Today, as a student in a science preparatory class and a geology enthusiast, I walked into a rare stone shop. A saleswoman was praising the healing properties of a piece of malachite to a customer. Curious, I looked over my shoulder and exclaimed, "Oh! Raw copper ore!" I got banned from the shop. Occupational hazard. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I picked up a rock outside and put it in my pocket because it looked cool. A teacher holding the door open stopped me and sent me to the principal. I was confused and asked the teacher why the strict action. She replied that someone has been putting rocks in the toilet. I got a detention. FML
Today, I was at my job where we buy precious metals. A man came in and said, "Here, I have something special for you." He then pulled a tooth out of his mouth that had dental gold on it and placed in it my bare hand. Yeah, special indeed. FML
Today, I spent five hours extracting gold flakes from river sand. When I took it to the pawn shop, the dealer laughed in my face and said it was Fool's Gold. FML
Today, I was throwing rocks into a pond while our class was on a field trip. The teacher started to pass around an old rare civil war bullet. As the bullet got to me, I threw another rock in the river, only to notice a rock in my hand and the bullet gone. FML
Today, I got suspended for bringing a "hazardous weapon" to school. They were earrings. FML
Today, while working in my pawn shop, I was showing jewelry to a distinguished lady. I had to fart. I tried to wait. It was too much, so I let it slip silently. As she handled a $2000 necklace, I realized that the 2-foot counter between us would never save her from the foul poisonous cloud that had formed. She realized it too. FML
Today, at work, a customer told me that my teeth would make a very pretty necklace. FML
Today, at work, a customer pulled down her pants and lifted her sweater to reveal a hole in her chest full of greenish, stinky goo. I don't work in anything health-related. FML
Today, a student set me on fire while I was lecturing my class about proper lab safety. FML
Today, I had to ask one of my coworkers if we were supposed to return a client's teeth to her. I work at a jewellery store. FML
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Top comments
DLBL 23
Healing Rocks. Eye roll. In a big city hospital, my patient's family brought a "Healing Rock" to his room. It had to be 25 pounds, and just plain grey. Nothing special. You got banned for saying that, and breaking the spell the shyster was casting over her customer.
IantoJones_fml 30
r / iamverysmart would love this.
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Comments (2)
DLBL 23
Healing Rocks. Eye roll. In a big city hospital, my patient's family brought a "Healing Rock" to his room. It had to be 25 pounds, and just plain grey. Nothing special. You got banned for saying that, and breaking the spell the shyster was casting over her customer.
IantoJones_fml 30
r / iamverysmart would love this.