Miscellaneous: Today, we wrote valentine's day poems in class. I wrote a very...

By Yudansha - 14/02/2009 03:10 - Canada

Today, we wrote valentine's day poems in class. I wrote a very depressing poem about how I was rejected by all the girls I like and how it hurt to be alone. When it was read to the class, they laughed and told me it was hilarious. Even the teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 432

You deserved it 88

Miscellaneous

Sorry…

Kids are assholes to each other

Mind-boggling logistics

By annoyedguy - 30/06/2009 11:20 - United States

Today, my girlfriend missed our date, so I text her angry, telling her if she can't make our dates then we should break up, and generally telling her off. 5 Minutes later I get a picture message of her sleeping in a hospital bed from her mother saying "Shut the **** up, she had appendicitis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 403

You deserved it 96 167

By Stef - 05/12/2018 05:00

Today, as I was about to go to bed, the lid came off a brand new bottle of laundry detergent and it toppled down my carpeted basement steps. 3 hours, 2 dozen microfiber cloths, and a bucket of water later and my steps are still full of suds. I went to bed at 3 am and my 10 week old was up at 4 am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 623

You deserved it 284

By Anonymous - 15/11/2010 09:11 - United States

Today, I couldn't get to work because I couldn't find my car keys. It turns out, my mother took them and put them "somewhere safe." She can't remember where they are. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 039

You deserved it 2 536

By Bedrest Blues - 24/12/2017 15:00

Today, my boyfriend told me that we can’t be together because I’m not the person he fell in love with since I don’t do anything all day. I’m 6 months pregnant and on bed rest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 561

You deserved it 431

By SeeMeInTheDark - 07/12/2009 08:54 - United States

Today, I was doing homework in my room when my roommate started meowing all of a sudden. Not only was he meowing, he started to make loud cat noises that resembled a cat being run over by a car. He's gonna be my roommate for the rest of the year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 002

You deserved it 3 346

By baddaddy - 23/03/2018 01:30

Today, my psycho ex is threatening to take me to court on child abuse allegations. How did I abuse them? I “gendered” our children by buying them certain colored clothing and toys... that they’d asked for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 260

You deserved it 305

By Fresca11 - 29/06/2011 00:51 - United States

Today, I was having dinner with my boyfriend. We'd just got our food when my dad walks in, comes up to our table and says, "I didn't say you could leave, you're too young to be dating him", then drags me out of the restaurant. We are both 15, and it was my first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 424

You deserved it 14 013

By anonymous - 27/11/2009 09:20 - United States

Today, I was opening up to my close friend about my low self esteem. To make me feel better, he told me that he gets a boner whenever he walks behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 202

You deserved it 7 576

By Anonymous - 13/01/2016 08:53 - Denmark

Today, I called my mom to make sure she could attend on the wedding day my fiancé and I had discussed. She started off with criticizing the venue we considered, then went on to criticize my fiancé, and then stated she would under no circumstances help out, but demanded to pick my wedding dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 406

You deserved it 1 587

By Simon Cowell - 08/09/2018 20:30

Today, I realised my teeth are so stained that they look cleaner when I've not brushed them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 210

You deserved it 838

By Someone - 22/02/2011 18:30 - United States

Today, someone started an event on Facebook for tomorrow called Kick A Ginger Day. Over 300 people are attending. There are only two redheads in my school, and I'm one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 218

You deserved it 9 271

By loquacious shit stain - 07/02/2013 17:11 - Australia

Today, I had drinks at a friend's house before going out to a concert. I still had a bottle of beer left, so I brought it along with me. I got kicked out five minutes into the show for bringing my own drink, which is apparently against the rules. I paid $75 to get kicked out over a $3 drink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 720

You deserved it 47 345

By Anonymous - 23/08/2012 21:40 - Ireland - Kilkelly

Today, my dad introduced me to my half-sister. He'd only recently found out that he had another daughter by another woman, and had only just met her. She and I have been in the same class in school for the past three years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 920

You deserved it 1 672

By Anonymous - 12/01/2011 13:29 - United States

Today, I was driving when I saw a spider hanging from the ceiling of my car. I'm terrified of spiders, so I was watching it instead the road. When I looked back at the road, I had just enough time to swerve to miss the fire hydrant but not the tree. Even the cop laughed at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 089

You deserved it 32 136

By CatLitterLover - 08/02/2011 06:51 - United States

Today, I dropped my Xanax. It wasn't until after I washed it down with some water that I realized it was still on the floor and I had actually swallowed a pebble of cat litter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 167

You deserved it 15 596

By Anonymous - 20/08/2018 00:00 - United States

Today, while having a break up fight with my fiancée, she informed me that the paternity of our unborn child was in question because one of the other guys couldn't remember if he got off or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 391

You deserved it 242

By PiaNO - 10/11/2009 21:41 - United Kingdom

Today, I was teaching a ten year old how to play piano. Halfway through the lesson, she made a minor mistake, which, trying to be a good tutor, I corrected her. She smiled up at me, paused, then slammed the key cover down onto my fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 254

