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Instant Regret

By FML Videos - 29/09/2018 00:30

Patience is a virtue!

I agree, your life sucks 183

You deserved it 396

By MonsieurH - 03/04/2014 07:44 - France - Perros-guirec

Today, my dog wouldn't stop pestering me while I was eating some chocolate mousse. I tried to get him to leave me alone for a bit by pretending to throw the mousse far away. The pot stayed in my hand, but I covered the furniture in chocolate mousse. My dog enjoyed cleaning it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 183

You deserved it 495

The sweet smell of…

By Anonymous - 14/04/2024 11:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, my coworker and I greeted each other with fist-bumps as usual. He said, "Damn bro, someone got some pussy last night." I asked what he was talking about and he stated my hands smelled "fishy". This morning I threw out some fish in my fridge and even the strongest degreaser doesn't complete the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 182

You deserved it 81

Footloose

By Imnotfromhere - 16/06/2021 10:59

Today, my neighbor told me to stop pushing the elevator buttons and opening doors with my feet. I bitched him out, because he's been making a huge issue out of it for months. Right after, I realized I forgot my keys inside and he's the only person around who could let me back into the building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 182

You deserved it 1 806

Ah, teenage love…

By Anonymous - 14/11/2022 19:00 - United States - Mineral

Today, I was sitting behind a cute girl in class. She said she liked musicals, so I played The Greatest Showman at full blast on my headphones. She turned around and moved seats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 182

You deserved it 1 483

Lies and love don't mix

By Gregoree - 16/04/2022 00:01

Today, I borrowed my mom’s BMW to impress my new girlfriend. I'd told her that I owned an accounting firm, so I had to look the part. Today was also the day someone decided to rear-end us. That someone happened to be my boss at Burger King. Let’s just say, the cat’s out of the bag and I’m single now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 182

You deserved it 2 978

Pick me

By Sarai - 27/02/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, the man I love chose yet another woman over me. For months and months on end I’ve been trying to make him see that I would make a great girlfriend and life companion, yet he dismisses me and chooses other people. What do they have that I don’t? What do I have to do to be good enough? FML

I agree, your life sucks 181

You deserved it 911

ADHD FML

By Anonymous - 12/04/2022 17:00 - United States - Mesa

Today, I asked my group via Discord if we had a meeting with the professor we're working with on a project. I got to chatting with someone else regarding the class we had just gotten out of, and forget to check the Discord until hours later, realizing one of my group mates had said yes, and that I had missed it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 181

You deserved it 1 257

Smoke signals?

By Anonymous - 15/02/2023 02:00

Today, my dad grounded me. Again. First it was my phone, now my watch. How the hell am I supposed to communicate now? FML

I agree, your life sucks 181

You deserved it 1 139

Tired

By sick of this - 01/04/2024 21:00 - United States

Today, I’m tired of women taking drastic measures to avoid me, even though I’ve done nothing wrong. Recently, I was talking to an old classmate from high school and she faked deleting her profile to avoid following up with our talk about plans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 181

You deserved it 433

Classic rookie mistake

By Anonymous - 04/11/2023 20:00 - United States

Today, I was taking a test and thought I was doing great until I realized I was writing all my answers on the question paper, not the answer sheet. By the time I noticed, there were only five minutes left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 181

You deserved it 367

Oh Bondage! Up Yours!

By Anonymous - 28/08/2023 06:00 - France - St-Malo

Today, and ever since I've known her, my girlfriend easily falls asleep if she lies down. We decided to try bondage on our bed, but once laying down she fell asleep. I was the one tied up to the bed frame. When she woke up, I thought it would be funny to say I could stay two more hours like that. She took it seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 180

You deserved it 517

Cringe factor 1000

By Busted - 05/03/2023 06:00

Today, I woke up to find my girlfriend not sleeping next to me. I go to my car and found a plethora of printed screenshots of me commenting things like, “So hot babe”, “Beautiful! I’d tap that” and other compliments on my female friends’ pictures on Facebook. My girlfriend’s not picking up her phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 180

You deserved it 4 458

You reap what you sow

By Brooke - 21/05/2022 18:00 - United States

Today, I invaded my boyfriend’s privacy by looking through his phone. I read the texts between him and his mom. I realized his mom is the worst. Then I realized I’m exactly like his mom. I told my boyfriend what I did, and called him weird for dating his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 180

You deserved it 2 217

Always read the fine print

By Anonymous - 04/02/2023 14:00

Today, I noticed that my coffee mug has a 'dishwasher safe' label. I've been hand washing it for a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 180

You deserved it 804

Humblebrag or what?

By Anonymous - 23/09/2023 08:00 - Canada - Greater Sudbury

Today, I had my third threesome with my fiancée and our friend. We are moving in together and I don't know what to do anymore. I can't stop thinking about her lips against mine, or how she feels when we fuck. I wish I had met her first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 180

You deserved it 676

Dishes, now!

By Anonymous - 25/12/2023 06:00 - Netherlands

Today, I went out to eat with a friend. I was supposed to be paying, but when I tried to, there wasn't enough money in my bank account. She didn't have money with her either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 180

You deserved it 674

Lock him up

By Homelesssoon - 07/10/2022 22:00 - United States

Today, I visited a friend’s house. He has a vast collection of Cartier bracelets. Being strapped for cash and starving, I stole one of them when he wasn’t looking, thinking he wouldn’t notice one missing. I went to pawn the bracelet. It’s fake. Rent’s due tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 179

You deserved it 3 855

Yes, probably?

