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Today, scarcely having time to look at myself, I quickly got dressed and went to work. Only when I got there and saw my reflection in the bathroom mirror did I notice that the colour and detail of my black lacy bra could easily be seen. I work for a construction company. Full of men. FML

#14882987
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10373) - you deserved it (26099)

On 02/07/2011 at 2:57pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend called me in the middle of the night and told me he got mugged and was on his way to the hospital. I told him to fuck off because that was a horrible April Fool's joke. He asked if I wanted to talk to the paramedic. I told him to stop bothering me. Turns out it was true. FML

#764209
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10372) - you deserved it (116475)

On 04/02/2009 at 9:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I lost my house keys while staggering home drunk, so I decided to climb through an opened window and promptly went to bed. Twenty minutes later the police wake me up while attempting to search my place. The neighbors thought I was a burglar and called the cops. FML

#5916110
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10372) - you deserved it (29879)

On 10/20/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by FailedEngineer (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house for dinner. Her mom gave me some seasoned cauliflower, which I didn't like. Not wanting to dissapoint my girlfriend's mom, I slipped the cauliflower of my plate and gave it to their dog. It turns out cauliflower gives their dog explosive diarrhea. FML

#3502310
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10371) - you deserved it (47720)

On 07/05/2009 at 11:23am - animals - by BigBallah93 - China (Beijing)

Today, I was fooling around on Omegle, when I came across a guy who claimed he could suck himself off. I was doubtful, but morbidly curious, so I told him to prove it. Turns out he could. Before I could close the browser window in horror, my dad walked in and got a good look too. FML

#20018573
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10370) - you deserved it (31011)

On 08/13/2012 at 11:06am - intimacy - by didntevenknow (woman) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I got feedback on an essay I wrote, by my mum who is also a teacher. She said it was 'worse than most of her pupils'. She teaches 10-year-olds. I'm a 20-year-old student at university. FML

#14132793
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10369) - you deserved it (16882)

On 12/08/2010 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I came home to find my little sister had decided to play hopscotch under our carport. Feeling a small childish urge, I decided to hop on one leg to the front door. I tripped and fell, slicing my knee open. FML

#7525813
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10368) - you deserved it (16284)

On 01/23/2010 at 6:18pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, when I went to see a movie with my best friend, and there were 3 girls loudly discussing blow job techniques. I texted my boyfriend about how gross the conversation was. His reply was "Pay attention. You might learn something." FML

#8966717
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10365) - you deserved it (22802)

On 03/10/2010 at 6:05am - intimacy - by ohno - United States

Today, I put up an ad on Craig's List to find a best friend. I don't know what's more pathetic: looking for a best friend online, or the ad being removed almost instantly. FML

#14960635
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10363) - you deserved it (25335)

On 02/13/2011 at 4:06pm - misc - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, the cute guy in my class asked if I wanted to come over to his house to "study" on Saturday for our finals. I went to his house expecting a good time. He actually wanted to study. FML

#18534413
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10363) - you deserved it (46379)

On 12/17/2011 at 8:30am - love - by SuperCoolGurl (woman) - Australia

Today, I was wrapping Christmas presents for my family. I got a huge paper cut on the webbing of my fingers, the pain of which caused me to scream out loud. My whole family heard and came rushing to my room. My grandma took one look, and scoffed, "Oh suck it the f*ck up, princess." FML

#14330650
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10360) - you deserved it (24065)

On 12/25/2010 at 2:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I jokingly mocked my dad about his age. He jokingly poured milk all over my head. FML

#18713079
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10354) - you deserved it (29158)

On 01/05/2012 at 1:58am - misc - by Kyle - United States

Today, I realized that the shorts I have been wearing all day say "Juicy" on the ass. My name is John. FML

#5136850
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10352) - you deserved it (44110)

On 09/08/2009 at 9:33pm - misc - by JuicyJohn (man) - United States (Connecticut)



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