You deserved it 3 521

By anonymous - 10/11/2015 22:15 - Czech Republic

Today, my boyfriend, who is rather large, picked me up to give me a hug, and some over-eager security guard actually pointed his tazer at him and told him to put me down. So he put me down and tried to ask what he'd done wrong. The bastard tazed him for acting aggressively. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 630

You deserved it 1 744

By _dopey_ - 17/05/2009 17:34 - United Kingdom

Today, I spilt boiling tea all over my stomach and left leg, so I went to the hospital to get it checked out. They said I wouldn't be able to expose it to the sun for the next two months. I'm going to Barbados tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 916

You deserved it 7 793

By Anonymous - 30/12/2008 20:30 - France

Today, when I saw a big box that looked like a playstation, I got really excited and my parents were there and everything looked like it really was something big, so I start to open the wrapper and surprise... it was a lamp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 879

You deserved it 6 939

By sallymay - 08/02/2018 13:00 - United States - Rockland

Today, I found out that my amazing sugar and oil olive body scrub will cause the next person to get in the shower to slip and break an arm. We have no insurance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 530

You deserved it 1 531

By eatmywords - 05/07/2011 07:06 - Singapore

Today, I laughed when I saw my ex-girlfriend in her overall uniform, thinking she'd got a job as a janitor. Turns out she's as professional marine welder. She's 22 years old and earns my monthly salary in three days. My current girlfriend who was there with me called me a loser in front of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 496

You deserved it 64 024

By Pop_Pies - 03/09/2009 13:27 - Australia

Today, I had been working at the checkout for over 5 hours. Slighty tired while serving a customer, my eye accidentally twitched and I gave him a wink, he smiled and winked back. When I finished work 2 hours later he was outside, waiting for me, and followed me to my car, still smiling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 982

You deserved it 4 140

Not now, mom!

By Anonymous - 28/09/2020 18:02 - United States - Gillette

Today, my mother showed up to pick something up from my house. I was sleeping and before I knew it she was in my bedroom, jumping on my bed, saying hi to my ex-girlfriend who she thought was with me. It wasn't my ex, and I doubt that girl will ever want to hang out again after that awkward morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 191

You deserved it 155

By TMI - 04/06/2011 16:41 - United States

Today, I had the misfortune of being left alone with my dad. He took it as an opportunity to tell me in detail all about his recent vasectomy, and the complications the surgeon had due to the scar tissue on my dad's testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 476

You deserved it 2 866

By Rowden - 26/04/2010 09:58 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend wouldn't lick the whipped cream I had on my nipples because "That stuff is full of calories." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 153

You deserved it 9 591

By fucking financial ruin - 23/08/2013 18:21 - United States - New Bern

Today, my boyfriend and I were discussing sports injuries, and I mentioned that I pulled a muscle in my crotch last year. He snorted and called me a clueless idiot because according to him, "girls don't have crotches". He's a med student. I sense malpractice lawsuits in our future. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 244

You deserved it 4 006

By mustache girl - 27/05/2013 23:10 - Canada - Magog

Today, I waxed my upper lip hair. My boyfriend later told me that he missed my mustache rubbing onto his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 046

You deserved it 6 039

By Anonymous - 17/09/2009 01:43 - United States

Today, I saw a weight loss 'before and after' advertisement and I wished I could at least look like the 'before'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 357

You deserved it 24 053

By whytoday - 14/05/2011 06:50 - United States

Today, on the first day of my nanny job, I wanted to impress my employers with how trustworthy and responsible I am. During the sixty seconds that I went to pee, the two-year-old found a black Sharpie and scribbled all over the wall. Nail polish remover made it ten times worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 343

You deserved it 8 302

By bad surprise - 26/01/2009 21:45 - United States

Today, I went to surprise my boyfriend in the shower. I opened the door and there was a giant shit in the open toilet. I pretended I was looking for my hairbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 124

You deserved it 7 515

By anonymous - 24/09/2011 15:22 - United States

Today, I was badly sunburnt even after making it a point to apply a lot of sunscreen. My coworkers thought it amusing to slap me every chance they get. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 312

You deserved it 4 687

Yeah, some "nice guy"…

By Anonymous - 19/02/2021 11:01 - United States - New Haven

Today, I tried to tell a girl that I had watched her Purdue boyfriend flirt around at every frat party. She thinks I'm lying and blocked me. Now all my friends are angry at me because he was a "nice guy" and she "didn't need to know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 105

You deserved it 183

By soo - 02/07/2015 20:25

Today, a guest at the hotel I work at started shouting at me. Apparently the street vendor selling sunglasses outside the hotel sold her a pair of 'genuine' Ray Bans for $5. She wanted me to phone the police because she realized two days later they were fake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 194

You deserved it 1 808

Official meeting

By Anonymous - 03/01/2020 18:33

Today, I went to meet my boyfriend's parents for the first time. His mother, seconds upon meeting me, gave me a hug, smiled at me, and said: "It's so nice to finally meet you! All I ever hear is 'Emma this', and 'Emma that', 'I love Emma!'. He never stops talking about you!" My name's not Emma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 548

