me laugh.

I agree with maddidaddi (sorry if I spelt your name wrong mate). It's natural to look up some porn and jack off. There shouldn't be such a drastic reaction to it unless they are like 12 which I'm assuming he's not. Just talk to him about it. Taking everything away from him seems a bit drastic for something that's natural.

I have a button on my mouse programmed to minimize the window just to avoid such awkward moments ;)

I totally agree. Punishing kids sexual curiosity is what comes from parents who have not come to terms with their OWN sexuality. So on goes the destructive cycle...

Does your local library have any secluded computers hidden where people can't see you? If so, your in luck!

Actually his mom did the right thing. Where did the morals go?

That's for the parent to decide. If his mom is religious or something and doesn't believe in porn, then OP deserves it for not having a better plan in case someone barges in. Personally, I think exploring your sexuality is healthy and the best answer is not to take away their stuff. They should have an open discussion about it.

Now on, keep a tab open...just on case.

What's wrong if they're 12? I got caught browsing porn when I was 12, all that happened is my family laughed at me. It's pretty funny looking back on it now.

Seriously? I'm 18, and my parents revoke my phone/computer if I log on to Facebook or text my boyfriend (whom they approve of highly) after 10:00 on week nights. I can't imagine what they would do if I was abusing those privileges. There is absolutely nothing wrong with setting household rules and expectations with resulting consequences for teenagers- it's called PARENTING.

#74 yeah until he gets a virus on their network. More porn you watch, more li kely you can get a virus.

it's called ALT-F4. Unless you had another window behind that and it also was some hardcore open.

I pity the fool.

Call me B.A Biceps !

Does anyone else realize how pathetic this is?

Mhhh some ERB fan ? No...

...that falls in love with you. oh shit she's a gold digger, just thought you should knoww.

Cuz I crush your whole gang!

Bring Tuesday,Friday and little trolly the train and watch me dip their ass in gold and wear em like a neck chain sucka!

It was a reference to a video not an insult sorry..

Fu*k dude! How old are U? (OP)

Thanks a lot guys, now that song is stuck in my head..

I hope it's understood, get in your van and get the f*ck out of my neighbourhood

#2 nice profile pic. SOMEONE needs a girlfriend.

I'll choke you with your own sweater sleeves! You couldn't beat me in the land of make believe!

Libaries still good :)

Library's (library is) still good. Let's go to all the libraries in town. And I think you should go to the library.

Nah libraries have strict filters. Plus...what kinda creeper goes to the library to try to look at porn?

Until the old lady librarian catches you.

Don't know about the UK but in the US watching porn in a library is now a felony.

Really? I once saw a guy watching porn in my local library. To make things worse, he was watching hentai, and was old and fat.

At my college's library I saw a man watching porn. It was really awkward.

107 then...kinky old librarian sexy times?

#54, you're mistaken. Library's is not 'library is', since adding apostraphy 's' means that the noun beforehand has possesion of the next noun to come up. Unless his name is Library, congratulations, you're a total dipshit.

Yes 206, trying to help with grammar, even though it's (it is) my second language, is worth cursing me out for. Please touch me again by cursing me out more and teaching me my lesson. I hope you feel tough in the end, you deserve that form of happiness.

I don't think the staff would appreciate OP rubbing one out between the shelves.

ew a guy masturbating in the library ummm *shivers*

206 - You're an idiot. The 's is used for both possession and as an abbreviation for is. Some obvious examples include that's, he's, or what's, to name just a few. Take a cue from your username and LEARN before you speak.

And 206 takes the cake it biggest grammar nazi fail I've ever seen.

Speaking of corrections 206 please learn to spell the word apostrophe before calling someone else out on their mistakes you wanna be grammar nazi.

Nice try, but it's apostrophe, not "Apostrophy".

I thank you for the hope you have for me, but you're still mistaken. As I said before, adding the apostraphy 's' to a NOUN (which I think that "it" is not a noun) means possession of. I'm an English major. Don't try and fucking correct me. You're still a dipshit.

They need to take that major away! What are they, handing it out on street corners now? Your English fails. If I said "He's over here.", what does that mean? It means "He is over here". Not over belongs to him. Stop trying to sound smart, you make yourself look worse with every comment.

