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The all-time greatest FMLs

There is no "normal"

By Anonymous - 22/09/2023 08:00 - United States - Aldie

Today, two years after my toxic and self-centered ex-wife left me, I got remarried, but I feel like it broke my trust in people, which I used to. I now feel I don’t do enough for my present; I do better than most and have got more than average people, but I'm still too hurt and depressed to be normal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 549

You deserved it 218

Take a load off

By MustyAtticMouth - 13/01/2024 12:00 - United States - Chesterfield

Today, a long day of work and a bad day for my mental health, I tried to relax with my wife, a movie, and a soda. After returning from using the bathroom, I took a swig to discover a particularly odorous stink bug had snuck into the can, now my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 549

You deserved it 111

Home invasion !

By Anonymous - 22/03/2024 12:00 - New Zealand - Wellington

Today, I woke up to find my entire lounge floor crawling with maggots. Our whole house is clean, and they’re big enough to be days old, yet showed up overnight. I still have no idea where they’ve come from. FML

I agree, your life sucks 549

You deserved it 91

Kafkaesque

By Anonymous - 05/11/2024 03:00 - United States - Littleton

Today, it's been 5 years since I had a high paying job, the opportunity for promotion, and work on a project in the field I have wanted to work in since I was a kid, as well as a budding social life. How am I doing now? It's been 5 years since I first became nearly bedridden with a debilitating illness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 549

You deserved it 72

Classic move

By Anon - 13/10/2023 04:00

Today, after being severely depressed for a week, I was having sex with my boyfriend when got so anxious that I threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 549

You deserved it 167

Surprise!

By Anonymous - 22/06/2025 20:00 - United States - Altoona

Today, after my girlfriend had said she was cooking surprise dinner for me this week, the crazy thing is I came home early from work and the surprise dinner was she was eating some dude's cock and balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 549

You deserved it 121

Some girls are bigger than others

By Anonymous - 05/09/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend is pissed at me and crying that I bodyshamed her. She wants to do that cutesy shit of wearing my clothes and hoodies but she outweighs me by more than 50lbs. I’ve offered to buy her hoodies and spray my cologne on them for her, but I guess that’s not good enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 549

You deserved it 125

Spooked

By Anonymous - 10/03/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, because my husband wasn’t paying attention, he gave our 6 year-old his Netflix instead of the kid safe settings, so she watched a very gory horror film that has given her nightmares, so I now haven’t slept in 5 nights because of it. My husband face sleeps soundly through her screaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 549

You deserved it 161

You OK dude?

By Anonymous - 28/03/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I walked out to the parking lot and caught a homeless man laying a fat steamer on the hood of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 549

You deserved it 74

The buck stops here

By Anonymous - 20/09/2022 12:30

Today, my dad answered his Skype call by insisting he wasn’t giving me any more money. Thing is, I had been about to ask for money, again. I tried to open a shop in the middle of a pandemic, and I’m 4 months late on rent and utilities. I ended the call so he wouldn’t see his grown son crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 549

You deserved it 1 370

Dude bros

By Single - 14/12/2024 20:00 - United States - Edison

Today, I learned that when you try to be respectful of your new girlfriend and stay out of her pants for the first couple of months, she's just going to sleep with your douchebag roommate. He even said, "A girl this hot, you need to fuck her ASAP or she'll leave. Your loss, dude." FML

I agree, your life sucks 549

You deserved it 283

You know who you are

By Anonymous - 18/11/2022 04:00

Today, the way some people just pry into others' life is annoying me. I have very little patience for nosy people who imply and make assumptions about you based on very little information, then air it all out in a work environment. The anger I felt towards you, my coworker, oh my god. I know he noticed and I don't care. FML

I agree, your life sucks 549

You deserved it 368

Unprofessional

By Anonymous - 21/03/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, a coworker sent a last-minute request for a highly complex custom report based on a spreadsheet. It took most of the weekend and Monday to get right because he'd screwed up most of the calculations. The client was pissed; they'd wanted it done by 5PM GMT that Friday. He'd sat on the request until 5 EST Friday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 548

You deserved it 87

I'm new to all this!

By Anonymous - 18/08/2023 20:00

Today, I tried to parallel park in front of a crowd. After several failed attempts, someone shouted from a window above, "Nice 23-point turn, dumbass!" I was practicing on an empty street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 548

You deserved it 257

Don't dip your pen in company ink, etc.

