By 12345678 - United States Today, I logged onto Facebook and saw that I had a message from my ex boyfriend. It's only been two weeks since we broke up and I assumed he sent me a message begging for me to take him back. He wanted to apologize for sleeping with my sister last night. FML I agree, your life sucks 38409 You deserved it 5669 103 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By AtheistLookingforRoomie Today, I had a meeting with a potential roommate to rent a 2/2 space and it was going well. We laughed, joked, and seemed to get along and want the same things. At the end of the conversation, however, he said he needed to "pray" about his decision to room with an atheist. This probably won't work out. FML I agree, your life sucks 6180 You deserved it 1473 32 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By torturedears - United States - Beverly Hills Today, I went to work at a hotel. One of the guests decided to play the piano in the lobby. He's deaf. Unfortunately, I'm not. FML I agree, your life sucks 33255 You deserved it 6637 70 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By AlexB - United Kingdom - Blackpool Today, in an effort to try and get fit, I was doing yoga on my carpet when my foot slipped. It went under my radiator, which peeled the skin off my heel like peeling a potato. FML I agree, your life sucks 16285 You deserved it 1418 70 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By noname - France Today, I wanted to join the bus drivers strike. I couldn't… the buses were on strike. FML I agree, your life sucks 21545 You deserved it 5409 34 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By DumbFace714 - United States - Santa Ana Today, my friend told me she wanted to get pregnant. I thought that was good news, but then she said she wanted my boyfriend to be the father of her baby. FML I agree, your life sucks 38709 You deserved it 2791 111 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By shattysituation - United States Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML I agree, your life sucks 43264 You deserved it 4021 184 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By dogproblems - United States - Charlotte Today, I shaved my beard in preparation for an important work conference. Now my dog won't stop growling and barking at me. FML I agree, your life sucks 29428 You deserved it 3528 48 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By NightzGremlin - 12/9/2020 14:01 No sleep for the wicked Today, I came home from work to find construction workers repaving my street. I work the graveyard shift. FML I agree, your life sucks 1206 You deserved it 88 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By KrazyKill - Canada Today, I faked being sick so I could weasel out of a chemistry test at school. Happy that I pulled it off, I posted my accomplishment on Facebook. I forgot that I'm friends with my parents. FML I agree, your life sucks 6978 You deserved it 74783 193 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Angus - France Today, my son had a secret party. At first I was mad, then I had a complete and total Incredible Hulk meltdown when I realized that he had opened a bottle of very expensive whisky, originally bottled by my great great grandfather in Scotland, and used it as a mixer with fucking Pepsi. FML I agree, your life sucks 37836 You deserved it 2638 186 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By cats before idiots Today, I brought my boyfriend to my house for the first time. He freaked out when he saw my cat, and had to leave because he's allergic. I've posted many pictures of my cat in Instagram, but he didn't say anything about his allergy because he thought it was just a random cat. FML I agree, your life sucks 2242 You deserved it 251 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 14/1/2021 14:01 Taking sides Today, after months of not wanting anything to do with her dad, my three-year-old was over her phase. During dinner, I play-shoved my husband and he did it back. Our daughter saw him and now keeps saying, "It’s not nice to push mommy." We’re back to square one. FML I agree, your life sucks 679 You deserved it 232 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I got this huge package at my college dorm from my parents with candy, chips, canned soup and all these goodies. When I called my mom to thank her, she replied "We got rid of your cat, Annie". FML I agree, your life sucks 42113 You deserved it 2567 53 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Useless Key Today, my sister couldn't find the spare key I gave her for my apartment, so I had to pay a $50 fee to the leasing office. Not 30 minutes after paying, she found the key. In her purse. On her keychain. FML I agree, your life sucks 2946 You deserved it 303 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By tortured Today, despite using deodorant religiously and showering twice a day, my roommate still smells so bad that every time she enters the room I become physically sick. FML I agree, your life sucks 2859 You deserved it 229 23 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was sitting on the bus when a good looking girl accidentally brushed her ass up against my shoulder as she walked past. This only made me realize that this has been the closest I've come to touching a girls ass in over a year. FML I agree, your life sucks 31394 You deserved it 6193 86 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By christinabear - United States Today, I was woken up to my mom playing the piano awfully. I screamed down the stairs "you suck, stop playing!" Turns out it was my 5 year old cousin playing a recital. For my entire family. FML I agree, your life sucks 18836 You deserved it 88628 153 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML I agree, your life sucks 110508 You deserved it 13040 361 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ouch - United States Today, I was on the bus when a really cute guy came on. The only seat left was the one next to me, so I smiled and waited for him to sit down. He looked at the seat, looked at me, and opted to stand until his stop. FML I agree, your life sucks 34047 You deserved it 4857 151 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By notfatanymore - Germany Today, the guy I've recently started seeing confided that he's relieved I'm on the heavier side, and that he has a thing for watching chubby women eat. I just reached my ideal weight after losing 40 pounds. FML I agree, your life sucks 38253 You deserved it 4070 117 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By DogLover - United States - Watertown Today, I learned that my big, tough, strong dog is terrified of spiders when he jumped, knocked over a table and then peed on the spider to drown it. FML I agree, your life sucks 35458 You deserved it 4791 114 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Sick - Netherlands - Ede Nice bird Today, a bird shit on my jacket whilst smoking, I cleaned it and went back outside, and got shit on again. FML