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Today, I was accused of shop-lifting by an old lady in a supermarket. Having proven myself innocent, I tried to storm off to show my displeasure at the situation. In my haste to make a dramatic exit, I tried to go out of the entrance and walked straight into the automatic door. FML

#13723966
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21025) - you deserved it (11662)

On 11/05/2010 at 6:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Gwynedd)

Today, I went over to this girl's house that I really like. I was planning on cooking her dinner. In the process, the grease in the pan got too hot and caught fire. We ended up having to call the fire department. FML

#13340119
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21024) - you deserved it (7533)

On 10/06/2010 at 5:31am - love - by fireman (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I learned that when you take off your sweatshirt, it can get stuck in your braces. I was in public. FML

#19426271
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21024) - you deserved it (3297)

On 04/07/2012 at 10:10pm - misc - by Millian2 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I have to be at work with a smile on my face, whilst sitting next to the asshole that dumped me last week. FML

#1869
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21021) - you deserved it (4924)

On 01/20/2009 at 10:16am - work - by Heartbroken - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I told my dog to give me the stick he had in his mouth so I could throw it for him. After I picked it up I realized it was a dried-out piece of shit. FML

#21338477
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21021) - you deserved it (12211)

On 01/16/2015 at 7:37pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my wife and I convened our families for a joint dinner, followed by me breaking the news that my wife is pregnant. My father visibly scoffed, and my grandfather spent the rest of the evening muttering to him about how "breeders should be shot". Wonderful. FML

#19704356
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21020) - you deserved it (2101)

On 05/30/2012 at 12:45pm - kids - by unzucht (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I realized just how bad my 28-year-old husband's gamer rage is when I came home to a smashed TV. This is the second TV in three months that he's destroyed. FML

#20080513
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21013) - you deserved it (3866)

On 09/20/2012 at 8:31am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I met someone with the same name as me for the first time ever. I'm 20 years old, he is 97. FML

#467
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21013) - you deserved it (4184)

On 12/08/2008 at 3:46am - misc - by Heyhey - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was walking across a pedestrian crossing and waved at the driver of the car who'd stopped, just to say thank you. She stuck her middle finger up at me. FML

#19515959
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21011) - you deserved it (2562)

On 04/23/2012 at 9:00am - misc - by hoggypig -

Today, I finally summoned the courage to ask my dad to pay me as he promised, after I cut the lawn and cleaned all the house windows last week. His response was, "Get fucked." FML

#20188543
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21011) - you deserved it (2713)

On 12/02/2012 at 8:57pm - misc - by :/ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the movies with a friend and her grandma. Her grandma was using toothpicks and dropping them on the ground next to our popcorn bucket. I took a big handful of popcorn, and was fortunate enough to get a piece of her toothpick lodged in my throat. FML

#2289
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21008) - you deserved it (2050)

On 01/23/2009 at 6:36am - misc - by Spanky - United States (Michigan)

Today, a schoolmate I've always secretly hated came over to my place to hang out. She found her way to my room and instantly noticed my dartboard, which I'd taped a picture of her face onto. FML

#21246638
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21009) - you deserved it (42864)

On 08/27/2014 at 6:57pm - misc - by Woops (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my husband decided to be helpful and do all the laundry, including pre-treating all the stains. He felt that Clorox Clean-Up with Bleach would be the most effective. FML

#8374594
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21007) - you deserved it (3292)

On 02/17/2010 at 1:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)



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