The Top

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The all-time greatest FMLs

The happy couple

By Sexless - 18/06/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, on our honeymoon, my wife still won't have sex with me. When I brought it up, she started crying and said she's still "not ready" for sex. We're both in our late twenties. When the fuck will she be ready? FML

I agree, your life sucks 430

You deserved it 215

By dearme - 02/06/2009 01:53 - United States

Today, I was at the extremely crowded gym when someone came up behind me and shouted in my ear scaring the living shit out of me. I jump into a karate pose in front of everyone. No one was behind me. It was a new song starting on my headphones. A trainer asked me if I needed an ambulance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 430

You deserved it 118

Knackered

By Phil - 14/10/2024 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I fell asleep on the bus after a long day. I woke up to the driver nudging me, saying, "End of the line, mate." I had no idea where I was, and it was raining. FML

I agree, your life sucks 430

You deserved it 144

Injuries? In this economy?

By Olivia - 15/04/2025 03:00 - United States - Newark

Today, after I finally got health insurance through my job, I had a minor injury leading to me discovering that my deductible is so high, I’d have to be struck by a meteor to get anything covered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 80

By maxthndr - 10/02/2009 05:36 - United States

Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don't have a text messaging plan. I paid $0.25 to get fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 36

Disgusting

By SnotScrubber - 05/04/2024 07:00 - United States - Tulsa

Today, I was idly scratching gunk off the common computer while waiting for a meeting to start. It wasn't until the end that I realized it was dried snot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 140

Unlovable

By Anonymous - 18/03/2025 23:00

Today, I told my family that I have a girlfriend, and showed them her Facebook. They immediately started taking bets on when I’d mess it up, when she’d dump me, whether she actually existed, if I’d just made a fake Facebook, or whether she was a pro I hired. I hate my siblings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 144

To catch a predator

By Yes I mean EX boyfriend - 19/04/2025 21:00 - United States - Edison

Today, I asked my boyfriend of several months about his history with girls. Almost every single one was a girl he met while they were underage, then fucked as soon as they turned 18. When I flipped my shit, he looked at me like I was crazy. "They were all legal, what's the issue?" YOU'RE A FUCKING GROOMER, DUDE! FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 143

Happy birthday!

By Happy Birthday to me - 18/12/2023 13:00 - United States

Today, I'm officially no longer a teenager. I spent my birthday bedridden, because I've been extremely sick since the day before. This exact scenario happened last year too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 128

Damn algorithm

By a survivor - 31/03/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, no matter what I do, Facebook won't stop showing me pitbulls on my feed. I've been nearly killed by one a dozen times in completely unprovoked attacks, even ones owned by perfectly good people, so it triggers a panic response whenever I see one. Take your ugly murder beasts somewhere else, for fuck's sake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 478

What are you hiding?

By Horny af - 05/10/2025 22:00

Today, after several grueling weeks at the gym, my moribund sex drive suddenly kicked into high gear. All I want is for my husband to fuck me senseless, but he's now convinced I'm just trying to butter him up before dropping a bombshell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 178

Just corpsing

By Anonymous - 07/01/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I took a nap on my couch. I woke up three hours later to my neighbor knocking on my door, asking if I was OK because looking from the outside in, they thought I was dead. Guess I sleep like I’ve been hit by a truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 97

Just go for it!

By :( - 31/10/2025 09:00

Today, I've never celebrated Halloween or Christmas because my super-duper religious parents forbade me from doing so. Now I'm an adult and really want to make up for the childhood memories I was brutally robbed of, but I know people will laugh at me and say I'm too old if I try. FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 98

Snooping around

By Anonymous - 29/09/2025 20:00

Today, I found out the heartbreaking truth of why my husband won’t have sex with me. He cheated, got an STD, and is now waiting for it to clear up before he touches me again. When I confronted him, he flipped out and wrecked the house because I invaded his privacy by going into his phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 85

Creepy idea, dude

By Anonymous - 22/10/2020 17:01

Today, I finally found a way to lesser the loneliness in my life. During at least one work or school zoom meeting a day, I "pin" a random female attendee's screen. That way, I can pretend we're staring into each others eyes the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 1 404

Motherly love

By Anonymous - 13/11/2024 09:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, my mom texted me, “I just want you to know I love you very much.” Touched, I replied, “I love you too, Mom!” Her next message said, “Oops, wrong person.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 63

When you run out of kibble...

By FML Approved - 19/10/2017 20:30

Say it isn't so!

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 101

Chicken is seafood?