You deserved it 192

Mixup

By Anonymous - 06/11/2021 23:00

Today, I had to Doordash lunch, due to an important work meeting in another timezone running incredibly long. I was trying to play it cool but I was starving. Finally, I get the notification that the food had been dropped off. I looked at the picture: it was delivered to my house instead of my office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 895

You deserved it 370

They'll hear you coming

By Anonymous - 30/09/2019 06:00

Today, I was diagnosed with exercise-induced asthma. I wanted to be a cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 652

You deserved it 156

By cool trick buddy - 01/01/2017 08:59 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I was tailgated on the highway. There was a car in the lane next to me, and my tailgater was WAY too close to risk slowing down, so I sped up in order to switch lanes, which bumped me over the speed limit. That's when my tailgater turned on the flashing lights. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 417

You deserved it 368

By everyonehatesme - 02/05/2010 08:37 - Malaysia

Today, I signed in my msn messenger. Everyone in my friends list apparently changed their status to 'busy' or 'away' when they saw me online, including my crush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 026

You deserved it 9 325

Horndog

By Anonymous - 25/04/2021 08:01

Today, despite giving my sister a place to stay while she's in town for a funeral, she demanded I give a bedroom to her son to have to himself, because, "How am I supposed to have 'sexy time' with my husband with him in the room?" Everyone's sharing rooms, and no one's getting sexy time as someone literally died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 414

You deserved it 86

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brownsound 0

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Saturday 14 February 2009 8:45

Valentine's is bullshit. just go out and have a drink with your buddies man, enjoy the time with your boys. If people need a day to tell their girl how much they love her... they aren't doin it right. You do that 365 days a year. if anything... you should have a "day off "from it

Kat_MS 0

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Saturday 14 February 2009 8:38

Aww, that's just insensitive =/

Kat_MS 0

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Saturday 14 February 2009 8:38

Aww, that's just insensitive =/

S0_Fricken_CUtE 0

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Thursday 14 October 2010 4:20

been there done that

Ethiopia_Salam 0

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Monday 3 January 2011 3:13

They probably thought it was a joke, they weren't really being insensitive. Should've played it off and laughed with everyone else. Getting rejected must've been brutal, fyl.

airjordan6_fml 1

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Saturday 6 August 2011 5:31

104 ur a good person

brownsound 0

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Saturday 14 February 2009 8:45

manicrose 3

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Wednesday 6 October 2010 1:49

This.

bteundeadmidget 5

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Thursday 9 February 2012 14:14

Is.

lolretard 0

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Monday 23 April 2012 20:14

SPARTAAA!

Scarlettkiss 8

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Friday 6 July 2012 22:29

Amazing...sorry, I never thought I would do this...but...WIN

Braeden_FML 5

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Friday 27 July 2012 9:36

Amen

Geraldinehoney 11

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Friday 19 September 2014 3:33

My mom always says that to me she's always like why love someone on one day u should be doing it all yearound

Pauline96_fml 20

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Wednesday 3 December 2014 5:41

I don't think he's old enough to drink

ZING_MASTER 0

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Saturday 14 February 2009 9:31

That's what you get for reading it to the class.

NorfolkDude 2

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Saturday 14 February 2009 17:08

I blame the mtv generation. I mean now adays you don't know if someone is serious or not. So when someone is sincere about his/her feelings, the immediate reaction is that the person is joking and you should just laugh. However, I think it took a lot of guts to share your feelings. The point is, perhaps you're looking for the wrong girls or maybe you're just talking to them wrong. Don't just blurt out your feelings, you gotta keep them in you and release them at the right time.

carriealana 0

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Saturday 14 February 2009 17:37

I really think you deserved that one. Reading that kind of stuff to your whole class may be gutsy but it's also stupid. They obviously thought you were joking, because no one reads that kind of thing to their whole class!

Rayn4u_fml 0

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Saturday 14 February 2009 18:30

What were you even thinking? That they would feel sorry for you, or that one of the girls would see how brave you be were, be deeply touched and fling her arms around you in front of everyone. I've not seen this movie!

Arbosis 0

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Saturday 14 February 2009 18:49

That happens when you try to be an emo writter. Be more positive the next time :)

Switch_fml 0

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Sunday 15 February 2009 23:01

Well where's the poem? I want to laugh too.

casanova_fml 0

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Tuesday 17 February 2009 13:24

go cry in the corner, emo kid. unlike motel 6 I'll even turn the lights out for you. being a downer will never truly get you the girl. no girl wants to use your tears as lube. cheer up, and if you're still lonely next year, remember that there are always plenty of drunk, loose, desperate girls at singles bars on V-Day...

casanova_fml 0

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Wednesday 18 February 2009 5:48

whining does no good. If you actually want advice or help, ask your friends, family, counselors....whatever. People don't mind that. But there is no benefit whatsover to whining. It doesnt get anything done and it doesnt do anything but make the people around you annoyed and not care to help you when you ask.