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Today, I went to buy some Ibuprofen and got asked for ID. You have to be over 16 to buy it. I'm 25. FML

#2946
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20536) - you deserved it (2407)

On 01/28/2009 at 12:21am - misc - by noneoftheabove - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, after going to the beach with my guyfriend, I thought I looked pretty good infront of him in a bikini. Later he whispered in my ear, "You have a lot of hairs sticking out of your bottom". FML

#4405675
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20531) - you deserved it (42775)

On 08/09/2009 at 10:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I went to see my new dentist. He was really cute, so after the checkup I started flirting. He stopped me right after I asked him out, saying, "Being a dentist has its advantages, I can see the girl's mouth before I stick my tongue in it. And in your case, it's a big no." FML

#20470654
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20530) - you deserved it (41086)

On 01/21/2013 at 1:32am - love - by black and yellow - United States (California)

Today, I had to convince my 28-year-old boyfriend to take down his booger wall. FML

#19584469
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20530) - you deserved it (4863)

On 05/06/2012 at 10:03pm - misc - by fock (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dog was licking the dishes in the dishwasher when his collar got stuck on it. Then he got scared of the dishwasher rack following him and ran away really fast. Now I have no dishes. FML

Today, I woke up to find that my cat had knocked over a $35 can of powdered baby formula, and there were TWO different colonies of ants warring over the bounty all over the counter. FML

#13930186
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20527) - you deserved it (3695)

On 11/21/2010 at 9:51pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, when I was at the gynecologist my dr told me that I was really tense and the exam would be impossible if I didnt relax. So I started thinking about my boyfriend to relax and my mind went back to our last sex session. I started getting wet. FML

#467270
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20526) - you deserved it (64522)

On 03/19/2009 at 3:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, a small kid looked at me, screamed in terror, and hid behind his dad. I was just walking down the same aisle in the store. This is far from the first time it's happened. FML

#20051755
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20526) - you deserved it (2720)

On 09/01/2012 at 12:07am - kids - by KidKillah - United States (California)

Today, I was cleaning the windows at work and a guy walked in so I opened the door for him. After I opened the door, he stood there with his eyes closed and his arms open. I thought he wanted a hug so I hugged him. Apparently he wanted me to spray him with Windex. FML

#19409952
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20524) - you deserved it (2921)

On 04/05/2012 at 12:13am - work - by Kait - United States

Today, while my mom was out, my family agreed upon the assumption that she has a "shopping problem." I argued against it for quite a while, until she pulled up minutes later with a what seemed like a life-time supply of canned condensed milk. FML

#13016642
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20522) - you deserved it (4348)

On 09/12/2010 at 7:34am - money - by concernedson - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got a tattoo of the snake and staff medical symbol on my wrist. Now everyone keeps asking what illness I have; they think it's a medical bracelet substitute. FML

#20666917
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20520) - you deserved it (36810)

On 05/16/2013 at 11:01am - misc - by Calaraphea (woman) - United Kingdom (Warrington)

Today, a friend of mine and I were talking about how hygienic we are. She mentioned she hadn't shaved her downstairs in a while. I was looking at the computer when she said this so when I turned to look at her I saw she had pulled down her pants and underwear. I was face to face with hairy muff. FML

#6646693
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20519) - you deserved it (3535)

On 12/07/2009 at 4:30am - intimacy - by roxyriley - United States (Arizona)

Today, every time I write the word "analyst," I can't help but giggle because it begins with "anal." I'm 24, and studying to be a conflict analyst. FML

#20886867
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20517) - you deserved it (31133)

On 09/18/2013 at 6:59pm - work - by Sunny (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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