SK8 OR DIE - FML

SK8 OR DIE

By TeenaIs - 25/10/2019 16:00

Today, I asked a random guy at the skate park if he knew anyone who could sell me some weed. Turns out he was a parole officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 486

You deserved it 2 938

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 04/02/2017 19:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, at an MA meeting, I ran into the cop who'd pulled me over and given me a ticket for marijuana possession. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 501

You deserved it 1 313

By goodgrief - 05/03/2013 05:08 - United States - Rio Rancho

Today, I parked next to a police officer's car in a bad part of town. When I got out, I saw a bag of pot on the ground between the cop's car and mine. When I pointed it out to him, he insisted it was mine and interrogated me to the point of tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 522

You deserved it 4 942

Don't dick around with those guys

By Cuntface McGee - 21/02/2014 21:37 - Romania - Dej

Today, I was chilling out with my friend in a parking lot, when a police officer came up to the vehicle and suspiciously asked what we were up to. My friend sarcastically said, "Uh, doing drugs? Planning a drive-by? Haha!" We soon found ourselves in the back of a cop car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 898

You deserved it 18 614

Nice try, fed

By Anonymous - 21/09/2021 13:00 - Australia - Bankstown

Today, I was selling weed to a guy by text. He was using our code, saying, "Can I book a tutoring session at 6 o'clock?" I asked, "How many hours do you need?" He replied, "Three please." I said, "Sure." Then he said, "Just leave it in the blue Adidas again." FML

I agree, your life sucks 263

You deserved it 1 072

Sting

By gimme beer - 13/06/2023 18:00

Today, when I went to the gas station to buy beer, some underage punk outside asked me to buy him booze. I told him to get bent, but the dumbass cashier had seen me talking to him, and refused to let me buy alcohol because, "This is obviously a sting." FML

I agree, your life sucks 812

You deserved it 131

By fernie vazquez - 10/06/2012 09:16 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I went to meet my girlfriend's parents at her sister's play. The moment I introduced myself, I realized that her father was my probation officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 360

You deserved it 20 489

By idiot says "you raised him" - 31/05/2014 21:30 - Canada - Barrie

Today, my son got in serious trouble after he was caught trying to sell weed to people in the street. The good news is that the "weed" was just actual weeds he'd pulled from our lawn. The bad news is that at age 16, my son is too stupid to know the difference. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 178

You deserved it 7 977

Backwards world

By Anonymous - 03/10/2020 03:02 - Mexico - Mexico

Today, my life is so messed up that when I got pulled over, the officer asked about my life and not only did I not receive a ticket, he made me write down his personal number, patrol number and to call if I ever needed a favor or to talk, telling me that I had a friend in him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 465

You deserved it 271

Miscommunication

By Anonymous - 04/10/2020 04:02 - United States - Holmdel

Today, I went to a going away party for a coworker. I had brought weed for the party and at one point a guy asked me if I have a Grindr. I replied, "No, I don't use those dating apps. I do have a Fetlife but that's it, if you want it." He apparently meant a weed grinder. Most awkward 3 hours ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 564

You deserved it 1 245

By CaptainByron - 28/04/2017 00:00

Today, my father contacted me for the first time in close to 2 months. The first thing he did was ask if I wanted to buy some weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 375

You deserved it 312

Next

Top comments

saberjpg 6

Friday 25 October 2019 17:30

Well, he probably did know a guy who could sell you weed.

mike3775 35

Friday 25 October 2019 16:04

Stupid is as stupid does

Comments

mike3775 35

Friday 25 October 2019 16:04

Stupid is as stupid does

MidnaLink 33

Friday 25 October 2019 16:07

The fact that you even did that… *sigh*. Well, at least you didn’t say YOUR Parole Officer.

ojosRojos 28

Friday 25 October 2019 16:09

Yeahhh it’s never a good idea to ask random strangers for something illegal. YDI

bullsonyourface 20

Friday 25 October 2019 17:02

what are you, 12?

saberjpg 6

Friday 25 October 2019 17:30

Well, he probably did know a guy who could sell you weed.

Mungolikecandy 19

Friday 25 October 2019 18:39

It takes a new type of dumb to randomly ask someone to point them towards drugs without knowing who they are.

RichardPencil 30

Friday 25 October 2019 18:53

So, did he hook you up with a good one?

bl3ur0z3 17

Friday 25 October 2019 18:55

That reminds me of the time I asked some random guy at the bar if he knew a good hitman. He didn't, but turns out his brother was a cop who was able to name a few.

Tim Meller 1

Friday 25 October 2019 20:07

so he did

7and7is 20

Saturday 26 October 2019 0:33

Yeah, an adult at a skate park, nothing suspicious about that dude.

BurnInDemonFire 33

Saturday 26 October 2019 3:12

Do you not know who Tony Hawk is?

JackFaire 27

Saturday 26 October 2019 3:50

Uhm what? It's 2019 skating has been a thing since the 80s. Acting like it's weird for an adult to be at a Skatepark is like acting like it's weird for a bunch of adults to be at the football field watching a bunch of other adults play a game. People don't drop hobbies and interests when they become adults.

Keywords

Parents Relatable Work Awkward Job interview Social Media Jealousy Love Facebook Friends Relationship advice Kids AITA Roommate Shoes Annoying Names Music Customers Capitalism Money Education Gamers Weird Bodyshaming Coworkers Landlords Allergies Dogs Embarrassing

The Top

Today, I was working at the pharmacy and had a older man come in. He was buying Viagra and, by law, we are required to ask if the patient had any questions. His lovely response was, "When you coming over so I can test this stuff out?" His wife and daughter thought it was hilarious. I could've died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 844

You deserved it 634

Today, while I was making out with my boyfriend, he left my dorm suddenly without telling me where he was going. A few hours later, he texted me to tell me that being with me made him feel dirty and he had gone to confession. He then called me a sinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83 513

You deserved it 7 847

The Top

Today, my grandma and I were watching the Ranger's playoff game. As Henrik Lundqvist received a standing ovation from the crowd after blocking 38 shots, she says to me, "Check out his equipment!" My 80-year old grandma just commented on Henrik Lundqvist's package. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 257

You deserved it 4 962

Today, my estranged husband told me he’s sad that he lost the dog. He didn’t mention anything about losing me, his wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 443

You deserved it 438

Today, before my date came to pick me up, I put tissues under my arms so I wouldn't leave wet marks. I forgot to remove them, and when we got physical, they fell out, looking like I'd stuffed my bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 418

You deserved it 33 489

Today, I discovered my new phone's voice command doesn't really understand my accent while I'm driving. It kept thinking I was saying, "Call my mum" instead of, "Open Maps". It called my mum 14 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 500

You deserved it 172

Today, I saw a kid throwing a tantrum in a supermarket. Thinking it was a matter of lack of discipline, I waited for the kid’s mother to come out of the bathroom to tell her how naughty her son was being. I then got to watch her beat her son to the point of unconsciousness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 591

You deserved it 1 387

Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 507

You deserved it 15 898