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Today, I went bowling with my friends. As I was about to take my turn, my friend came up behind me and yelled in my ear, "Don't mess up!" Startled, I dropped the ball on my foot. FML

#8448273
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20438) - you deserved it (3328)

On 02/19/2010 at 5:00pm - health - by lexiiiiiiweee - United States

Today, my husband started getting frisky, but I wasn't in the mood, so I said I'd just like to cuddle and talk. He decided a good topic of conversation was whether or not it would be physically possible to smoke my grandma's ashes from the cremation urn. FML

#19279309
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20438) - you deserved it (8828)

On 03/14/2012 at 9:32pm - misc - by solyana vr1 - United States

Today, I learnt there's a woman who comes into my store only to hear my Barry White-like voice. My boss knows who it is, yet refuses to tell me because it's "hilarious." I'm now cautious of every customer. FML

#18950332
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20434) - you deserved it (2811)

On 01/30/2012 at 4:00am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was pulling out of my driveway, and was being aware of the flowers I had just planted. I moved my head to look out my window as not to hit them, not realizing my window was up. I then hit my head break my nose and drive over the flowers. FML

#1845735
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20406) - you deserved it (39204)

On 05/11/2009 at 3:46pm - misc - by samantha246 - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend's mother came over for a few hours. After she left I went to grab a drink, only to find that three bottles of expensive liquor were missing from our liquor cabinet. FML

#20148667
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20432) - you deserved it (1598)

On 11/05/2012 at 9:02am - misc - by liquorless (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I returned to work after celebrating the New Year in Mexico. I wasn't feeling well, but didn't want to call in sick after already taking a vacation. Now I'm at work with diarrhea, and trotting to the bathroom every 30 minutes. My commute home usually takes around an hour. FML

#14475247
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20430) - you deserved it (5183)

On 01/05/2011 at 3:22pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was washing my hair in the shower when the water went ice cold. It's 20 degrees outside and we have soft water which takes a longer time to wash away soap. FML

#7520027
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20425) - you deserved it (2365)

On 01/23/2010 at 12:53pm - misc - by Moondoggie_ggk69 (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my hard drive on my computer crashed with all of my files on it. I took it to my Dad, who is a computer analyst, to see if he could recover anything. The only thing that he could salvage was my illustrious collection of porn. FML

#125777
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20423) - you deserved it (62772)

On 02/24/2009 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out from my mom that the sweet smelling shampoo she bought recently belongs to Tammi. I've been using it for a week now. The chocolate drops I ate yesterday are also hers. Tammi is our pet Chihuahua. FML

#6648312
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20423) - you deserved it (8150)

On 12/07/2009 at 9:44am - misc - by cookiecrust (woman) - Singapore

Today, I was making out like a sixteen year old at the high school prom with this guy I kinda liked. All of a sudden, he rolls away and tells me he's "finished." We both had our clothes on the entire time. He is 23, I'm 25. I didn't know that was possible. FML

#8769205
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20419) - you deserved it (3463)

On 03/02/2010 at 7:38am - intimacy - by virginmary - Reserved

Today, my alcoholism reached a new low when I found myself sitting on the toilet drinking a bottle of wine. FML

#20888651
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20419) - you deserved it (34445)

On 09/20/2013 at 3:22am - health - by drunkenloser (woman) - United States

Today, my little brother found the singing Santa Claus from last year, and it still works. I'm now going to be hearing nothing but "We WISH you a MERRY CHRISTMAS!" for the next 20 days. FML

#14109334
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20417) - you deserved it (4123)

On 12/06/2010 at 5:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I visited my friend in a nasty part of town. When I saw the shattered window of the car next to me, and the missing stereo, I moved my car to a safer location. Luckily, though, I have a common car, so the thieves were able to jimmy the lock and steal my stereo without making any noise. FML

#8712450
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20416) - you deserved it (2691)

On 02/28/2010 at 5:51am - money - by unsurprised (man) - United States (Texas)



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