By Anonymous - 02/03/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, my family asked me to get dinner, as they'd heard a popular seafood chain had chicken baskets for $4 each. I had $15 on me. When I got there, the restaurant staff laughed in my face and insisted they had never, ever had $4 chicken baskets. The alternative? $14 for ONE chicken dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 186

Check yourself out

By Anonymous - 08/08/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I resorted to trying to guilt trip my husband into getting his prostate checked. He asked for one good reason why he should, so I said because he has two kids who don’t want to see him get prostate cancer. His response, "Nope, not good enough, now leave me alone." FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 184

Fair analysis

By Avnirvana - 07/10/2020 23:01 - United States

Today, I seriously considered writing in SCP-106 for president. I hate both candidates so much, I would willingly take President Radical Larry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 798

Tasty treat

By Heather - 09/05/2025 22:00 - Australia

Today, my mom tried a new recipe for dinner. She proudly served what she called "gourmet vegetable stew." One bite later, I had to fight every urge to not gag. She asked me how it tasted, and with a straight face, I said, "Delicious!" She then asked for my honest opinion, so I told her it was, um, "an acquired taste." She hasn’t spoken to me since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 78

Cease to resist, giving my goodbye

By The song is "Wave of Mutilation" by Pixies. Love the song, hate myself. - 29/08/2024 06:00

Today, it was my last vacation day in Hawaii. It was lovely, I was happy. Then I heard a certain song about suicide at the airport, which triggered a severe depressive episode. Then the airline misplaced the bag with my pills. Now I'm struggling with suicidal thoughts while trying not to break down and cry in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 241

Suspicious Minds

By TM in SA - 05/02/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend left to visit her mom for the first time since Covid. I'm happy for her, the problem is I've lost a lot of weight and put on muscle since Covid, so she's terrified I'll cheat on her while she's gone, and demanded I install Net Nanny on my phone. I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 383

High pressure

By Anonymous - 03/07/2024 06:00 - United States - Austin

Today, I learned that not all toilets are created equal. I visited a friend's house, and their super fancy toilet decided to give me a surprise bidet experience. The water pressure was so high, I ended up soaking my clothes. I had to borrow my friend's brother's clothes. He’s 14. I’m 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 100

By Anonymous - 23/02/2010 15:20 - United Kingdom

Today, I discovered everyone at work refers to me as 'The Man-Lady'. I work in a supermarket's beauty department. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 38

Farrah Faucet

By Anonymous - 24/05/2024 22:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I set about fixing the leaky, loose water tap in my kitchen. After hours of struggling with tools and rubber washers, I'd apparently finally managed to stop the leak. Proud of my handiwork, I turned on the main water to test it. The tap handle shot off, spraying water everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 161

Second opinion

By Anonymous - 20/04/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, I realized that my mental health is in the crapper because of the steroid I was prescribed for my severe inflammation. I'm not even 30, and my choices are to either be so mentally messed up that I can barely function, or in so much pain that I can't even look over my shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 96

Thanks?

By Sheila - 10/03/2025 12:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I wore a new outfit that I thought was super cute. I was feeling confident until a seemingly drunk woman came up to me in a bar, tapped me on the shoulder, and said, “I don’t know what you were going for with this", gesturing at my outfit, "but it’s not working.” Then she stumbled off to join her friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 96

Green fingers

By Claire - 11/02/2024 15:00 - United Kingdom - Edinburgh

Today, it's been a few weeks since I took up gardening to relax, caring for my plants, and they finally started blooming. Excitedly, I posted a picture online, only to have a friend tell me that my "beautiful flowers" are actually weeds. Apparently, I have a talent for cultivating the unwanted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 136

Gotta catch 'em all

By Takethefoot - 20/07/2024 05:00 - United States - Cabot

Today, I now have a plantar wart, chigger bites, and a brown recluse spider bite all in the same foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 94

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my period has given to me 4 giant zits, 3 screaming shits, 2 stomach ulcers, and a fever blister on my lips. A few days until Christmas and the gifts keep coming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 223

You deserved it 663

So, can you figure out what happens next?

I agree, your life sucks 595

You deserved it 154

Today, after another failed relationship, I started thinking about role models for what I could do better next time. After going through every relationship and marriage among my family and friends, I realized that almost all either already ended or are worse than the one I just left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 313

You deserved it 100

Today, while at my parents' house, I decided to take a shower. I had to use my sister's bathroom and once out, grabbed a comb from her cupboard to brush my hair. I then noticed the clumps of hair on my shoulders. It's a razor comb on one side, regular on the other. I used the wrong side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 497

You deserved it 18 095

Today, I went for a job interview. The woman interviewing me had such a thick accent that I had to keep asking her to repeat herself. She got so frustrated that she ended the interview super early. I don't think I got the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 612

You deserved it 1 215

Today, after pouring my heart out to my girlfriend of four years through a speech that took me three weeks to write, and then proposing, she responded, "Eh, why not." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 309

You deserved it 4 666