I agree, your life sucks 1699 You deserved it 908 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, it wasn't until I heard something fly off the roof of my car and hit the trunk, then asphalt, that I remembered where I left my phone while unlocking the car door. FML I agree, your life sucks 29791 You deserved it 36686 78 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By humanshield - United States - Rockland Today, while working my job as a swim instructor, my coworker sprayed me with the hose. I instinctively held up what I was holding to block the cold water. I was holding a 4 year-old. FML I agree, your life sucks 20155 You deserved it 5092 43 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Jim - United States Today, I decided to ask my girlfriend of 3 years to marry me. I made brownies with walnuts and put an engagement ring into the brownie I gave her. Not only did she choke on the ring, but on the way to the emergency room, I find out she is highly allergic to walnuts. FML I agree, your life sucks 34197 You deserved it 82417 257 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hoho5191 - United States Today, I was at a friend's party. Her neighbor and I really hit it off. We went off into the woods and left everyone, including her parents, at the bonfire. We started hooking up when my friend ran over. Apparently they could see everything. We had on glow stick necklaces and bracelets. FML I agree, your life sucks 13017 You deserved it 69135 129 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Nuneaton Today, I found out that my fiancé's sister, who only got engaged a couple of months ago, is getting married before us. I wouldn't have a problem with this if she wasn't planning her wedding to be exactly like ours will be. FML I agree, your life sucks 25616 You deserved it 1870 83 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my own boyfriend admitted that he can't name one single thing he likes about me without naming something "physical." FML I agree, your life sucks 30672 You deserved it 6435 109 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 11/8/2020 08:01 Gig economy Today, I remembered that I chose my career of the last decade because, unlike my job in the dying newspaper industry, "concerts aren’t going anywhere." FML I agree, your life sucks 1393 You deserved it 146 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ido - Canada Today, I proposed to my girlfriend from the top of a bungee jumping platform at an amusement park. I yelled out, "WILL YOU MARRY ME?" from the platform, pointing her out. Turns out, I was pointing at the wrong girl. My girlfriend was very angry and ran away when the wrong girl yelled, "Yes!" FML I agree, your life sucks 38904 You deserved it 16074 170 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By RedLion23 - United Kingdom Today, good news! The guitar I have been saving up for, for 5 months, finally arrived. It came inside a beautiful black and white case, and impossible to get into without the key. They didn't pack the key. FML I agree, your life sucks 38145 You deserved it 2901 113 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By advanced history teacher - United States - Phoenix Today, I asked my class to name some West African countries. Several of them thought Ebola was a country. I teach an AP history class. FML I agree, your life sucks 37219 You deserved it 4098 174 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By markerThief - United States - Apple Valley Truth hurts Today, I jokingly told my friend that I was the kid who stole his brand new glow-in-the-dark markers back in kindergarten. Now he's ignoring my texts and calls and says we're through. So much for our twelve years of friendship. FML I agree, your life sucks 44306 You deserved it 10938 84 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Clarksburg Today, while on the bus, I took out my breath spray. The elderly lady beside me thought it was pepper spray. She panicked and started screaming, which culminated in the man near her punching me in the jaw. FML I agree, your life sucks 25648 You deserved it 1934 74 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Corona Today, I nearly got written up at work for missing an important memo. The memo was sent to everyone via the company Facebook group and not by our e-mail system. My manager could hardly believe people exist who have no Facebook account and have no intention of making one. FML I agree, your life sucks 26854 You deserved it 2389 97 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, at the rehearsal for my wedding, my mother told my bride's mother to fuck off. FML I agree, your life sucks 81262 You deserved it 4180 82 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, a kid came Trick-or-Treating at my house. When I told her it was still one more day until Halloween, and that I didn't have any candy, she wound-up her fist, punched me in the groin, and ran off laughing. FML I agree, your life sucks 30307 You deserved it 4043 94 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - San Jose Today, I complimented a player in a game who protected my ass the whole match. As a joke, I told them to marry me. Turned out the person was a horny 40-something lesbian stalker who spent the next 5 hours sending me pictures and trying to find out where I live. FML I agree, your life sucks 31188 You deserved it 6225 75 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By stupiddog - United States - San Francisco Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML I agree, your life sucks 58230 You deserved it 5252 140 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Emma1562 | 35 #7537526 - Tuesday 5 September 2017 3:36 That's why you don't do hair and makeup to go into the pool. It's useless. Send a private message 4 1 Reply
By jfsiv | 17 #7537805 - Tuesday 5 September 2017 22:14 I like how she readjusted afterwards to show off her tits again. :D Send a private message 2 0 Reply
By Emma1562 | 35 #7537526 - Tuesday 5 September 2017 3:36 That's why you don't do hair and makeup to go into the pool. It's useless. Send a private message 4 1 Reply
By Jim Martin | 7 #7537724 - Tuesday 5 September 2017 18:09 Looks better with her hair wet Send a private message 1 0 Reply
By jfsiv | 17 #7537805 - Tuesday 5 September 2017 22:14 I like how she readjusted afterwards to show off her tits again. :D Send a private message 2 0 Reply
By bluebaldbadbih | 4 #7538300 - Thursday 7 September 2017 1:58 "Not the food" ??? Send a private message 1 0 Reply
By Ciara Koch | 21 #7538409 - Thursday 7 September 2017 9:40 Your still hot Send a private message 0 0 Reply
Today, my fiance told me that his father would need to check my hymen is intact to ensure I'm pure before we get married. This is a new one. FML I agree, your life sucks 764 You deserved it 78 15 Comments
Today, we're in the middle of a contagious deadly pandemic, and despite not having physical/sexual contact with anyone in over a year, I managed to contract... I agree, your life sucks 683 You deserved it 63 2 Comments