One more example: If I said "Subway's serving hot dogs.", it means "Subway is serving hotdogs". Now stop calling people dipshits when this language is not even their first. You're disgracing the public education system with your horrid attempts at trying to shove it down people's throats. And you are also making majors sound even more like a load of crap.

352 - You should study more. The possessive singular form of library is Library's.

Someone's a wittle upset about a gwammar mistake, aren't we?

Stop correcting peoples grammar that's just offensive

Stop trying to be funny your just being plan rude

Got enough porn up?

That's why I always keep one softcore porn tab open...just in case :)

I would do the same! :D you deserve it! I don't get people like porn!

It's time to see what the local libraries hardcore porn policy is.

Some people just aren't satisfied with one video at a time.

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He never said anything about his social life Even popular people masturbate man. It's not something specific to nerds and social outcasts.

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Everyone assumes that OP is a guy, girls watch porn and masturbate too!

If only the male international sign was at the top to tell us OP's gender.*sigh*

36: It shows the OP's gender sign. OP is a dude. Does nobody pay attention anymore?

I love when girls bring attention upon themselves in the topic of sex, masturbation, and porn. Prime example; Lauren. BTW, WE GIRLS ALSO LOVE PORN AND BEING ON TOP DURING SEX, YOU DARN SEXISTS!

He didn't even say he was masturbating.

77- Yeah, but let's face it; he probably was :P

I've watched porn, let's face it; we've all done it. But I didn't masturbate. It's a weird thing.

Especially if you're doing it with mom at home and the door unlocked.

117 So masturbation is weird now? Are you not the one that just said the mom did the wrong thing and that you all for open sexuality? I don't know, seems a bit hypocritical.

#56, I find it adorable that although you are talking about sex, porn and masturbation, you use DARN, instead of "damned." You too cute!

Lmao you said it!

Lauren, intriguing picture, if it's not a pipe then what is it?(couldn't see any other writing I have the iPod version)

it is not a pipe. it is a picture of a pipe.

5, Nothing suggests they were sitting there for days or hours, nothing says its even a habit...you may want to make judgements on problems that have some form of real evidence behind them next time.

36 - you fuckin idiot we can see their sex beside the FML (at least i can on my iPod but I'm still pretty sure it shows on a computer or whatever device you have)

How do you know it was a guy

What the guy above me said.

Six?? Isn't that a bit excessive?

stevenJB 25

It was going to be "explosive" if his mom Didn't barge in. :)

105- Maybe it still was......

They were probably just pop ups.

105- you just gave me an unwanted visual 0_o

OP was probably trying to find his computer's limits.

How is six tabs excessive? Open a bunch of videos, let them load, watch in order. I'd say six is low, even.

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What? Use his moms porn videos?

Everyone do that no ?

Yea #7 because every porn addict's mum definitely has her own porn videos.

Everyone watches porn man, especially teenagers, but you have to spare your parents. Masturbate late at night when they're asleep or something. But YDI. You were terribly unstealthy.

You're profile says you have 0 comments, yet I've already seen 2...I'm not sure whether to turn myself in to a mental institution or carry around garlic and a silver bullet....

The second one will work best but always have a back up plan...

No ninja jerking for this mofo. Yea, you need to plan out the porn watching and jerking for times when no one is at the house. Someone needs a mast 101

Yea you're an idiot. Ydi for watching porn with your mom up and about

Yoda digs idiots

Yellow Dingy Iguanas. Here's an example. OP (Optimus Prime), why would you eat that? YDI (as in, Yellow Dingy Iguanas made him do it).

Your Dad's Ignition.

Yawning Douchebags Incorporated

Yucky dicky icky

81- It's you damn idiot.

Young Dying Immigrants

Yodeling demanding intestines

Your Dick Imploded. It's a very rare, but serious case.

You drugged 'im. As in: Why did that naked man dance in my back yard? Well, YDI

You damned impotent... Example: YDI OP. (you damned impotent ostrich penis)

Your porn viewing habits have caught up with you. She probably was just waiting to catch you in the act because she was noticing one arm was becoming much bigger than the other.

hahaha. "Girl look at my right arm." ;) instead of "Girl look at my body. " :3 Also reminds me of Family Guy, when Quagmire discovered internet porn. xD