By Richardson - 31/01/2024 20:00 - Netherlands - Beesd

Today, I have been working a childhood dream job, getting paid more than a doctor gets paid, to just sit around, smoke weed, and play video games. From sitting down for so long I have a tailbone infection and I bleed all day from it. I've gained over 40kg, I've lost all social contacts. Is it worth it for 15k a month? FML

I agree, your life sucks 179

You deserved it 811

Chill out, Gramps

By Chris T - 21/03/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend’s friends secretly make fun of me. They call me “grandpa” and a “massive creep.” They’re in their 20s. My girlfriend is 22 and I’m 48. Apparently, dating a consenting legal adult is considered “creepy.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 179

You deserved it 1 822

Bugging out

By Anonymous - 07/11/2023 16:00 - Italy

Today, there's a guy in my class who I'm very attracted to. I'm hyperconscious of him for that, and I worry about the impression I give. By now though, there have been at least two different eye contact occasions that made it look like I was staring at him when I was NOT, and now I must look like a creepy stalker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 179

You deserved it 423

Be Cool

By FML Videos - 28/11/2018 00:30

Nice try, buddy.

I agree, your life sucks 179

You deserved it 253

Reverse Uno prank

By Anonymous - 13/08/2023 12:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my best friend, who I hadn’t seen since last year, picked me up and we got to talking about our memories together. I brought up the time we both cheated on our girlfriends at a Red Hot Chilli Peppers concert. Little did I know his girlfriend was waiting in the back of the car to scare me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 179

You deserved it 806

Protip

By Late, for a very important date - 22/07/2022 22:00

Today, I found out my boyfriend accounts for my being late all the time whenever we go out. For example, he will ask me to be ready by 7, knowing I don't actually need to be ready until 7:45. He was so good at it that it's taken me 6 months of dating to notice. Am I insulted or impressed, I don't know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 179

You deserved it 2 704

That's a thing

By Anon - 13/11/2023 00:02 - United States

Today, my friend thought it'd be a great idea to drag me a new fitness trend - goat yoga. Mid-session, the goat had a nibble on my hair, and I ended up having to do a downward dog while trying to dodge a very friendly but mischievous farm animal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 178

You deserved it 333

It doesn't work like that

By Comeon - 02/07/2023 06:00

Today, the girl of my dreams rejected my advances once again. This is a girl who’s had her heart broken over and over again by cheaters and abusers. She can’t even recognize something great, even if it’s staring at her in the face. What do I have to do to end her vicious cycle of endless heartbreak? FML

I agree, your life sucks 178

You deserved it 1 755

The dead of the night

By Anonymous - 20/02/2024 13:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I caught my mom and her boyfriend fucking in their room at night, all because I wanted to go to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 178

You deserved it 281

"I'll never drink again!"

By Lewis - 16/12/2018 00:30 - France - Paris

Never say never!

I agree, your life sucks 177

You deserved it 266

Compromising position

By Hjeimoe - 09/03/2022 12:00

Today, I’m in the hospital with a broken leg and a bruised left backside, because my boyfriend’s wife came home earlier than expected from work and my only escape was from the second story window. Turns out, plastic trash cans are not very cushion-y. FML

I agree, your life sucks 177

You deserved it 4 131

It's a sign

By Anonymous - 19/01/2024 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, while talking with my sister about why she and her husband never want kids, my own kids kicked a football into the kitchen cabinet, breaking the very bottom shelf, and tipping every plate, dish, and bowl to smash on the floor. My sister just gave me that look, the look that says, “Duh!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 177

You deserved it 628

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The Top

Today, it's my husband's and my first wedding anniversary. I came home from work hoping for at least a bouquet of flowers, only to find my husband passed out on the couch, with a few beer cans next to him. I guess I missed the party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 771

You deserved it 218

Today, I emailed my boyfriend from work. Out of habit, I absent-mindedly entered my department into the "From" field. My boyfriend didn't notice when he replied. Now my entire department knows I want to "drop to my knees and suck him when I get home." And he plans to "finish on my face." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 905

You deserved it 74 251

The Top

Today, I kept getting out of bed because I was sure my daughter had pooped in her diaper. Every time, I found nothing. I finally figured out the foul smell was my husband's breath, when he leaned into kiss me goodnight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 293

You deserved it 2 587

Today, my little sister filled the huge house I spent over a week building in Minecraft with TNT. She then demanded I give her all the money in my wallet, or she'd blow it all up. She's now $86.25 richer, and my parents think it's too hilarious to make her give me my money back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 484

You deserved it 26 732

Today, I returned from my holiday in Cairo and was planning to go straight to bed, seeing as I had landed at 2 a.m. All was going well, until I tried to open my front door and realised that I'd left my keys, my S23+ phone, and my wallet in the cab I took home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 483

You deserved it 202

Today, I actually had to teach my 9-year-old brother how to pour himself a glass of milk, after he burst out in tears when my sister told him to do it himself. His astonishing ignorance also extends to basic hygiene. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 044

You deserved it 4 908

Today, I decided to to gather up the courage to ask the cute boy in my math class for his number. He gave it to me, and I texted him later that night. But little did I know he actually gave me the number of the creep in class who is always grabbing my ass. I ended up asking the creep out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 139

You deserved it 3 486

Today, my girlfriend and I started to be intimate after a run of dry spells. I was looking forward to this, until one of our kids came barging into our room and ruined the moment for the rest of the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 981

You deserved it 280