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The all-time greatest FMLs

Rocks

By Anonymous - 05/02/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I baked my boyfriend his favorite cookies for his birthday. Well, I tried. I followed the recipe, but they somehow turned out diamond hard. When he tried to bite into one, he chipped a tooth. Instead of being mad, he laughed and said, “At least you tried.” Now I’m stuck with inedible cookies and a dentist's bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 150

Too late

By Kelly - 09/10/2025 09:00

Today, I stayed late at work to finish a project. The lights are motion-sensor activated, and they turned off while I was in the bathroom. I stumbled out in total darkness and screamed when I saw a shadowy figure. It was the janitor. He screamed too. We both apologized to each other for way too long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 100

Nice guy

By HateCelebz - 27/01/2026 00:00

Today, I got written up by my line manager for being too friendly to customers. I work in retail, my job is to be friendly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 53

Wurdz is hard

By Anonymous - 18/07/2024 12:00 - Ireland

Today, during a job interview, the interviewer asked me to "tell me a little about myself." Nervous, I started with, "Well, I was born at a very young age…" I'm pretty sure I won’t get the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 209

I can fix him

By Anonymous - 05/10/2024 22:00 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, I realised I'm like the Mary Poppins of dating. I keep meeting these broken men, I help them through their stuff, only for them to date someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 137

Ripped

By Anonymous - 17/07/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, I’m sick and tired of women disrespecting my relationship. They come up and openly flirt with my man right in front of me, because no one thinks we’re together. I know it’s because he’s ripped like a Greek god while I’m 300lbs. He loves me as I am, I just wish other people would get it too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 210

Ain't no way

By sigh... - 21/12/2024 09:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my mom offered to drive us into the city after Christmas. I told her months ago that I wasn't getting in a car she was driving, because I don't trust her not to secretly drink and drive. I guess she either forgot or didn't think I meant it. Now I have to tell her again, two days before flying down there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 96

Madhouse

By Anonymous - 24/01/2024 09:00 - Germany

Today, I was trying to get some sewing done and learned that the absolute least efficient way of realizing a project with lots of moving parts is to have either a toddler or a fun-loving pet see what you’re doing and decide to “help” with this exciting venture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 166

Pipe down!

By Anonymous - 23/02/2025 20:00 - Canada

Today, I woke up to the sound of my roommate vacuuming at 7 a.m. I was annoyed because I had stayed up late, but then I realized she was vacuuming in the kitchen… at 7 a.m. because the broom "wasn't powerful enough." I gave her the benefit of the doubt until she started vacuuming my bedroom floor while I was still in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 98

What's going on?

By Damn - 26/06/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I found out my dad goes to therapy. Confused, I asked him what was going on. He said, "You" without any hesitation. I don't know if he's joking or not. If he is, I don't find that very funny. If he's not, I don't even know what I've done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 180

Cool moves

By Anonymous - 18/10/2024 12:00

Today, on my first day as a substitute teacher in a high school, I split the seam of my trousers in front of 30 teenagers. I had nothing spare so I spent the rest of the school day with my raincoat tied around my waist hiding it. I’m here for two weeks and already I’ve lost their respect FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 91

Get up, stand up!

By Can't win - 12/08/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, since I've been told (and am well aware) that I'm too nice, I've been trying to become more assertive. The only trouble is that I find it to be almost impossible, especially because my friends are always asking what my problem is when I stand up for myself. Isn't this what you wanted? FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 94

Meandering

By Kate & Nate - 29/11/2023 14:00 - United States

Today, I tried a new recipe for dinner. However, the recipe was written by someone with a penchant for overly dramatic storytelling. I spent the entire evening deciphering the narrative while desperately trying to salvage a dish that ultimately tasted like disappointment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 223

So… what now?

By Anonymous - 27/10/2023 04:00

Today, after we recently married, my husband wanted kids and I didn’t, so we agreed we’d have at least 5 years child free, then have one child and one only. I just tested pregnant. Despite all our precautions, I actually got pregnant on our honeymoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 325

Fake it til you make it

By Anonymous - 20/01/2024 15:00 - Germany

Today, it's the day I instantly got a much curvier backside, after doing butt-workouts for a year. Too bad the effect is a) one-sided and b) temporary: Just a giant bruise from falling on my butt on the ice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 137

Thanks for the memories

By How - 02/10/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I was expecting a package from a few days ago, but it still hadn't arrived. As I was going to work, I found it at my grandma's house. Why didn't my grandma tell me, you ask? She died last year. My package was mistakenly delivered to A DEAD PERSON. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 125

Little wins matter

By Anonymous - 22/12/2020 14:06

Today, after our Christmas plans got cancelled because of COVID, to make ourselves feel better we made travel plans somewhere else, which also turned into a red zone the night before our departure, we are now going out for breakfast as our highlight of the year. Thankfully they are open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 1 248