By Briana - 29/09/2019 22:00

Today, after 2 years of searching, I finally have a job that I love. Now I'm probably going to lose it because I started having sex with one of my managers, and our coworkers are starting to catch on. They caught on pretty much the day I told him that we should stop having sex so we wouldn't lose our jobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 548

You deserved it 3 382

By buttpicker - 19/04/2010 23:24 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog and he stopped to take a crap. While he was doing his business, I saw something white coming out of his butt that just wouldn't budge. He started whimpering and I stepped in to help him. I pulled out an entire plastic bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 548

You deserved it 36

The status quo is fine

By starlight starbright - 15/02/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I was chewed out and blocked by several of my “friends” because I never post anything political, and am therefore right wing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 548

You deserved it 128

Not to mention the muffled dialogue

By Anonymous - 30/05/2023 15:00 - Germany

Today, I thought of the saying “TV killed the radio star”, because in the show I'm currently watching it is so dark most of the time that you can neither see people’s faces, nor what is actually happening. If that’s modern television, we might just as well go back to radio. FML

I agree, your life sucks 548

You deserved it 191

Once you pop…

By P…… - 20/09/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, not an hour after my girlfriend lectured me on boundaries and "my body, my rules", she threw an epic tantrum because I wouldn't let her pop a pimple on my ear. Apparently, only she gets to have boundaries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 548

You deserved it 97

YouTube Drama

By Youtube drama sucks - 04/02/2021 22:58

Today, I went down a four-hour YouTube rabbit hole trying to understand the Onision drama. I finally snapped out if it, thinking, "I don't care about any of this. What am I doing with my life?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 548

You deserved it 511

Stuck in the '70s

By Anonymous - 14/04/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to take my horribly misogynistic grandad to get his car repaired. After it was done, he realised the repair had been done by a female mechanic, so he refused to pay or leave until a “proper mechanic” checked over his car to make sure she hadn’t fucked it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 548

You deserved it 117

By onething - 08/07/2009 17:06 - United States

Today, my boyfriend picked me up to come spend the night at his house, and on the way he started pulling over to get some condoms. I told him no need, I was on my period. He turned the car around and took me home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 548

You deserved it 85

Get out of the garage

By lq87 - 09/08/2023 08:00 - United States - Lebanon

Today, I realized my fiance would rather sit in the garage and get high than spend any time with me. I can't remember the last time we had sex and I don't know what to do at this point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 548

You deserved it 150

False economy

By Anonymous - 22/03/2023 16:00 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, I tried to save money by buying a generic brand of coffee instead of my usual brand. It tasted terrible and I ended up throwing it away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 548

You deserved it 346

Tit for tat

By Anonymous - 18/03/2026 20:00

Today, my my soon to be ex-wife found out I was telling the truth and never cheated. She wanted to get back together but I told her that we're too far into the divorce proceedings to turn back, and there's just no fixing our marriage. She then told me she's filing for full custody with no visitation rights. FML

I agree, your life sucks 548

You deserved it 64

The value of labor

By Chad - 28/09/2024 20:00 - Belgium

Today, after working for over a decade at the same place, I was formally written up with two days of leave without pay for refusing to work extra overtime. I've been working over 80 hours a week for four months now and even cancelled some very important plans so I could work every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 548

You deserved it 92

Cut short

By Anonymous - 12/07/2025 22:00 - Ireland

Today, after working two jobs and saving constantly this year all for a month-long solo vacation traveling to 7 countries, I arrived in first one. Within three hours I fell and broke my foot, forcing me to come home in fear of needing surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 548

You deserved it 107

Man's best friend

By Larry - 19/09/2023 16:00 - United Kingdom - Swansea

Today, I went for a long hike in the woods, just me and my best friend, a Tibetan Mastiff called Flea. While trying to take a selfie with a beautiful view as a backdrop, I tripped over one of her huge paws, rolled down a hill, and landed in a pile of what I hope was just mud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 548

You deserved it 287

Trigger warning

By Anonymous - 19/12/2023 06:00 - India - Kolkata

Today, I'm watching another teen TV show, taking me back to my childhood, which sucked in a million ways, being the poorest and ugliest nerd with an evil father. I never enjoyed a day of my childhood, teenage or school. Grades were a life and death situation, because education was the only way out of that hell hole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 548

You deserved it 164

Biohazard

By Dev Engineer - 29/01/2024 20:00 - United Kingdom - Totteridge

Today, my roommate, who is 22 years-old, doesn't understand that the trash needs to be taken out. He just puts pizza and burger boxes on top and around the dustbin. Prior to moving in, his mom and sister emphasized on how "clean" he is. He never showers either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 548

You deserved it 95

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The Top

Today, we spent an entire day without being able to do work because our internet connection was down. Turns out, only the router had crashed and nobody bothered to reset it "to avoid doing further damage". FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 547

You deserved it 3 465

Today, I found out that a family member found a publisher for his book; his badly written, terribly sourced, historically inaccurate book that insults and misrepresents most world cultures and religions. If this actually makes it to print, I'll never be able to use my maiden name again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 338

You deserved it 2 386

Today, I just found out my dad got remarried a year ago. The woman is officially living with us, I got to have lunch with her alone today. I found out she is only 22, with a 14 year-old little brother. My dad's 47. I'm 17, now with a 14 year-old uncle, and a mom that can pass for my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 412

You deserved it 3 113

Today, I found out that my new, expensive noise-canceling headphones trigger my motion sickness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 184

You deserved it 260

Today, I took a flight from Seattle to Oregon but missed my flight back home to California because the flight attendant came in late and delayed our flight take off time. Then I was told the only way to get California was to go back to Seattle and fly to California from there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 933

You deserved it 137

Today, I tripped over a dog and broke my elbow. I'm stuck dogsitting for the rest of the weekend and he won't stop jumping up at my broken arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 900

You deserved it 116