Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was working my job as a waitress near my college. I handed a customer her check, and she noticed that I had added her bill wrong. I apologized, and she pointed to my "student" labeled nametag, asking what I was studying. I said English. I'm a math major. FML

#2543138
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10166) - you deserved it (38498)

On 06/02/2009 at 7:13pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I work at a pizza place and one of my jobs is to spoon crushed red pepper into bags. After I finished this, without thinking to wash my hands first, I used the bathroom. It still burns. FML

#10959899
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10165) - you deserved it (29560)

On 06/04/2010 at 1:36am - work - by firecrotch (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, an unpaid intern had his first day at my workplace of seven years. As a joke, my boss gave him the same challenge she gave me on my first day. The intern completed it in 37 minutes. We've always been told it's impossible. Guess we all have to start working harder. FML

Today, I had to go to the hospital to get a harmonica removed from my mouth. FML

#17675757
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10163) - you deserved it (16350)

On 09/05/2011 at 10:52pm - health - by wheezy (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was outside, peeing on a cactus. Then all of a sudden my dog jumped on my back, knocking me into the cactus. FML

#6435507
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10154) - you deserved it (44859)

On 11/24/2009 at 12:11pm - animals - by yomamma787 - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was leaving a campus parking garage. Suddenly, a huge man appeared behind me and kept saying "HEY!" "STOP!" In a gruff voice. I picked up my pace and so did he. I finally turned to him with a can of mace and threatened to use it. He was trying to return the $5 bill I dropped. FML

#1615706
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10152) - you deserved it (44352)

On 05/04/2009 at 1:08am - misc - by CriminalMistake (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was babysitting for my usual. After putting the baby to sleep I put some popcorn in the microwave and went to the bathroom. When I came out the whole kitchen was filled with smoke. One of the neighbors saw and called 911. I'm out of a job. FML

#15214579
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10152) - you deserved it (29315)

On 03/06/2011 at 2:18am - work - by Dx - United States (California)

Today, the alarm on my phone went off. I picked it up, hit snooze, and dropped it back on my desk without looking. I woke up an hour later to find that I had dropped it directly in a full glass of water. FML

#13889
8 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10150) - you deserved it (20220)

On 02/07/2009 at 7:53pm - misc - by tarheels526 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, during my shift at a restaurant, my boss's daughter came in. I couldn't help but notice that she was almost popping out of her low-cut top. After having a private chat with her, my boss took me aside and said, "My daughter's got eyes you know, not just a pair of tits". FML

#3533033
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10146) - you deserved it (45178)

On 07/06/2009 at 7:28pm - work - by Cody (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was first in line at a stoplight. After five minutes, with a line of cars behind me, the light was still red. People behind me started honking, so I decided to just go. Halfway across the way, I was greeted by a camera flash. Nobody else went. FML

#5270007
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10146) - you deserved it (45994)

On 09/15/2009 at 8:16am - misc - by publicenemy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I learned how hard it is to remove peanut butter from your own eye. FML

#18271050
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10145) - you deserved it (18948)

On 11/17/2011 at 6:22am - health - by ray - United States

Today, I changed my Facebook relationship status to "In a relationship". The girl is made up and the picture is from Google. FML

#14480016
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10142) - you deserved it (48453)

On 01/05/2011 at 10:35pm - love - by sadlife -

Today, while attempting to sneak out of my boyfriend's parents' house during my walk of shame, I fell down the stairs, spilling cherry coke all over myself, their walls, and the carpet. FML

#15647820
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10142) - you deserved it (38670)

On 04/05/2011 at 3:47am - misc - by stairmaster -



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: