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Today, I'm in the hospital and it's been 44 hours since I've eaten anything. My doctors won't let me eat and my parents are sitting across the room, eating. FML

#20171321
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25220) - you deserved it (1672)

On 11/20/2012 at 6:25pm - health - by RayneSong - United States (Michigan)

Today, my son displayed an interest in chess, and asked me to teach him to play. Five minutes in, I captured his queen. He screamed "SCREW THIS STUPID GAME", slammed his fist down on his pieces, and started crying because of the pain. He's fourteen years old. FML

#20019380
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25219) - you deserved it (4425)

On 08/13/2012 at 8:55pm - kids - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was eating lunch naked at my home watching porn on the big screen. I heard the garage door opening meaning my roommate was coming home. In my haste to get dressed, I fell back in the barstool I was sitting in and knocked myself out. I woke up still naked and with lettuce all over me. FML

#278861
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25218) - you deserved it (77328)

On 03/11/2009 at 8:26pm - intimacy - by HansonLUVR (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I fell down a flight of stairs. The guy behind me was kind enough to ask if I was okay. He then called his friends over so they could laugh at me. FML

#14576368
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25218) - you deserved it (2872)

On 01/14/2011 at 9:18am - misc - by ValeyFallsAlot -

Today, I woke up with a vicious hangover. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't woken up to dozens of cans strewn all over the floor. I don't remember buying half the store's supply of pork and beans. FML

#21304482
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25218) - you deserved it (8502)

On 11/23/2014 at 1:22pm - misc - by college student - United States (Ohio)

Today, I arrived in Africa to start my new job. I agreed to come to a city with little to no electricity, and poor water for triple the money I was making in Canada. I just realized my boss and I negotiated in two completely different currencies, and I'm now making half of what I used to. FML

#17364992
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25215) - you deserved it (39103)

On 08/04/2011 at 7:45am - work - by Depressed (woman) - Sudan

Today, I started at my first job. Within the first five minutes of arriving, I was followed around by a white guy who repeatedly sang to me, "Black people love making music" along with a few of his own songs. It resulted in me getting fired for bringing my "boyfriend" to work. I didn't even know him. FML

#20163535
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25214) - you deserved it (1878)

On 11/14/2012 at 8:04pm - work - by sarahijklmnop (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I pulled a girl out of the way of a car. She yelled at me because I made her drop her phone, which then got run over. FML

Today, after months of teaching my parrot to speak, he finally demonstrated his abilities. I accidentally set off my smoke detector, and he's been wailing like a dying banshee ever since. FML

#19260934
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25213) - you deserved it (3639)

On 03/11/2012 at 11:04pm - animals - by weep weep weep (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I realized the reason my 20-year-old daughter has been so moody and aggressive is because she missed the promotional My Little Pony toys at McDonald's. FML

#19430484
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25211) - you deserved it (4990)

On 04/08/2012 at 2:55pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told me he always thought the female orgasm was an urban legend. FML

#5735053
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25209) - you deserved it (3835)

On 10/09/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by 310 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my dad and his new "girlfriend". A couple days ago I realized that my sexy clothes that my boyfriend had bought me for our anniversary was missing. Guess who was wearing it? FML

#6161509
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25209) - you deserved it (2049)

On 11/05/2009 at 12:06am - intimacy - by Meggie - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my satan-spawn of a step-son proudly showed that he can pee accurately while standing up. I'd be less livid if he hadn't pissed on me while I was asleep in bed. FML

#21450786
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25209) - you deserved it (2409)

On 08/02/2015 at 7:39am - kids - by Wlanla (man) - Romania (Bacau)



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