Today, I received a bouquet of flowers. I thought they might be from my crush, so I excitedly opened the card. It was from my druggie ex-boyfriend, who apparently can't move on with his life even after three years. The contents of the card? "Baby, I got you like a habit, and I can't give you up". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got flowers sent to my work, I happily opened them in front of my co-workers thinking they were from my crush, I open the card to see "Love you, from mom". My mother thinks my love life is so pathetic, thats she needs to send me flowers to cheer me up. FML
Today, I got a rose from my boyfriend. The card read, "It's over." FML
Today, I received a bunch of flowers from my 'lover'. This would be fine, except that I don't have a lover, and my boyfriend now thinks I'm cheating. FML
Today, I received a bouquet of flowers from my boyfriend, which is something he's never done before. Unfortunately, this was his way of apologizing for cheating on me. FML
Today, my boyfriend sent me a bouquet of roses with a message attached. The message said, "Ever since your dog died you've stopped putting out, so I think we should break up." FML
Today, I found a note in my boyfriend's car from another girl telling him she hoped he liked the flowers. These were the same flowers he gave me while I was in the hospital, just after having his kid. FML
Today, my girlfriend came home with a huge bouquet of roses. They were from an admirer, brainwashing her to think I'm a terrible boyfriend for not buying her flowers like he did. FML
Today, I bought my crush a bouquet of roses plus one fake. The line was going to be, "I'll stop loving you when the last rose dies." I told my best friend and he thought it was such an amazing idea that he stole the fake rose and gave it to her himself. Guess who got the girl. FML
Today, I got a bouquet of beautiful flowers from someone I'd never heard of. My boyfriend flipped his shit and stormed out, calling me a cheater. I called the flower shop. Turns out he made a fake order, just so he could accuse me of cheating and dump me. FML
Today, I got a gift from my ex-boyfriend who's currently studying abroad. He got me a really creepy snowglobe for my "collection" as a sweet gesture, maybe to win me back. Except I don't collect snowglobes. He'd confused me with the girl he cheated on me with. FML
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Top comments
toddin 7
Tell him to go to rehab. :)
CyrusTheBlue 0
Be glad someone wants to give you something. Women are so ungrateful.
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Comments (118)
Freeze_fml 17
Self humiliation. :D
Averizzle 0
The vday card should of been lined with cocaine.
elledubb 0
lmao!
DogmaT_fml 4
lacing someone's genitals with drugs to get them addicted it, is not funny.
arman1717 0
totally!
afolsom 0
third
toddin 7
Tell him to go to rehab. :)
Jrook 0
oh no no no
ladiesman14 0
i bet you bought him all kinds of crack and dope and made him addict ? then when you didnt want to party amymore you dumped him. after he smoked himself retarded you kicked him out YOU BITCH.
CyrusTheBlue 0
Be glad someone wants to give you something. Women are so ungrateful.
Xuphra 0
#5 Win :3
GalaxyShots 21
Men are so ignorant.
fmivida1 0
might want to check if those flowers are really flowers if you know what I mean.
eeeeeeee 5
Opium FTW.
ImRawrtastic 0
lmao
LemonMan 0
Roflcopter
qwertyt 0
**** you
corleon198425 22
priceless
quietlytearful 0
that's nice. I think you should forgive him. :D even if he is a "druggie"...
morella_xx 29
I'm just going to go ahead and assume you're ~13 years old. A "druggie" in middle school (the kid who smokes cigarettes and weed on the weekends) is a far cry from a "druggie" in the adult world. If he's making jokes about his drug use he obviously doesn't view it as a problem, which the OP does. So no, disregarding her feelings to further his interests is not "nice." But it is pretty typical of an addict.
YeahFMLxX 0
damnit shut up you troll.
PwnerJohn 0
^ you're a troll :3
Ultimate_Cynic 0
YOU'RE a towel!
moonlight_daze 8
#73, Bullshit! In the adult world, there are idiots who label anyone who smokes pot as “druggies”. The lie of Reefer Madness is still told and believed by gullible adults.
jamesyy 0
I agree with #5,so what you get your crush then? see lol I dobt she has ever given a gift. that's what you get for expecting to much.
justmeagirl 0
You're cared for. Stop complaining.
ImaginaryFoe 1
I guess you've never been relentlessly pursued by an ex or someone you don't care for? I was stalked for a couple of years by an abusive ex and it wasn't cute or anything to be grateful for. I can see this being an FML moment. I would've refused delivery.
ladiesman14 0
boohoo get over it. i bet you tell everyone you meet that annoying sob story just to get attention. just to make it look like someone wants you.
ImaginaryFoe 1
Actually I never told anyone but my husband, the police, and my therapist but I can see how someone like you would assume I'm desperate for attention. Didn't get enough hugs as a kid? Mummy didn't love you? Better a sob story than a lame troll. Because nothing says "I avoid the spotlight" like naming yourself ladiesman, you twat.