One happy family

By Anonymous - 07/11/2025 12:00

Today, I realized whether it's my father, step-bro/sis and even my own mom don't care what happens to me. I stayed away from drugs, have a marriage that is great and kids I love, but none of them can look at me in any way because I have my father's blood. They have no idea I'm extremely suicidal, because I'm quiet about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 109

The old bait and switch

By Duped - 27/08/2021 14:01

Today, I bought a Playstation 5 on OfferUp. Upon taking the PS5 home, I opened the box and in its place were some dirty old shoes. The seller had also erased all her info from her OfferUp account and replies an obviously fake, "Automatic: The user is no longer available" message when I try to reach her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 1 120

Moral panic of the day

By I don't even like Roblox - 22/08/2025 09:00 - Netherlands - Amsterdam

Today, I came home to my frantic mom boxing up all the family electronics. She'd heard about the Roblox lawsuit and is now convinced that every inch of the internet is crawling with pedophiles. Now my two little brothers are throwing earsplitting tantrums and I have no way to drown them out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 85

Cute

By Zai Sensei - 13/12/2025 12:00

Today, an anonymous complaint got me not only in the brink of getting fired, but also possible incarceration. I'm a preschool teacher. What happened? As I saw my students off, one of my students suddenly gave me a kiss goodbye (on the lips) as she happily ran off. Someone who saw that probably wasn't pleased. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 79

What happened next?

By Broke boy - 26/06/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I was in a public toilet stall and realized too late that there was no toilet paper left on the roll. I had to awkwardly shuffle around in a panic, knocking on the stall walls to ask for help. The guy in the next stall over gruffly said, “Dude, be a man, just use a sock or something.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 126

Holy crap

By Anonymous - 14/07/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I’m at my third ER visit in a week for an extremely painful ovarian cyst. The people next to me are reading aloud from a Christian Science book. I’m in hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 93

Idiot tax

By Dumbass - 16/11/2025 20:00

Today, my boyfriend came home, complaining about not having enough money for bills. He then pulled a stack of lottery tickets out of his bag, saying, "I hope one of these wins." FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 87

Coming or going

By Anonymous - 21/05/2026 09:00 - United States - Rowlett

Today, my job transfer was canceled literally as we were getting in the U-Haul. While my kids celebrate that they don't have to leave their friends and everything, my wife and I are fighting like cats and dogs over the huge mess this shit created. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 58

Hangry boy

By Anonymous - 17/01/2024 22:00 - Germany

Today, my mom’s greedy cat stole some milk I had left on the countertop, completely undeterred by the fact that not only was the milk in a plastic bag, it was also frozen solid. Yep, he actually managed to eat it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 148

Knock yourself out

By Anonymous - 10/08/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, my package with two brand new toys got delivered to the wrong apartment. Somewhere in this apartment complex, a stranger is either judging me or having the best day of their life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 103

Dodge

By Steve - 17/12/2025 00:00

Today, a girl I knew in high school who now lives out of state came to town to visit and stay over. We've been talking albeit romantically for the past few months. Not thirty minutes after we arrived at my place from the airport, her ex-boyfriend came by and she hopped in his car. I haven't heard from her since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 104

Don't follow your dreams, kids!

By Anonymous - 06/07/2025 20:00 - Belgium - Schelle

Today, after years of study and hard work, I fulfilled my long time dream of becoming a neurologist. Too bad it took me so long to figure out I absolutely hate working in a hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 138

Daddy issues

By Tom - 29/12/2024 00:00 - Canada - Etobicoke

Today, I ended a relationship because she told me that I was "like a father." FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 146

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The Top

Today, I invited an acquaintance over for tea. When he came in, I told him to make himself at home. He took it literally and now half of my pantry is messed up, my boyfriend's chocolate supply is gone, and I'm pretty sure our couch is broken. Thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 730

You deserved it 3 707

Today, I found out that my over-controlling parents would be moving in next door. I'm almost 23, and moved 5,365 km away to get away from them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 214

You deserved it 1 949

Today, my girlfriend smelt my penis after I got back from the gym. She was making sure it didn't smell like latex. I can't even go to the gym without her thinking I'm cheating on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 194

You deserved it 10 293

Today, I was with my seven year-old daughter purchasing my husband a present for his birthday in a few weeks. At the register, in the very long line, I asked her where we could hide his present so he wouldn't find it. She loudly responded, "Hide it in your room! He never goes in there!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 711

You deserved it 5 045

Today, I had to quit my job. Why? Because I don't have a babysitter anymore. All I did was tell them I didn't want them mocking my baby when he cries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 148

You deserved it 342

Today, I have to wake up in 3 hours for work, the medicine that should've made me sleep 8 hours straight failed and I woke up an hour later, not being able to sleep anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 898

You deserved it 73