SK8 OR DIE - FML

SK8 OR DIE

By TeenaIs - 25/10/2019 16:00

Today, I asked a random guy at the skate park if he knew anyone who could sell me some weed. Turns out he was a parole officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 487

You deserved it 2 952

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 04/02/2017 19:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, at an MA meeting, I ran into the cop who'd pulled me over and given me a ticket for marijuana possession. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 512

You deserved it 1 317

By goodgrief - 05/03/2013 05:08 - United States - Rio Rancho

Today, I parked next to a police officer's car in a bad part of town. When I got out, I saw a bag of pot on the ground between the cop's car and mine. When I pointed it out to him, he insisted it was mine and interrogated me to the point of tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 527

You deserved it 4 945

Don't dick around with those guys

By Cuntface McGee - 21/02/2014 21:37 - Romania - Dej

Today, I was chilling out with my friend in a parking lot, when a police officer came up to the vehicle and suspiciously asked what we were up to. My friend sarcastically said, "Uh, doing drugs? Planning a drive-by? Haha!" We soon found ourselves in the back of a cop car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 915

You deserved it 18 625

Nice try, fed

By Anonymous - 21/09/2021 13:00 - Australia - Bankstown

Today, I was selling weed to a guy by text. He was using our code, saying, "Can I book a tutoring session at 6 o'clock?" I asked, "How many hours do you need?" He replied, "Three please." I said, "Sure." Then he said, "Just leave it in the blue Adidas again." FML

I agree, your life sucks 269

You deserved it 1 111

Sting

By gimme beer - 13/06/2023 18:00

Today, when I went to the gas station to buy beer, some underage punk outside asked me to buy him booze. I told him to get bent, but the dumbass cashier had seen me talking to him, and refused to let me buy alcohol because, "This is obviously a sting." FML

I agree, your life sucks 831

You deserved it 150

Take it up with HR

By Anonymous - 26/08/2024 16:00 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I got fired for failing a drug test for weed. My boss is the one who sells me weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 200

You deserved it 581

By fernie vazquez - 10/06/2012 09:16 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I went to meet my girlfriend's parents at her sister's play. The moment I introduced myself, I realized that her father was my probation officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 372

You deserved it 20 497

By idiot says "you raised him" - 31/05/2014 21:30 - Canada - Barrie

Today, my son got in serious trouble after he was caught trying to sell weed to people in the street. The good news is that the "weed" was just actual weeds he'd pulled from our lawn. The bad news is that at age 16, my son is too stupid to know the difference. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 186

You deserved it 7 996

Backwards world

By Anonymous - 03/10/2020 03:02 - Mexico - Mexico

Today, my life is so messed up that when I got pulled over, the officer asked about my life and not only did I not receive a ticket, he made me write down his personal number, patrol number and to call if I ever needed a favor or to talk, telling me that I had a friend in him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 474

You deserved it 285

Miscommunication

By Anonymous - 04/10/2020 04:02 - United States - Holmdel

Today, I went to a going away party for a coworker. I had brought weed for the party and at one point a guy asked me if I have a Grindr. I replied, "No, I don't use those dating apps. I do have a Fetlife but that's it, if you want it." He apparently meant a weed grinder. Most awkward 3 hours ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 569

You deserved it 1 292

Next

Top comments

saberjpg 6

Friday 25 October 2019 17:30

Well, he probably did know a guy who could sell you weed.

mike3775 35

Friday 25 October 2019 16:04

Stupid is as stupid does

Comments

mike3775 35

Friday 25 October 2019 16:04

Stupid is as stupid does

MidnaLink 33

Friday 25 October 2019 16:07

The fact that you even did that… *sigh*. Well, at least you didn’t say YOUR Parole Officer.

ojosRojos 28

Friday 25 October 2019 16:09

Yeahhh it’s never a good idea to ask random strangers for something illegal. YDI

bullsonyourface 20

Friday 25 October 2019 17:02

what are you, 12?

saberjpg 6

Friday 25 October 2019 17:30

Well, he probably did know a guy who could sell you weed.

Mungolikecandy 19

Friday 25 October 2019 18:39

It takes a new type of dumb to randomly ask someone to point them towards drugs without knowing who they are.

RichardPencil 30

Friday 25 October 2019 18:53

So, did he hook you up with a good one?

bl3ur0z3 17

Friday 25 October 2019 18:55

That reminds me of the time I asked some random guy at the bar if he knew a good hitman. He didn't, but turns out his brother was a cop who was able to name a few.

Tim Meller 1

Friday 25 October 2019 20:07

so he did

7and7is 20

Saturday 26 October 2019 0:33

Yeah, an adult at a skate park, nothing suspicious about that dude.

BurnInDemonFire 34

Saturday 26 October 2019 3:12

Do you not know who Tony Hawk is?

JackFaire 27

Saturday 26 October 2019 3:50

Uhm what? It's 2019 skating has been a thing since the 80s. Acting like it's weird for an adult to be at a Skatepark is like acting like it's weird for a bunch of adults to be at the football field watching a bunch of other adults play a game. People don't drop hobbies and interests when they become adults.

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend was on top in reverse cowgirl. After she orgasmed, all I heard was, "Oh fuck" and she clenched her butt to try stop, but it was too late, she shot diarrhoea up my stomach, chest and neck. The only reason I didn’t get any in my mouth was because it all got caught in my beard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 079

You deserved it 410

Today, I annoyed my friend by texting him "Meow" over and over at random times of the day because when he's drunk he meows in his sleep. Apparently a great way to get back at me was to tell my parents I wasn't a virgin, and that I got high on Wednesday. He had pictures to prove it for both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 634

You deserved it 68 713

The Top

Today, I had to call out of work due to my house flooding. As if that wasn't bad enough, my boss promptly accused me of lying because "the others from your town made it in today." I didn't realize we all lived together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 436

You deserved it 762

Today, I was sitting on park bench eating a sandwich when suddenly the bench broke and I fell and broke my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 986

You deserved it 110

Today, some guy walked into the restaurant I work at and ordered enough food to serve the entire National Guard of Texas. He thanked us by leaving a $0.50 tip and shitting on the bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 027

You deserved it 2 014

Today, I was in class finishing up an assignment when the guy next to me, my crush, said "I really love your hair." I started to blush then I turned towards him and said thanks, at the same time as the girl he was actually talking to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 514

You deserved it 6 394

Today, I was volunteering at the hospital. This lady was calling the Nurses' Station, and I had to go see what she wanted. When I asked her what she needed, she mumbled something. As I leaned in closer to hear what she was saying, she threw up all over my face. Apparently, she was nauseous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 537

You deserved it 4 938

Today, I felt a fear that my relationship with my boyfriend isn’t going to last. There’s nothing inherently wrong, yet I find myself thinking of breaking up with him. A lot. I love him and feel like I’m already part of his family, and that's something I don’t want to let go. I don’t know what to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 685

You deserved it 351